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Keeping up with the Kardashians

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Just call them the queens of tease.  Ever since the birth of Kim Kardashian's daughter, North, was born in June, the family has let speculation over baby photos, first appearances and the like run wild. 

The madness started when photos of North (still not convinced that this is the name they're sticking with) hit the internet, with the family quickly denying that they were the real photos. They claimed Kim sent out several "fake" pics to see which of her friends would betray her and try to sell them.  Why send them at all, then? Just don't let anyone see her until your million dollar deal is done. 

Next we heard rumblings that North would make her debut on Kris Jenner's new talk show, a rumor Kris played coy with for weeks.  On the premiere of the show she faked out the viewers by bringing a swaddled infant on set at the end of the show, finally revealing that it was NOT granddaughter North, but the child of a staff member. 

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sheree-fletcher

The viewer numbers for Sunday – reality TV's busiest night – are in! 

Good news: Keeping up with the Kardashians ruled the night. (Obviously, I mean good news for them, not us!)  2.83 million people (up from 2.6) tuned in to see the Kim and Kompany in Greece.  And Hollywood Exes finally saw an increase!  The show premiered to 1.7 million viewers, fell to 723,000 its third week, and came back with 957,000 this week

Decent news: Sister Wives attracted 1.97 million viewers. Sure, that's down from its premiere, but kudos for them for having any viewers at all. (ICK. I can't STAND that guy!) 

Bad news: Real Housewives of New Jersey fans came in droves to see the Joes fight (2.7 and 2.83 million the past two weeks) but fell to 2.48 now that the drama is over. I'm curious to see if Joe and  Teresa Giudice's real time legal issues  affect RHONJ's ratings.  And only 798,000  regretful  viewers cared to watch Ashlee's meltdown on Princesses: Long Island.

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Kim Kardashian at LAX

You know that scene in Ghost when Whoopi Goldberg's character looks at Demi Moore and says, "Molly.  You in danger, girl"?  I picture something like that happening when I think of the recent Kardashian drama…only in my head, Kim Kardashian is Molly and the part of Oda Mae Brown is played by auto-tuned Jonathan Cheban.  Why?  Because Kim was in danger earlier this week!

A foolish paparazzo tried to sneak onto Kris Jenner's property Monday, and the mother-daughter duo retaliated in a flurry of cell phone footage and hashtags.  Hashtags?  I hope she has a permit for those!

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Kris Jenner Extra

It hasn't been a good week for those closest to Kim Kardashian, that's for sure.  Not only has her mother Kris Jenner's talk show trial run been universally panned, her beau Kanye West is scuffling with paps at the airport.  Good times!

First up, New York Post columnist Linda Stassi is claiming that Kris has been trying to bribe her for better reviews after writing that the pimp momager has as much business helming a talk show as her "talentless daughter had for hosting a talent show."  Ouch.

According to Radar, Linda claims her "first bribe" arrived on Thursday in the form of a dozen gourmet cupcakes and a sterling silver Tiffany pen worth $325.  Hey Kris!  Although I haven't seen it, I'll happily write a sweet little review of your show for the right price!  ;)

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Pregnant Kim Kardashian and Kanye West strolling in Paris

It can only be likened to a national security breach…baby North West may have been photographed.  Or not.  It may have been a stand-in baby. Either way, it's a big deal.  {Yawn}  

Seriously, if real pictures of the newborn have leaked, pimp(grand)momager Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian could be out of a hefty payday.  Hmmm…maybe Kanye West is the true mastermind behind all of this.  How brilliant!

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Real Housewives of New Jersey viewers are coming back in droves! A promo for a knock-down-drag-out fight will do that, I guess?! 

The Bravo heavy hitter has seen a drop in viewers since the premiere of season 5 which pulled in 2.84 million fans, but this week they managed to climb back up to a whopping 2.7 million (last week was just 2.1).  I can't wait to see what the numbers will be after the Joe vs Joe vs everyone brawl actually airs this coming Sunday!

Also doing well – much to the dismay of many – is Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  It's holding steady at 2.5 million again this week. 

Princesses Long Island hasn't been able to break that 1 million mark since its premiere episode, so it'll be interesting to see if Bravo goes forward with a season 2. 

Hollywood Exes proved that making the move to Sunday nights was a bad, bad, bad idea!  The show premiered its second season last week on Monday night to an impressive 1.7 million viewers tuning in.  However, they made the move to Sunday this week (the new permanent night) and lost almost half of their audience, plummeting to just 895,000! 

I've said it before – spread it out!  I'm so tired of the networks trying to cram SO many shows in on Sundays!  Give us some other shows to look forward to the rest of the week!  Hopefully VH1 will see the error in judgment and they'll announce a night change. 

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kris jenner twitter

Holy majoley.  Nothing about the Kardashian/Jenner krowd shocks me anymore.  With Kris Jenner's talk show hitting special markets this week for a test run, you had to know she would do something ridiculous in a lame ratings boost.  Of course, I'm not the only one who thinks that Kris is hella annoying.  Robert Kardashian's ex-wife has filed counterclaims in the lawsuit waged against her by the Kardashians, and things are bound to get ugly.

Page Six shares that Kris is already using her granddaughter North as a ploy to get attention.  The pimp momager, whose show talk show debuted yesterday, teased about a special guest star when she posted a photo on Twitter and Facebook of herself cradling a baby.  The caption?  "You never know who will stop by our show today! #WatchKris"  You know Kanye West was not informed of this madness!

The show, which premiered on Fox affiliates in Los Angeles, New York, Minneapolis, Charlotte, Phoenix, and Dallas, did not feature any famous newborns with directional names.  Kris told the bummed audience, "I couldn't do that to Kim.  That would be kidnapping," adding that Kim would share Nori "on her own time."  However, Kris did showcase a baby…that belonged to her stylist Monica.  Low, Kris.  Low.

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rhonj-stripping

Sunday night ratings round up time! Let's see what y'all were lending your viewership to!

We, of course, were parked squarely in front of Real Housewives of New Jersey to see the big Melissa Gorga cheating allegation. And if you're anything like us you turned off your TV right after to avoid Princesses: Long Island

Unfortunately for Bravo, no one much cared about Melissa's ex-bridesmaid's vendetta or Teresa Giudice's tacit agreement that maybe, possibly, perhaps Melissa never left the Lookers lifestyle cheated! Ratings remained steady from last week, bringing in 2.1 million viewers again. I predict a whole lot more of you will be tuning in to see the big Joew vs Joew brawl; aka Poison Vs. Jr. Mafia Joew: Riot At The Retreat. 

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