You know, I often think that if we normal people would just ignore all things Kardashian, the family would slowly fade into obscurity. Of course, I realize the irony of me wishing this would happen while blogging about them. I also realize it is never going to happen if non-normal (read: wacky celebs and "news correspondents") people keep giving them the time of day.
That said, I have an announcement to make. I am now watching Good Morning America for the first time ever. I don't know why I waited this long as I think George Stephanopoulos is hot, and I adore Amy Robach. The TODAY Show is dead to me. I'm sorry, Al Roker. I'll always think highly of you, as I know the show stripped you of extra time with your best pal Ann Curry, but to Matt Lauer (I blame you for Ann!) and the rest of the morning show's cronies, I say, for shame. (P.S. I still heart you, Willie Geist!)
Last night on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo we were treated to more redneck living. It's sort of becoming an anthropology experiment at this point. This time we examined their diet in the wild. Don't these people have some pageants to do?
Anyway things begin with the local morning trek to mecca, aka the convenience store about 100 yards from their house. Mama, tired of the girls, ships them off to procure the daily necessities. Apparently Pumpkin often makes this journey styled in what the manager calls the "Bam Bam Look" – which means NO SHOES. Whatever happened to No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service?
Yes – the employees know them all by name as they're reg'lars at the slurpee machine. Pumpkin spends so many hours hanging out there Mama has to call her to come home. Wasn't this a Family Guy episode? Whaddya wanna bet Pumpkin manages that convenience store some day and then starts her own franchise. Dream big. Big as a pumpkin!
Who isn't addicted to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Not only has the show spawned some epic one-liners, I really think this cheese ball consuming, mud bogging, auction food buying, subtitle requiring family really does care about one another.
Now June Shannon, the forklift foot suffering matriarch, is speaking out to all her haters…and she even has a famous hater among them!
On last night's episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo the family celebrated Fourth of July southern redneck style. It included parties on the lake, gourmet meals, cabanas on the lawn, luxury shopping, chauffeured cars, and sunbathing and swimming. So relaxing. But before all that they had to get to pamperin'. Shhhh… It's A Wig!
Honey needs a new pageant "wiglet" or a semi-full piece to add accent to her hair so they go to some place called Shhh… It's A Wig. Which may just be the best thing any of these Boo Boos have ever heard. Well, except Chubs. She lays down on the floor for a nap. Snore… It's A Wig!
Although the wig they put on Honey looks a lot like a Dolly Parton gone electrocuted, the family decides to have fun with it and do a wig fashion show. The store clerk deems them very interesting while she hopes they leave before breaking anything and that her establishment gets plenty of business courtesy of TLC.
Oh, lawd. Well, it's happening… I'm being held hostage and forced to write recaps of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I oughta just call these recaps: Memories Of The Mountain State: The Reality TV Homecoming Of Mary McClelland.
So last night baby Kaitlyn nearly came out of Anna's biscuit before she was done bakin' or bacon depending on who you ask: Mama or Honey Boo Boo.
Seventeen-year-old Anna started having contractions at 34 weeks and said they made her vajayjay hurt. Girl, I have got to tell you – THAT is called pregnancy. So they called 9-1-1 and raced Anna to the hospital in an am'blance. Seriously. Did the pageant mobile not have gas in it? Did Honey put spray tan in the tank? Mama yells at her not to push.
At the hospital Anna is disappointed she is in pain and has stuff on her stomach. Well, stuff comin' out of yer coochie is what having a baby is like, Anna. It hurts a lot more comin out than it does goin' in, girl! The doctors send Anna home and she's on strict bedrest. No baby Kaitlyn yet – Mama is relieved because taking care of a premie is a lot of work. Honey Boo Boo pokes at Anna repeatedly to make sure she's not pushing out a bacon. All clear.
Whhheweee… y’alls gots somz prob-lems in the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo house! According to a report from the local police in McIntyre, Georgia they were called to the home over a suspected burglary. What on earth would they steal?! Mountain Dew? Pageant costumes? Honey Boo Boo hairs? Lawd only knows.
Apparently June and Alana Thompson returned home from their thrice daily trip to Kuntry Store for Nascar accessories to find the front door ajar. So they called the police.
RadarOnline confirmed with Chief Amerson of the McIntyre Police Department that the call was definitely made but said the police officer’s report was still pending. Luckily it does not appear that any hot rollers were harmed in the potential robbery.
The possible burglary did not deter Honey Boo Boo‘s appearance in this weekend’s Miss Sparkle and Shine pageant where I image she both sparkled and shined!