In last night’s Game of Crowns, the ladies compete in the Ms. New England States pageant. Lynne Diamante plans her fifteenth wedding. Susanna Paliotta’s jumpsuit stylist gets caught in a hornets’ nest. And Vanassa Sebastian, like the mighty eye of Sauron, gathers her army of orcs and seeks one crown to rule them all! Bwahahahaha.
We begin 5 days before the Ms. New England States pageant, a charity event in which Lori-Ann Marchese, Leha Guilmette, Lynne, and Susanna will all compete. Susanna shops for a new gown in one of the tackiest shops I’ve ever seen. Her stylist Anthony helps her choose a dress that will “speak for her.” Susanna’s eldest daughter Victoria meets her at the shop and we learn that she survived a facial injury her senior year that resulted from a teen bullying incident. Victoria entered pageants after reconstructive surgery to rebuild her confidence. Good for her. Hope she stops competing before the world of Mrs. Pageants transform her into a steaming pile of poo like her mom and company.
In this week’s Game of Crowns, we revisit the fallout of Nick’s rampage at the Mrs. America pageant. Susanna Paliotta’s daughter shows us how to “LOL.” And there’s a lot of tea and bagels showing up. It’s sort of a snooze-fest, but it’s all in preparation for the upcoming Mrs. New England States pageant, which is right around the corner.
We begin at Shelley Carbone’s CT home where she is in the kitchen talking to her 3 kids and setting a good example for her children by…feeding them. And the dog. She reminds the kids that they need to finish up their homework so they can all head to Lynne Diamante’s tea party later.
It is bad news for Real Housewives of New Jersey and Game of Crowns. Real Housewives of New Jersey lost over 500K viewers, with 1.642 million total viewers (but only 994,000 viewers in the key demo) watching the holiday episode. The premiere of Game of Crowns did not garner 1.2 million viewers as previously reported. Actually, 666,000 watched the premiere and 516,000 watched this week‘s episode, and now Bravo bumped it out of its time slot next week in favor of Don’t Be Tardy.
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This episode of Game of Crowns can be summed up by the following statement: Nick the cop is crazy. After last week’s TMZ report of Nick biting Vanassa Sebastian’s husband’s ear not once, but twice, during a brawl at the “non Bravo sanctioned” GOC preview party, one can only watch Nick’s antics toward the ladies in last night’s episode with a tainted lens – otherwise known as totally accurate judgment. Oh, and besides getting screamed at and threatened by Leha Guilmette’s husband (and his father!), the ladies also competed in a Mrs. America pageant. So, let’s get to it.
We’re reminded that Lori-Ann Marchese and Leha are both in Arizona competing for Mrs. America while Shelley Carbone, Vanassa, and Susanna Paliotta are flying down to bet on them like racehorses support them. We pick up outside of the airport where Vanassa and Susanna’s matchy-matchy twinkie jumpsuits caused a major blowout, with both women screaming insults at each other. The trio manages to load their luggage into the car, get to the hotel, and choose appropriately distanced bedrooms from their respective frenemies despite the drama. Once there, Susanna takes Vanassa aside to “work through their issues.” Susanna claims she feels bad for Vanassa because Vanassa is the “typical alpha male” who needs to “pee on everything to mark her territory.” Ironic coming from the woman who went to great lengths to wear the same tacky jumpsuit as Vanassa with the express purpose of starting World War Who Cares.
The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and Real Housewives of New Jersey failed to draw a big crowd. The season 6 premiere attracted 2.14 million viewers overall. However, in the key demo, it was the lowest rated premiere episode in the history of the show. For comparison’s sake, season 5 premiered to 2.842 million and the season 5 average was 2.29 million.
However, it turns out neither Amber, nor her husband Jim Marchese, are strangers to drama! Their lives are definitely worthy of a reality TV show.
Amber’s husband Jim has quite an interesting past – and it turns out he’s definitely not one to duck and cover either! In 2002 Jim reported his former employer Cell Therapeutics to the federal government on the grounds of Medicare fraud.
Last night was the premiere of Bravo’s new pageant-based show Game of Crowns. I’m quite surprised we don’t have a Mrs. Pageant girl amongst our Housewives, but perhaps Bravo was saving all of them for this new gem of a show!
The party was held at Foxwoods Casino in CT last night to watch the premiere episode of the show, but the husbands were too busy biting and snapping at each other to let their wives bask in the glory. No word on what caused the incident but witnesses report that the husbands got into a raging brawl and Nick “went ballistic” and bit Brian’s ear TWICE! during the altercation until security stepped in.
It’s go time! In Game of Crowns’preview special, we were introduced to the cast of middle-aged, um, beauty queens who are in contention for this season’s Mrs. America pageant. Here’s the formula for this show: Toddlers and Tiaras, plus 40 years, minus any Trace of Youthful Innocence, plus Plastic Surgery = Game of Crowns! Let’s get started.
We open at Shelley Carbone’s Connecticut house, where she’s practicing saying the word, “prestigious” in the mirror while wearing a crown and sash. Fellow former competitor Vanassa Sebastian arrives, blinking and smiling as much as her frozen facial features allow. She reminds us that she is a certified nurse anesthetist and puts people to sleep for a living. Vanassa asks the viewers, “What other Mrs. America contestant can say that they pass gas for a living?” Groan.