In case you haven’t heard or checked your DVR’s “to do” list for this weekend, there’s no new episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight. Perhaps Bravo is scrambling to edit the rest of the season? In any event, if you had you had your heart set on RHONJ, you can now head off to that Labor Day family BBQ instead. For the rest of us homebodies, we can tune in and watch Kim Zolciak “rough it” in the wild with the rest of the Biermann family on a new episode of Don’t Be Tardy.
Earlier this week Kim shared that she had never been camping before she went on this little adventure with Kroy that we’ll get to see tonight. “I have never ever been camping in my life! I didn’t do it as a kid, it wasn’t something we did. It was completely foreign to me. I just can’t grasp the concept of sleeping outside with insects when I have a beautiful home with a really comfy bed!”
On this week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, it’s a beautiful morning for the Biermann Family! Kim Zolciak lets us know that she loves the sound of the FedEx delivery truck (aka Santa Claus) as they can only mean posh, luxurious gifts waiting for her to devour. After ripping through her usual order of Louis Vuitton bags and what not, she opens up some odd items that Kroy has ordered. Solar showers and female urinals among them and oh, crap! Kim forgot she promised Kroy Biermann she would go camping in exchange for her high-end shopping spree earlier that month.
She tries to bail on the trip when she finds Kroy in the basement getting organized and ready to go for a fun time in the wilderness. Kroy wants her to unplug for a bit and detach from her hectic life and enjoy the great outdoors for a few days. Kim is all, “Ugh!! Fine!”.
But the Don’t Be Tardy star has another tip! “Here’s one of my secrets!! 310 Shake the hottest shake in hollywood right now, You should try it! You can get free samples and a shaker cup at www.try310shake.com,” Kim advertised on Instagram. “It’s a great way to control or lose weight and it’s super healthy for you!”
On this week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, we open to nanny Lana prancing around the house listening to motivational recordings about how to love yourself. Once she steps into the kitchen (aka the lion’s den), where the Biermanns are enjoying lunch, she is inundated with comments about how she needs to get her butt out there and start dating. Lana is nervous because her last date didn’t go over so well with the guy taking his teeth out and all. Dear lord, Kim Zolciak needs to get Lana on Instagram ASAP.
Later that week, they are outside decorating her home for an intimate baby shower (consisting of Kim’s family and her staff, a little weird, but I’ll roll with it) for her dear friend, Jen. They briefly flash pictures of Kim and Jen from back in the day and I hope Kim posts more of them on her Instagram/Twitter feed! Kim attempts to convince Jen to get her placenta into pills to prevent PPD and it’s a tough sell for Jen. However, when she finally delivers, she eats the placenta smoothie and yum! She thinks it’s delish. Does this actually work?
On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, the Biermanns are back from Spring Break and hanging out in the kitchen discussing Ariana’s obsession with a shirtless Justin Bieber and Brielle quietly announces that she has cheerleading tryouts coming up. Kroy Biermann practically spits out his Gatorade and calls her bluff. Brielle is serious though you guys! She wants to spruce up her resume for college. Forget debate team or serving food at a soup kitchen those are like soooo lame. Even Kim Zolciak eyeballs her like she is nuts.
Lana, the nanny overhears this nonsense and immediately busts out splits, a la Joe Guidice style to everyone’s applause. Newsflash, Brielle is as flexible as bamboo. Brielle is screwed. So screwed in fact, Kroy bets her 1,000 hours (did he say dollars? I hit rewind like 12 times and couldn’t tell if it was hours or dollars. I’m sticking with hours.) of work as his assistant if she quits. She agrees and game on!