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Keeping up with the Kardashians

kris jenner releases cookbook

There is always another Kardashian product to be hawked!

Kris Jenner, the pimpmomager matriarch of America’s first family of famewhore is now releasing a family kookbook!  In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites will hit shelves in October and will show you how you can eat to get that famous Kardashian derriere! 

“I finally got so tired of sharing my recipes one-by-one with everybody that asked, that it just made sense to do a book and put it all together,” Kris explained. I’ve only seen Kris cook once on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but I’m sure the family’s favorite restaurants are donating some recipes. Seriously – whenever they are eating on the show it’s takeout or in restaurants or complete crap convenience food (like Kim always eating Ramen Noodles!).

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Beyond Fashion Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

Kanye West is the male version of Farrah Abraham. Anytime either Kanye or Farrah give an interview, I get a headache trying to make sense of it! I sit and stare at the words, hoping they will unscramble themselves, but they never do.

Kanye talked to GQ shortly after his wedding. The result is what I have come to expect from Kanye, scrambled nonsense yet strangely entertaining.

Kanye compared his new wife, Kim Kardashian, to a dinosaur. Because she’s “cool” and “rarely seen” just like a dinosaur. Um, rarely?! First, when was the last time Kanye saw a dinosaur? Second, Kim can be seen 24/7 via Instagram.

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 Kris Jenner Zipline

On last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians the Kardashian Klan invaded Thailand for a family vacation. Our condolences go out to Thailand. Kim Kardashian decides to torture gift Kanye West with a book of selfies. Rob Kardashian goes MIA and Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner bicker like an old married couple, that is no longer married. Go figure.

Things kick off at Rob’s apartment. Khloe Kardashian is homeless y’all. I find it hard to believe anyone with an estimated net worth of $18 million could be homeless. Not to mention her mother has a home the size of Disneyland and her step father offered her to crash at his Malibu mansion just last episode. Nice try Khloe, but you my dear are not homeless and I don’t expect to see you at the soup kitchen anytime soon. Khloe and Rob’s relationship is borderline incestuous. Actually it’s not even borderline, it just is. Rob gifts Khloe with sex toys as a welcome present and Khloe announces she will wear lingerie for him. Khloe admits their relationship is like a married couple. I can’t believe I’m going to say this – I’m actually looking forward to Kim taking selfies.

kimye-north-party

So, the Kardashians have been quiet lately, haven’t they? Yeah, right! If Kim and krew could go a day without gracing every form of media, I may be concerned for their well-being–or the well-being of North West, although Kanye West already has that covered. More on that in a bit…

#IJustCan’t #hashtag #NoDash Someone is pranking the Hamptons, and this time it’s not someone being followed around by camera crews. Residents of the upscale beach community have been up at arms since Kourtney Kardashian, Lord Douchebag Disick, and family moved in along with sister Khloe for yet another Keeping up with the Kardashians spin-off. Now, someone’s gone a bit Banksey with their attempts to rid the town of the show.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey season premiere

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and Real Housewives of New Jersey failed to draw a big crowd. The season 6 premiere attracted 2.14 million viewers overall. However, in the key demo, it was the lowest rated premiere episode in the history of the show. For comparison’s sake, season 5 premiered to 2.842 million and the season 5 average was 2.29 million.

Also on Sunday, 2.3 million watched Khloe move on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, 1.212 million tuned in to see the series premiere of Game of Crowns, and 1.64 million, a season high, watched the Browns meet the Richards on Sister Wives. On Monday, Lizzie’s disastrous dinner party on Real Housewives of Orange County garnered 1.725 million, Mimi’s sex tape release on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta attracted 3.88 million, and Noelle’s pot stirring on Ladies of London logged 782,000 viewers.

As for the rest of the week, the Married to Medicine reunion shows averaged 1.14 million viewers, 2.2 million welcomed back Teen Mom 2, 1.131 million tuned in to see Carole’s birthday party on Real Housewives of New York, and 1.122 million watched the season premiere of Don’t Be Tardy. The series premiere of LeAnn & Eddie on VH1 didn’t make the Top 100 Cable Broadcasts list, however, VH1′s Dating Naked made the list with 826,000 viewers. So I think it’s safe to assume LeAnn & Eddie flopped.

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kim kardashian black lace dress

Kim Kardashian is doing what she does best: going on vacation and posting selfies of it!

The Keeping Up With Kardashian star is again atJoe Francis‘ Puerto Vallarta retreat to vacation with friends, but without husband Kanye West

Blessedly Kim does have daughter North with her, although North seems to be spending most of her time with the nanny while Kim suns herself and photoshops bikini selfies. Yes, Kim, we know you photoshop your twit-pics

Below are photos of Kim doing some topless tanning in an itty-bitty-butt-implant-baring yellow bikini. Isn’t tanning counter-intuitive to all the botox and fillers? 

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brody jenner reggie bush wedding instagram 1

This is rich. In fact, it’s amazing. Not only does it involve one of the hottest (in my opinion at least) reality stars, he’s making quite a statement. Brody Jenner, thank you for making my day. 

Remember when Kim Kardashian and Kanye West married in a ridiculous spectacle complete with one of the Pinkett-Smith children dressed in a Batman costume? Of course you do, it wasn’t even 72 days ago! Well, think back to who wasn’t famewhoring with Keeping up with the Kardashians during the country hopping shindig. No, I’m not talking about Rob Kardashian being a no-show. I’m talking about Brody’s dreamy mug basically snubbing his step-sister’s third wedding. At the time, I thought,  Maybe he doesn’t like weddings? But alas, he went to one last weekend…and it was for Kim’s ex-love Reggie Bush. I told you this was amazing.

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Celebrity Sightings In New York City - June 16, 2014

Kanye West seems obsessed with Kim Kardashian, however, not in a “love of my life” kind of way. Following their wedding, Kanye referred to Kim as “his ideal art” and the Kardashians, his new family, as an “industry”. Really nothing about his speech expressed love or admiration for his wife as a person.

Kanye only ever boasts about the status Kim, and her family, add to his life.

Now a new report, detailing Kanye‘s creepy control over Kim, has surfaced. Of course, “inside source” and “source close to the couple” type of reports need to be read with a “for entertainment only” frame of mind, but none of the claims sound too far fetched. Disturbing? Yes. Implausible? No.

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