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Keeping up with the Kardashians

Oh, Kardashians… seriously? Anyway, the first family of K has been busy, busy, busy self-promoting again! In the latest, the extremely pregnant Kourtney Kardashian – who is due any day now – took some time away from nesting and baby cooking to talk about why she still won’t marry her longtime boyfriend and two-time baby daddy Scott Disick.

Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kourtney spilled her guts, giving yet another excuse for why she won’t walk down the aisle. Personally I think she’s holding out until the price is right!

“First of all, I have realized that I have major commitment problems during this pregnancy,” the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star confessed. “I’m really claustrophobic, and all my issues — and I have a lot of them — they all stem from this thing. I can’t commit to anything . . but I love Scott, and he is my partner.”

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Oh good gravy!   Those Kardashians will never go gently into that good night, will they?  I guess I have to take some of the blame for still writing about them, but what can I do?  (Stop writing about them, I hear you)  Perhaps today I’ll write about the authority on all things love-related…at least in Bravolebrity world.

Patti Stanger, everyone’s favorite Millionaire Matchmaker, recently spoke with HollywoodLife.com about the whole Kimye phenomenon.  Of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s fauxmance romance she exclaims, “This is a good, good fit for her and I hope that Kris [Jenner], her mother, gives the blessing because I think they’ll end up getting married. I really do. I think he has known the family long enough to know what the problems are. I love it. KK babies all the way! I think that they both made a mistake at one point in their life. They understand each other and they were friends first. Friends are the best foundation for a really good marriage.”

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There’s lots going on in the Krazy Kardashian universe this weekend. On Thursday Bruce Jenner‘s son Brandon got married in Hawaii and while Kendall, Kylie, Brody, and Kris Jenner all flew out for the party, none of the Kardashian side of the family bothered to show up. Kendall and Kylie served as bridesmaids!

Instead they sent out their congrats the modern way…via social media. Khloe posted the following well-wishes to her blog Thursday morning: “I just wanted to send a HUGE congratulations and so much love to my brother Brandon and his fiancé/soon-to-be wife Leah. Wishing you both all the happiness in the world!” Kim and Kourtney posted similar messages to their Twitter and blogs.

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So, let’s talk about Keeping Up With Kardashians… Is anybody watching that? I must confess I tuned in and saw, well, all the episodes of this season. Not because I was forced, but because I was curious. Albeit morbidly so. Which is sort of like eating an entire Chipotle burrito just to see if I can do it. Never a good idea, but it never stops me.

First of all, the editing in this show is so bad and non-sequential, but they don’t seem to care and they don’t bother trying to hide it. They also bilk a storyline for all it’s worth; going overboard to berate you with a point. And most annoyingly, each show has a little moralistic message attached to the end like some sort of totally trashy and lowbrow Aesop’s Fables with spray tans, false eyelashes, and a lot of too tight pants.

Yeah, so about those Kardashians. Is Kris Jenner psychotic? Bruce Jenner seems to think so! Their marital drama – which may be fabricated, but is likely not – is kinda dominating this season so far. In fact Bruce is getting some major airtime for once. He’s working hard for his share of that $40M.

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Kim Kardashian sure does move fast – she married Kris Humphries after knowing him less than a year, which probably explains why she divorced him after three months of marriage. Well, now after dating Kanye West a scant couple of months the couple is allegedly planning to move in together! Yep, welcome to the house that Kimye built.

According to Life & Style the newly nickname minted couple who recently did London are looking for a lovenest together. “They are preparing to move in together, it’s moving that quick,” an insider reveals. “If things continue at the speed they’re going, Kim and Kanye will rent a new house together. They wouldn’t buy yet.”

The magazine claims that Kim is putting her fantastic LA home on the market and moving her entire collection of personal photos – featuring herself of course. “Kim would be putting a lot of her stuff in storage. Her bathmat is KK-embroidered and that’s not changing. She’s OCD-immaculate and so is Kanye, so to have both of their items would create problems.” Oh, well… this could get good! I suggest Jeff Lewis stage an Interior Therapy.

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It seemed like everyone on the East Coast this weekend dedicated their Memorial Day to grilling meats and seeing Beyonce in Atlantic City. Kim Kardashian, never one to shy from a bikini photo op, made it in, to make a few dollars at a random hotel pool, and also actually saw the concert. She used her Kanye West connection and got backstage and hung out with the queen.

Some random PR person from the Kardashian camp, aka a random ‘source’ tells US Weekly that the girls get along just fine: “Kim thought it was such a great show. “There’s always some random rumors there is tension between them and there totally isn’t! Kim had so much fun.”

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Well, all irony is not lost folks! Kim Kardashian, known for her relationship incompetence and failed 72-day-marriage, will be showing off her acting chops on Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva as somewhat of a relationship expert!

The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star will be dispensing relationship advice as juice bar worker Nikki LePree, who is doling out more than smoothies! Yep, seriously. I must say, Kim has had more plastic surgery than any juice bar employee I’ve ever seen!

Interestingly Kim’s advice rings very true to something I could see Kim, herself, doing! Kim tells struggling model and hopelessly in love Stacy to be assertive and be careful with her underwear. “Now is the time to make bold moves,” Kim’s character advises. “And don’t leave anything on the table. Well, undergarments optional!” Practicing what she preaches right there!

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So, this whole Kanye West / Kim Kardashian relationship… Not for publicity, right? Anywho, the ‘ye part of Kimye was very busy on twitter yesterday. Coincidentally the same day Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs, of course. Kanye decided to post some pictures of the couple in sexy poses and one of Kim in a low-cut dress.

He also posted one of Kim exiting his car, titling it “rare.” I’m not sure if he was referring to the car, his girlfriend, or the fact that he let her drive it to attract the attention of the paparazzi. You can see the scintillating Kimye pics below.

In other Kardashian news, Kim had a not so superb experience on British Airways. Kim seems to believe her luggage was hacked! Kim took to complaining to her ‘friends’ aka her zillions of Twitter followers to express her displeasure.”What happened to the days when you could lock your bags! We need to get back to that. There’s no sense of security & no trust!” she tweeted.

“Very disappointed in British Airways for opening my luggage & taking some special items of mine!Some things are sentimental &not replaceable,” she added. Yikes! I smell another Kardashian lawsuit! What on earth do you suppose anyone would want from Kim’s luggage? Was Kanye hiding in there?

[Photo Credit: WENN.com]

KIMYE PICS: CUTE OR TOO PERSONAL? WHAT DO YOU THINK BRITISH AIRWAYS WANTED FROM KIM’S LUGGAGE?

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