The Kardashian family gained a new member this weekend! Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disickwelcomed their second child, a baby girl that they named Penelope Scotland Disick.
Kourtney gave birth to Penelope on Sunday morning and shared with the media, “Scott and I are overjoyed to welcome our precious angel Penelope Scotland Disick into our lives. We are forever blessed. Mommy and baby are resting comfortably.”
What don’t those Kardashians do? They famewhore, they have babies, they say their vows for millions of dollars. Thankfully today’s Kardashian story is actually about their half-sisters, the Jenners.
I really, truly do like to think that Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jennerare placed in this reality world due to default because of the woman who birthed them. I honestly think both of these girls have great heads on their shoulders, despite being raised in the spotlight. If nothing else their upbringing has taught them two things–how to be business savvy and how to avoid the pitfalls of their older sisters. Why am I writing this diatribe? Simple really…because Kendall and Kylie are writing too! In fact, the teen sisters are penning a sci-fi fantasy novel!
The classiest (bwhahaha!) family on television is up to more antics. First up the never-ending Kris Humphries vs. Kim Kardashian divorce saga continues to rage on.
These two are taking their vitriol out on others by subpoenaing every single person the other one has ever met; from ex-girlfriends, to former hookups, to the clerk at the drugstore where Kim bought condoms and lip gloss (OK, I added that last part).
You know, Kim met the President – is he next on the list? Anyway, anyone remember Kim’s former publicist Jonathan Jaxson? You know, the famewhore one who was threatening to write a Kardashinan tell-all and claimed that the engagement ring Kim was sporting was actually purchased by her while she was dating Reggie Bush? He also said her wedding was a publicity stunt.
It seems like it’s finally happening for Kimmy Kakes. She has arrived. After months of trying, she is friends with Beyonce…or Bey as I’m sure Kimmie calls her. Beyonce has broken down and now actually likes Kim. I guess you could say she (metaphorically) put a ring on it. She likes her. She really, really likes her.
The duo was spotted this weekend watching their loves perform their Watch the Throne concert in Birmingham, England. The girls even, according to an US Weeklysource, venturing into the mosh pit. All this friendliness is new for the ladies. While Kim’s boyfriend Kanye West and Beyonce’s husband Jay-Z are close friends, Kim has allegedly been getting the cold shoulder from Beyonce for a while. An insider recently told The Sun, “The girls have never really seen eye-to-eye. It’s a shame because Jay-Z and Kanye are so close. Beyonce has always viewed Kim as a reality TV star who’s not earned her fortune with a specific talent.”
If Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries keep going the way they’re going, this is going to be the divorce trial to end all divorce trials. Of course, I think that is the mantra of the Kardashian Klan…go big or go home, right? Or is it go to your big home? Either way. It’s shaping up to be quite the legal battle. I don’t know about y’all but I am crossing my fingers for a televised trial.
The latest news is pretty hilarious if you ask me. Apparently, according to RadarOnline.com, Kris’ legal team never had any plans to bring up the fact that Kim moved on so quickly with Kanye West. Now I don’t know the laws in California (so someone please help me out in the comments section), but I find that hard to believe. If it were the state where I live, Kim would be flat out cheating on him as their divorce isn’t final yet. How could you not bring that up in your legal argument?
The increasingly vitriolic divorce between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries will seemingly never end. Oh, well – at least it’s interesting as they drag each other through the mud with ever-escalating crazy!
In the latest Kris is apparently accusingKris Jenner and Kim of staging her sex tape to make her famous. Hot on the heels of Kim telling Oprah that she was embarrassed of the tape and had no intention of it entering the public eye all while admitting it benefited her career, Kris H is allegedly told possible ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj that the Kardashians staged the whole thing.
In text messages Kris allegedly sent to Myla (according to her!) shortly after his divorce – which Kim is hoping to release to the public – Kris reportedly trashed the K-fam and accused Kris J of directing Kim in her sex tape! And, even worse, demanding Kim re-shoot scenes because it didn’t make her look attractive enough! Ok, ew to the millionth power.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard but the Kardashian family recently sat down to talk to Oprah about everything Kardashian. Oprah’s ratings are suffering so we must suffer through the news that’s hardly news but now it’s breaking news because it’s coming from Oprah. I hope you’ve all learned a valuable lesson here – watch the OWN Network or we get Kardashians: Rinse and Repeat. I refuse to speculate on who the next punishment could be.
Since the interview was so deep, it brings us all the way back to the early years of the Kardashian empire, namely Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. How does Kim Kardashian‘s new beau Kanye West feel about the recent buzz over Kim’s naked romp with Ray J? Dude, he isn’t trippin’ on it. An insider tells Hollywood Life, “Kim f*%#ed on tape and became an international icon and made [many] millions. So to me, she’s gangsta. These other girls got the game [messed] up, not Kim, and I think that’s why Kanye is so drawn to her and supports her and doesn’t give a [crap] about her past. He likes her for her and respects the fact she came up in the game.” That’s sweet. Haters are going to hate no matter what, but the source warns us, “Everyone’s hate on her and [lots of] people hate on Kanye too. You think they care, really? Jealousy and envy fuels people like them. It only makes them stronger.” Noted.
So, it’s been established that Kanye isn’t going to dwell on Kim’s past or anything that was discussed in the interview. What about her soon-to-be (maybe even in this decade) ex-husband Kris Humphries? Is there anything in the interview that could help his case? His lawyers sure think so!
As if the Kardashian family isn’t overexposed enough, the Queen of Talk, Oprah Winfrey herself, felt compelled to give them yet another platform from which to spew their ridiculousness. Thanks a heap, O. Couldn’t you just stick to book clubs and giveaways? UsWeekly reports on the interview’s highlights.
Questioning Kim about her blink-and-you-missed-it wedding to Kris Humphries and career catapulting sex tape with Ray J, the reality mogul oh so eloquently replies, “I’ve obviously made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime, but I’m not the type to sit and beat myself up over it. If a real lesson was learned, I’m so okay with having experienced that.”
CAUTION! Before you read what comes next you may want to arm yourself with some sort of trash receptacle or barf bag. Don’t say you weren’t warned.