So, a special thanks to Kim Zolciak Biermann, Kroy and crew for a much needed break from Miley Cyrus and the VMAs last night. I know, I know, I didn’t have to watch, but I couldn’t stop…until it was time for Don’t Be Tardy. Gracious pop culture can make me feel so incredibly old! Of course, I feel like I’m watching the reality show a 40-year-old Miley will have with her family as Kim answers their phone to hear four-year-old son cage yelling to open the “f@$%ing gate” so he and the nanny can get into the driveway. Kim scolds her oldest daughters for giving KJ a potty mouth as she jokes that she never swears in front of her young ones. Eye roll.
The family is getting ready for their annual vacation to Destin, Florida, but Kim is hoping for more glamorous locales once the twins get older….like Mexico. Chef Tracey (who loves to say things for shock value to make sure she gets more screen time) warns Kim of the rampant child organ black market in Mexico. Tracey swears she’s not making it up, but Kim quickly changes the subject to something more important…her wigs. How will they best transport her precious wigs to Florida? Shoe boxes is not the way to go…they need seat belts. Kroy suggests a U-Haul for the wigs, but Kim deems that “trashy.”
Kim Zolciak‘s face has undergone some dramatic changes as of late. Kim insists she’s just an avid fan of skincare and facials and now you can have skin as amazing as hers! The Don’t Be Tardy star recently traveled to LA just to get a special facial and now Kim announces that she’s starting her own skincare line!
Kim shared a photo of herself post-facial, which she purported to be make-up free (NOT) and revealed it’s the precursor to her very own skincare line! Gee – now you can look just. like. Kim!!!
Y’all, I’m torn. On one hand, I enjoy watching a show on Bravo that doesn’t revolve around incessant bickering and pettiness, but on the other hand…that chef, the language, Kim Zolciak Biermann’s new face that she’s denying! What’s up with all of that? Don’t Be Tardy is certainly mindless entertainment, but I feel like it’s also killing my brain cells…but what reality show isn’t these days?
Last night’s installment begins with Kroy and the obnoxious chef playing pool as Gloria the assistant brings downstairs the overly excited tiny pups with their red rockets glaring in Kim’s face. As Kim complains about the puppies x-rated doggie parts, one creature pees on Brielle’s bum and everyone gets into an overly ridiculous conversation about how many sacs hold the testicles in both canines and men. Kim has felt the balls and sacs with her pooches and her husband. That’s a tad too much information for this blogger!
The mother of six took to instagram to brag about her thigh gap, under the guise of showing off her shoes. Kim has to keep it right and tight and hot and sexy for Kroy!
Above Kim shared, “My feisty followers want me to take my pics closer up so you guys can see the detail!! How’s this 😉 and listen I turn my feet in so you can see my damn shoe not to have a thigh gap cause I have that anyway!! #DownAtEmory #NotPregnantSoDontTryIt shoes:Jimmy Choo shirt:Dont Know jeans: citizen of humanity”
Kimadded, “THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! This is the text I got from my boss this morning!! Tears were streaming down my face feeling soooo blessed, so grateful! I love you guys!! #ThankYouGod #ThankYouToAllMyFans #Celebrate”
Geez Louise! Just the preview for the upcoming season of Don’t Be Tardy gave me the spins–I’d almost forgotten how quickly that theme song infiltrates your brain and refuses to leave! Good thing I still have some of Kim Zoliciak Biermann’s mango sparkling moscato to get me through the premiere. Kidding…if a bottle of wine goes a week (much less a year) in my house without being opened, there’s a reason.
The episode begins with Kim and Kroy wrangling their youngest children as KJ helps their full time chef Tracey. Should I be bothered that Tracey just said “ass” in front of a four-year-old? Brielle enters dressed in her mother’s hand-me-downs from the first season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, and in tow is her boyfriend Slade. Yep, there are at least two of them in Bravoland now! He changed his college plans just so he could stay in Atlanta and be close to his love. The family is celebrating Ariana’s constant string of straight As as Brielle brags about being on the top ten list of most absences. With Kroy as a free agent, everyone is frazzled about the possibility of moving, and the older girls are hellbent on staying in Atlanta.
Brielle Biermann didn’t just inherit her mom’s looks, she also inherited her sense of humor. Kim Zolciak’s eldest daughter is taking a moment out of her family’s hectic Don’t Be Tardy promotional schedule to give her mom a little crap.
Everyone on Twitter has been posting the “Straight Outta” pics in promotion of the release of the movie “Straight Outta Compton.” Brielle took it one further and instead of posting their city of origin – she poked fun at her reproducing mom! Brielle stamped a family photo from her graduation carnival with a hilarious “Straight Outta Condoms.” Kim responded to the Tweet, “Soooo my daughter @briellebiermann thinks she is funny #IDidLaugh #AllInGoodFun #SenseOfHumor #KashWasSleeping.”