Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding…oh oh oh ohhhh! It’s time for the much anticipated Zolciak-Biermann nuptials. Can you hear the wedding bells? They’re auto-tuned!
There is a lot of construction and place settings happening at Kendra Davis‘ abode. A trailer filled with high-end porta-potties pulls into the driveway. Kim forgoes the regular conversation with KJ, just singing to him while he’s held by an assistant and praying he won’t be fussy for her ceremony. Kroy and the couple’s officiant (and former Kroy teammate) Koy decide to imbibe a few beers. Kroy thinks this wedding is a gift from God, therefore, he isn’t the least bit nervous.
Kim wants to sent him a voice message professing her love. Kroy’s mom and sister are getting their make-up did done. His mom is trying to convince everyone about how young her skin looks. Kim’s mom enters stage wasted and finds Sheree Whitfield getting the full make-up/hair treatment. Mama Zolciak is jealous. Sheree seems to have popped some Xanax before being filmed…perhaps she’s dealing with some RHOA withdrawals.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that there has been a lot of back and forth about Kim and Kroy’s living situation, which all came to a screeching halt when Kendra Davis, homeowner and landlord of Kim’s Barbie dream house, kicked the family to the curb. Where to Zolciak-Biermanns? To Big Poppa’s condo it is! Tamara Tattles has some very insightful notions as to why Kim and Co. moved back into her Atlanta townhouse, not the least of which being it seemed the only viable option. She also has some interesting (and quite probable!) views on why Kendra finally said enough is enough!
Tamara also enlightens viewers about some of the wedding hullabaloo. What I found most interesting is that, in previews, Brielle informs her mother that there are helicopters flying over the property. My first thought? Paparazzi. My second thought? This isn’t Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s wedding. Why is the paparazzi going to such extremes to snap a picture of a Bravolebrity couple? According to her blog, those helicopters don’t belong to invasive tabloid photographers, but Bravo cameras which are shooting all the aerial scenes for the wedding. Oh Kim, you had me fooled!
As always, the episode starts with Kim talking to precious K.J. (is he always in a skull cap?) about the big day. The last minute preparations are happening in the back yard. Brielle and Ariana bring Kim breakfast. Kim reveals that the always romantic Kroy has insisted that they don’t see each other on the day leading up to the wedding. The couple won’t be honeymooning until after football season.
Assistant SweetieNiki is now going to serve as matron of honor in place of Kim’s biffle Jen. With all the changes that must take place in order to have Niki ready for the big day, Kim enlists Brielle to call her to make sure she will still have time to fix the girls’ hair. There is one thing that isn’t causing Kim any stress, and that is Antonio Davis. Security is making sure that he isn’t allowed to set foot on his property.
Yesterday, Mrs. Kim Zolciak-Biermann had a long day of communicating with TMZ. First a source close to her told the gossip site that she was certainly NOT being evicted as previously reported. And although Kim told everyone at the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion that she was “closing” on her “dream house,” she and hubby Kroy Biermann have since changed their mind, citing the $3M listing price was over-valued by a million dollars.
Kim also said her landlord/interior decorator, the formidable Kendra Davis, threatened to evict her after she walked away from the purchase deal and then Kendra started bad-mouthing her on Twitter. This was after Kim started badmouthing her on Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding (and Twitter) of course!
Now there have been many rumors about Kim‘s attempt to purchase said mansion – namely that she and Kroy couldn’t get approved for the $2.5M mortgage required to buy the property. Of course we don’t have access to Kim’s bank account, so we have no idea if that’s true, but that’s the tea that was spilled.
For me, last night’s anticipation was palpable. I mean, for serious! We finally are going to get to see Kim Zolciak sans wig! I can hardly contain myself. So, dear readers, sit back and enjoy the recap for Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding…it’s less than 48 hours in TV world until we meet Mrs. Kroy Biermann!
We begin, of course, with Kim telling precious K.J. about all the stress and craziness that surround her wedding plans. I love that she informs him that her wig has yet to be cut and that dudes in Atlanta do in fact wear heels…especially if their name is Derek J. Construction is in full swing for the nuptial scenario, and Kim and Kroy meet with security. Kim is concerned about the people who have RSVP’ed to her wedding that she didn’t actually invite…aka perfect strangers (Balkie joke? Nah). She takes security on a tour of their home and informs them of who is allowed to be in the house…and it’s basically just family. Kroy wants guns and dogs. Armed security and Shepherds? Check.
Everybody’s favorite wig-lovin Housewife will celebrate another momentous occasion today. She will be unveiling her real hair on television tonight for the first time ever! That’s right – Kim will go wigless in preparation for her wedding hair.
I can hardly wait – I have been waiting FOUR years on bated breath for the real live, albeit heavily dyed, strands and follicles of Madame Zoliciak now Biermann.
Well fans and gawkers alike, Reality Tea will be capturing the unveiling – which may just be the most exciting thing Bravo has ever aired – via liveTweet. So don’t forget to join us for the gasp inducing reaction we’re sure to have!
Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding airs tonight at 9:30/10:30 EST on Bravo.
It’s just four days until the fantasy nuptials of the future Mr. and Mrs. Kroy Biermann. As the time runs out, drama amps up…but it’s no longer mama drama on Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding. Jen has become the MOH who is MIA.
Just like with every episode, the show begins with Kim Zolciak talking to the adorbs K.J. She is complaining to him about how lax her matron-of-honor Jen is being, and he is just giggling away in his Spiderman hoodie. Kim can’t dwell on slack attendants for long, she has tent issues to worry about. Severe tent issues that drive her to drink white zinfandel before lunchtime. Kim has visions of covering the pool and and getting hitched under a gazebo which will sit atop the jacuzzi. She never ever ever ever had dreams of a tent in her backyard to shield guests from potential bad weather.
TMZ reports that the Roswell Fire Department got a call around 9:35am yesterday morning to send a truck to the scene where a four-wheeler was burning. The fire department was able to extinguish the fire and no one was hurt.
I would make a joke about white trash and four-wheelers catching on fire, because I’m from WV and can do things like that – but house fires are serious. Let’s just say: good thing no one was injured and the house didn’t end up in flames.
Kim tweeted her appreciation, “Shout out to Roswell Fire Dept for their quick response this morning God is always on my side! #grateful!” We’re grateful too.