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Keeping up with the Kardashians

Kourtney, Kim, Khloe Kardashian Dash Store Miami Opening

If the Kardashian girls are famous for anything, it’s for famewhoring and a golden shower sex tape their strong work ethic and the sense of power they try to instill in other women. At the forefront of their empowerment movement is mom Kris Jenner, and, according to Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian, she’s been their best role model as a business woman.

The sisters will slap their names on anything that stands still long enough, be it dolls, clothing, or make-up. They are entrepreneurs, y’all. Kim doesn’t even care much about the reality shows as they are just a marketing vessel for the Kardashian brand. She’s a damn evil genius, isn’t she?

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kuwtk-recaps (1)

On last night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians things begin at Kris Jenner's house with the ever adorable Mason announcing he is going to kick his Aunty KoKo's butt at sword fighting. Can I just say, if this show had more Mason and less kartrashian fakeness and orchestrated storylines I think this show would become more likeable. Mason is adorable and the family is equally adorable when they are with him.

Bruce Jenner, Scott Disick and Mason go on a man date. Bruce is still enjoying his hot and steamy love affair with Malibu. I don't think it's Malibu so much as it is being free from Kris Jenner. Scott wants to watch Bruce fly one of his toy helicopters. Bruce believes you shouldn't be a spectator in life and that you learn more from doing. Scott is all for it. #WordsOfWisdomByBruce

On a different note, Bruce asks Scott how he is doing since the sudden and tragic loss of both his parents. Scott reveals he can't believe this is his life now and he sometimes forgets they are gone. He even tries to call them sometimes without realizing no one will ever answer. My heart breaks for Scott. I hope Scott is comfortable with talking about his feelings on camera and this isn't the Kardashians abusing a storyline, because his pain and sadness is raw and real. To make a bad scene worse, Bruce tells Scott he is kind of stuck with them – family wise.

Rob Kardashian

When pictures of Rob Kardashian allegedly using the drugs Sizzurp and weed were obtained and posted by TMZ last week, it was not clear how or from who the news site had gotten their hands on the photos.

But, according to new reports, Rob Kardashian knows exactly who leaked the drug-fueled photos. His costars on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, his own family.

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Ladies of London

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and every show but Ladies of London saw a decrease in viewership this week. On Sunday, a teen-focused episode of Sister Wives garnered 1.246 million, and a bad trip to Vienna on Keeping Up with Kardashians managed 2.061 million. Also, only 812,000 fans bothered to watch Married to Medicine without a Kandi's Wedding lead-in, which is less than half of the prior week's audience. Ouch. 

On Monday, Ladies of London saw its second highest audience with 962,000 tuning in to see the Mapperton estate, 3.797 million sat through Joseline and Stevie's drama on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and Shannon and David in Puerto Vallarta on​ Real Housewives of Orange County attracted 1.770 million. On Tuesday, 1.15 million suffered through Kristen and Heather's bickering on Real Housewives of New York.

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kim kardashian headshot

Say whatever you want about pimpmomager Kris Jenner, but the lady knows how to make that money! Case in point – her daughter Kim Kardashian reportedly earned $28 million dollars in 2013!

With ratings for her reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians sinking, her fashions universally mocked, and her relationship (and marriage) to Kanye West constantly reviled, it's impossible to imagine how Kim earned that chunk of change! Are sex tape royalties that good?! Apparently not, but showing up places sure is. 

The bulk of Kim's earnings come, not from endorsements or TV appearances, but sadly from appearances – that is showing up at a club, a store or restaurant opening, parties, or events.

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keeping up with the kardashians season 9

Sunday's night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was very different from the normal bad acting and over the top orchestrated storylines..or was it? Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner traveled to Vienna and had the holiday from hell, but on a happier note we heard baby North giggling & even saw the back of her head at one point! Also in a completely shocking turn of events, Khloe Kardashian did not say vagina once. I'm serious. She has outgrown it, and has moved on to repeatedly saying c*ck.. this girl must have Tourette's.  

Things kick off with Kim negotiating wedding details with Mason and a silent Penelope. Kim decides to bore her sisters to tears upgrade from infants and starts to talk weddings with her sisters. So far on the Kardashian-West circus wedding there are whispers of Parisian churches, luxurious chateaus and three costume changes. I think she has a ‘what would Elizabeth Taylor do’ type of theme – opulent, extravagant and over the top. I mean she is like Elizabeth Jr., already on to her third marriage! The real shocker was that Kim wants to wear all white; something tells me after three marriages it's time to retire the all-white gown. Isn't that customary? #EmilyPost

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kim kardashian dark blue dress

It was another busy weekend for the Kardashian-Jenner clan.  The family celebrated Khloe Kardashian's 30th birthday, hunted for $20 million apartments in NYC for Kim Kardashian and of course filmed it all for their reality show and showed off some interesting fashions for the cameras. 

Khloe turned 30 and celebrated with two birthday parties.  At the first soiree, her boyfriend-but-not-boyfriend French Montana gifted her with jewelry (a ring and two sets of grillz) and a Jeep Sahara, totaling over $100,000.  The second party was held aboard a yacht.

In between Khloe's two birthday bashes, Kim and her family went apartment hunting in NYC.  Kim is reportedly looking for a $20+ million dollar home with more privacy.  <insert reality camera joke here>

kandi celebrates her bachelorette party

There isn't much to report on this week's reality TV viewer numbers. The shows either remained steady or gained a handful of viewers – no big losses, which is good, because most of these shows can't afford to lose any fans. On Sunday, Kandi's Wedding saw a season high with 2.557 million tuning in to see Kandi's bachelorette party, and Married to Medicine garnered 1.706 million viewers.

Also, a double dose of Sister Wives averaged 1.5 million fans, and a crap-filled episode (literally and figuratively) of Keeping Up with the Kardashians managed 2.194 million viewers.

On Monday, a hat party on Ladies of London attracted 758,000 viewers, and 1.864 million watched Shannon grill Heather on Real Housewives of Orange County. As always, Love & Hip Hop Atlanta ruled the night, with 3.832 million tuning in to see Benzino learn of his mother's passing. On Tuesday, 1.268 million fans sat through non-stop whining on Real Housewives of New York.

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