File this under things I never want Santa to put under my tree.
Kim Kardashian took to Instagram tonight to "show off" her Christmas gift from fiancee Kanye West. It seems Kanye commissioned artist George Condo to customize an Hermes Birkin bag for Kimmie Kakes with a nude painting. And the result was…uh..um..yeah. You look and tell us.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE KIM'S GIFT
As if the amount of peanut brittle I've eaten today isn't gag-worthy enough, Kris Jenner swoops in to ruin my sugar high with her talk of Kimye's wedding, how in love Yeezus is with daughter Kim Kardashian, and how great things are with Bruce post-separation. It makes me kind of want to poke myself in the eye.
It will come as no surprise that Kim isn't going to tone it down for wedding number three to Kanye West. Shocker! After her million dollar event for a marriage that lasted less than three months, that sounds reasonable enough.
One person who is relieved is the ever-publicity seekingKris Jenner, who is probably already figuring out a way to spin this into another reality show, or possibly a Khloe Is Single spinoff! Maybe Khloe could be the next Bachelorette!
Despite the bad news, Khloe is doing fine according to Kris. "Khloé really is so great. She's strong and…the good news is that she's busy and you know, keeps her real busy. But she's good," the Keeping Up With The Kardashians pimpmomager tells E! News.
Do you have a ten-year plan? I do, and it involves a bestselling novel turned blockbuster movie starring Ryan Gosling…and a relationship with Ryan Gosling. Hey girl, it could happen!
Kim Kardashian also has hopes for where her life will be in a decade. Fear not, it will likely still be playing out in front of our eyes as I can't imagine this family has any plans to leave E! anytime soon. Kim recently revealed that she'd like to have two more children with Kanye West. Of course, the family will need an East and a South as siblings for baby North.
Is there trouble in the ultimate fame whoring reality paradise? It seems that someone needs to learn how to behave. Of course, by "behave" I mean that someone needs to stop comparing his creative genius to that of Steve Jobs and the difficulty of his stage performance to that of the effort men and women put forth while defending our country. Kanye West…a true gem.
Unfortunately for Kim Kardashian, pimp momager Kris Jenner is getting very tired her daughter's fiance's negative portrayal in the media. She's ready for the tiny rapping to stop with his ridiculous rants and get on board with the gravy train known as her family's brand.
Khloe and Lamar have been married for four years and reportedly have an iron clad pre-nup.which reportedly entitles Khloe to remain the sole beneficiary of a $10 million life insurance policy, she keeps their $4 million home, and may be entitled to a "small" amount of spousal support based on the length of their marriage, but TMZ says she's not requesting any. But the details are all speculation at this point.
Khloe and Lamar married after just one month of dating, but their marriage was plagued with cheating rumors and allegations of drug use. Lamar moved out of their home back in August..
TELL US – ARE YOU SHOCKED THAT THESE TWO COULDN'T WORK IT OUT?
Give it a rest, dude. Seriously, just give it a rest. After Kourtney Kardashian released a paternity test revealing that LordScott Disick was, in fact, the biological father of her oldest child, the model who claims he's Mason's dad won't leave it alone. Why in the world anyone would try to be be related to the Kardashian krew is so far beyond me!
Michael Girgenti claims that he bedded the oldest Kardashian sister after meeting at a photo shoot right around the time she would have gotten pregnant with the now four-year-old Mason. Despite the fact that there's a little thing called a paternity test in the mix, Michael also failed a lie detector test back in August. The polygraph noted deceptive behavior when Michael answered affirmatively that he and Kourtney had sex.
As a huge Liz Taylor fan, I am disgusted that the Keeping Up With The Kardashians famewhore thinks she comes anywhere close. But yeah, I'm sure Kanye will be writing a new rap about how Kim is the greatest living legend of our time in about … oh now!