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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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Oh brother… last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, well… it was a hot, sticky, ridiculous, mess! 

Things begin with a sauced up and (spray on hair'd up)  Joe Gorga charging the brother-in-law who destroyed his life, Joe Giudice. These people are the living embodiment of a soap opera, only not as devious and calculating. Except for Melissa  So anyway, Poison charges at Juicy and unfortunately Juicy immediately drops him and begins punching him.

Poor Melissa Gorga leaps on top of Juicy to try and pry him away from her precious little husbanito. "Teresa, help your brother!" she screams. 

Teresa Giudice is gonna help alright - girlfriend is grabbing her purse, hightailing it out of there, and telling the producers to call the cops. Fire up that party bus cause mama is fleeing the coop! Just kidding, a panicked Teresa bellows to someone to call the cops. Doesn't Juicy have enough felonies?! Do not call the cops, but do get the mace! Or at least some Fabellini to subdue these people. 

Back inside fight club, it takes all of the remaining Gorgadice (and Wallpaper) family members to pry Juicy off of Poison. Or Poison off Juicy – I really couldn't tell who was up and who was down at that point, except Melissa, who was shrieking and scratching.

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Jacqueline Laurita Doesn’t Think She Needed To Be At The Retreat; Says Teresa And Melissa Both Have Fault In Situation

Jacqueline Laurita was the guest on tonight's episode of Watch What Happens Live, which followed the crazy episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (which Mary will be recapping for tomorrow's reading pleasure). 

Jacqueline sums up the issues and any hope between Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga, "That's why there's so much intense feelings because there's so much hurt there, but so much love there, too."

On Joe Giudice's autism comments on last week's episode of RHONJ: "I know a lot of people got hard on Joe for the autism comment but I know Joe and i think he was acknowledging the brains and the intelligence in a lot of children on the spectrum but I think he just has a lack of knowledge of how much time and attention and focus it is and work in terms of raising a child with special need. I think he just doesn't really know but he just saw them as very intelligent which is very true but you know I think he just didn't realize what he was saying." 

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Posh Spring 2013 Fashion Show

If Real Housewives of New Jersey has taught us anything about life it's that rock bottom is a deep, deep hole. Tonight Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga will get into an all out brawl over the seemingly never-ending family feud. 

Melissa Gorga calls this incident the families' "rock bottom" – and let's all hope it's upwards from here! "Welcome to rock bottom. We hit it hard in this episode, and it was NOT a soft landing, believe me," she begins in her Bravo Blog

Apparently the retreat was supposed to be relaxing and inviting, but since Teresa was there it was creepy and deranged. American Horror Story Asylum anyone?  "Joe and I were skeptical about the retreat from the start. I know that everyone wanted us to walk in, put on a happy face and say that everything would be okay, but that’s just not reality." Melissa describes.

"There have been too many times when we put a band-aid on our issues with Teresa [Giudice], and we would always fall back to the same negative place. We decided if we were going to go to this retreat, we weren’t going to be fake. We didn’t want to throw a blanket on the problems that were hurting our family."

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Caroline Manzo's marriage has been on the hotseat this season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Hey she needed a storyline now that she's not hating on Teresa Giuidice

After mentioning it in her book everyone on this here very earth seems to believe Albert Manzo likes his ladies on the side… like in the apartment he keeps at The Brownstone. With Caroline angling to move to a Hoboken apartment this season and Albert being perfectly content to never see her again stay where he is, Caroline is again being plagued by cheating rumors!

Caroline explains that sure, Albert may have cheated, but what if she cheated too?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey viewers are coming back in droves! A promo for a knock-down-drag-out fight will do that, I guess?! 

The Bravo heavy hitter has seen a drop in viewers since the premiere of season 5 which pulled in 2.84 million fans, but this week they managed to climb back up to a whopping 2.7 million (last week was just 2.1).  I can't wait to see what the numbers will be after the Joe vs Joe vs everyone brawl actually airs this coming Sunday!

Also doing well – much to the dismay of many – is Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  It's holding steady at 2.5 million again this week. 

Princesses Long Island hasn't been able to break that 1 million mark since its premiere episode, so it'll be interesting to see if Bravo goes forward with a season 2. 

Hollywood Exes proved that making the move to Sunday nights was a bad, bad, bad idea!  The show premiered its second season last week on Monday night to an impressive 1.7 million viewers tuning in.  However, they made the move to Sunday this week (the new permanent night) and lost almost half of their audience, plummeting to just 895,000! 

I've said it before – spread it out!  I'm so tired of the networks trying to cram SO many shows in on Sundays!  Give us some other shows to look forward to the rest of the week!  Hopefully VH1 will see the error in judgment and they'll announce a night change. 

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Teresa Giudice Book Signing At Books and Books Museum of Art / Fort Lauderdale

Dang someone is getting more chances than Lindsay Lohan and his name is Joe Giudice

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star's trial for identity fraud has been postponed yet again and this time the official re-set date is October 28th! Joe's trial was supposed to begin last week but his attorney was detained on a murder case that ran long so he petitioned to have the date pushed back. The prosecution, who is ready despite finding new evidence against Joe, was fine with the delay. 

Just a reminder, Joe is charged with "wrongfully using identifying information of another person, a second-degree crime carrying 10 years in prison, and forgery, a fourth-degree crime that carries an 18-month maximum prison sentence. He is currently free on $50,000 bail."

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teresa-giudice-wwhl

Teresa Giudice has been taking the high road in her recent Bravo blogs and promising she is so happy with her family right now after they have finally worked through their issues.

However after the Real Housewives of New Jersey stars went on a tumultuous retreat on this week's episode, Teresa is dropping the facade and speaking out about Jacqueline Laurita's meddling and lying. And she's also calling out Melissa Gorga for interfering in her relationship with her brother and for being a two-faced, smack-talking, hypocrite. Let 'er rip, Tre! 

"I have no idea why some of my own family members said the things they did on this episode. It's beyond hurtful. Kids are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine. Marriages are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine," Teresa begins. "As much as Melissa likes to talk to everyone about me trying to break up her marriage, I have never, ever done that and I never would."

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6th Annual Rescue Our Angels Event

It's kind of tragic to think what reality television can do to a friendship.  Think back to a long, long (longlonglonglonglong) time ago when Real Housewives of New Jersey's Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa Giudice were friends.  It seems like it was a different century! 

Now, the women bring out the worst in each other (how cringe-worthy was it last week when Jacq was screeching on the phone in the middle of that boutique?), and the claws come out both on the show and on social media.  

This week in her Bravo blog, Jacqueline addresses why she didn't check herself into that insane asylum go on that retreat and responds to Joe Guidice's comments about autism not being a bad disease since some sufferers end up being scientists.  That Joe–he's got a way with words, doesn't he? 

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