Wow. Last night’s Mob Wives was like something out of the cartoon movie The Secret of NIHM. Am I aging myself? Probably. But gracious! Both have a lot of rats! It begins with Big Ang and Renee Graziano hashing out their issues, but Ang has invited a surprise guest. It’s Darryl Hannah from Splash! Sure, she’s a little older and she’s wearing a suit, but the hair is the same! Renee tries to raise an eyebrow (damn, Botox!). She has no issues with Victoria Gotti, but the Gottis and Karen Gravano’s family have beef. Renee wonders why Ang would invite Victoria knowing that her loyalties lie with biffle Karen. Ang is hoping that Victoria and Renee’s past will make Renee listen to what she has to say. Immediately, Renee wants to know Victoria’s opinion on outsiders. “Hate ’em.” Check!
Renee feels like she may have an ally and tells Victoria that an slime ball outsider is slandering her all over the Twitterverse, yet Ang stays friends with her. Ang reminds Renee that she’s the one who brought Natalie Guercio into the group. Ang doesn’t have issues or drama with friends. In fact, Renee is the only one of her friends who consistently decides to hate people. It’s exhausting. Renee babbles on about loyalty, but Ang wonders why they can’t just be ladies and not gangsters. Victoria sees Renee’s point (Renee is so excited to think that Ang’s plan has backfired). Ang brings up the fact that Renee has disrespected her family and also called her a clown. Victoria reminds the women that they are closer than friends…they are family. She should get her own therapy themed reality show. I’m kidding, VH1! Don’t even!
The polls are closed and the votes are tallied in our First Annual Reality Tea Readers’ Choice Awards! Stay tuned today as we unveil the winners for each of the categories you voted in over the past two weeks. Some of the results might really surprise you!
And here I was thinking that the women on Mob Wives are scary! Imagine my shock when I learned that Natalie Guercio’s boyfriend London Rene was the victim of a violent crime that left him having to get hundreds of stitches. Truth be told, I was even more surprised that his brutal box cutter slashing incident didn’t happen at the hands of Natalie. She seems like she’d cut a person quick.
According to TMZ, London was attacked outside a Brooklyn nightclub early Sunday morning. The assailant slashed his face, arm, and abdomen, London to have to get over two hundred stitches on his face alone. How horrible! Considering the brutal assault, it appears that London is very lucky. Now, police are trying to catch the assailant. You certainly won’t be super shocked to learn, that in a blonde moment, I mistook that the culprit was a “friend of Rene’s” as in Renee Graziano, when actually, the alleged attacker is (or should I say was) a friend of London Rene’s. I have the flu…can that be my excuse?
Oh, the progression that is Mob Wives! The students have become the teachers. Just a few short seasons ago, some of these women were one bitch slap from an assault charge, and now those same ladies are the voices of reason. That’s growth, y’all!
As we return to the scene of the rat race, er, girl fight, Karen Gravano is shoulder checking Natalie Guercio into a brick wall. Kudos to Karen for an often under-utilized move! Next year, poor Big Ang will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the time that the bar’s seven year anniversary was one upped by a spandexed Natalie trying to assert her toughness. Bystanders quickly intervene, and Drita D’avanzo likens it to better than cable. Storm wonders why his girlfriend had to go after Natalie after London already admitted (and hugged it out regarding) all of her faults. At home, Drita is excited that things are going so well with Lee. While he still won’t appear on the show, they burn through their cell phone minutes. His girls adore having him home, and he’s happy to play tutor to his two daughters. Lee admits that it’s hard being on the outside, and the pair is working so much that it’s hard to make time together. He urges her to make plans for an upcoming date night.
First, my apologies for the tardiness of the Mob Wives recap. Someone forgot to set the season pass on her DVR. Second, holy craziness, y’all! They are going all out with the drama this season and we’re only two episodes. Wowsers.
Last night began with Karen Gravano in a music studion. No. Just no. Please tell me she’s not making a record! She reveals that she’s ready to move back to New York so she can be closer to Storm and that her daughter is ready to make the move with her. Renee Graziano stops in for a visit, and thankfully we learn that Karen is just listening to music…not making it. The women rant about Drita D’avanzo wanting to crack Renee’s skull because of a rumor started by Natalie Guercio that Renee didn’t even say! What’s worse? Natalie is total cop-caller. You gotta hate a cop caller! Karen reveals that Storm ran into Natalie’s boyfriend London at a night club, and they had a total man conversation about the girls’ drama. I imagine that’s close…I bet they ran into each other at a strip club, Storm bought London a shot, they dished about the rack on the dancing girl while playing a game of “My girlfriend’s crazier than your girlfriend.”
Over drinks, Natalie and London are rehashing Karen’s rat lifestyle. I am so glad I didn’t self-impose a drinking game with the road rat, because I’d be wasted after those fifteen seconds. London reminds Natalie that they are going to have to see these people given they’re on the same show, and he begs her to take the high road. He’s not bothered by Storm. Natalie talks a big game about how she isn’t scared of Karen, but she also used the phrase “beefin’ on social media” so I just can’t take her seriously.