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Real Housewives of New Jersey

joe gorga  sizzle tans promo

Real Housewives of New Jersey resident beefcake slash Jersey Juicehead Joe Gorga stopped by Sizzle Tans yesterday and strikes a pose to show off his buff bod. 

I wonder if this is in preparation of their new workout DVD? Give us your best captions! 

P.S. Thank goodness for all those muscles – they'll come in handy when fending off wildlife!

UPDATED with more photos – including Melissa Gorga and a hilarious video from back in 2010 of former spokesperson Teresa Giudice

Photo credit: Manny Carabel via Tom Murro

click for more photos!

melissa-gorga

The wilderness is invading Real Housewives of New Jersey – and I'm not talking about a rampaging Teresa Giudice

Today Melissa Gorga announced on twitter that she met a furry little bear friend in her driveway. Melissa survived unscathed.

They have bears in the suburbs? Is that like you can't rent Chanel?

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Good thing the Gorgas are moving to a bear-free neighborhood soon. Right?

[Photo Credit: Twitter]

TELL US – MELISSA AND THE BEAR: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 

joe-teresa-giudice

Perhaps Teresa and Joe Giudice are getting all their sex out of the way just in case Joe does time in the slammer, but whatever the case the Real Housewives of New Jersey star dishes to Star Magazine that Joe just can't keep his hands off of her or other women allegedly.

“My secret to a great marriage is to make sure you give it to him every night,” Teresa advises. 

TERESA TELLS BRIDES HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIGE! 

She elaborates: “My husband is always poking me in bed, and I think, ‘Can’t I have a night off?’” Never missing an opportunity to plug her product – like a good little Bravo minion – Teresa claims her Fabellini wine is the perfect aphrodisiac! 

“It gets me in the mood, and Joe just shows up." Thank you for that vomit inducing visual and now I need to go get my mind erased. 

[Photo Credit: Twitter]

TELL US – SEXYTIMES WITH JOE AND TERESA: DO WE NEED TO KNOW?

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So Teresa Giudice is expanding her empire! The Real Housewives of New Jersey star presented yesterday at the Coral House bridal expo where she discussed how to have a successful marriage!

Oh no – I thought Melissa Gorga was the marriage/sexytimes expert?!?! At least on TV, right?

Reality Tea was able to obtain a copy of the talking points. Topic 1) How To Ignore Being Called A C-U-Next-Tuesday on National Television Topic 2) Stand By Your Man… Even When He Embarrasses The Hell Out Of You 3) Cheating? Pshaw… Even Proof Can't Convince Me! 4) Jailhouse Loving**

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST! 

danielle jenn

Oh wow.  I bet y'all didn't even know that it was possible to have a short, sweet Real Housewives of New Jersey post, but I'm here to restore your faith.  After the jump, I've got some great gossip and some hilarious Caroline Manzo news.  It won't disappoint.

Let me throw out some buzz words in hopes of sparking your interest.  We've got a former Basketball Wives star hanging out with a pole dancing "prostitution whore" from seasons past of RHONJ.  We've also got Caroline's face popping up in a very odd place.  It's amazing.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!

Teresa-Giudice & Melissa-Gorga

Well, well… more drama behind the scenes of Real Housewives of New Jersey! Yesterday evening Melissa Gorga took to twitter to announce that she and poison-spermed Joe Gorga are planning to produce their own workout DVD. It will be titled Stripperobics.

We here at Reality Tea found that announcement surprising, not because Melissa doesn't look hot, but because sister-in-law Teresa Giudice has been mentioning she is planning to release her own fitness DVD to coincide with her healthy eating cookbook empire.

Well, our source shared with us that Melissa's true intention behind announcing a workout DVD was purely to enrage Teresa and try to continue their never-ending competition. 

"This fitness video nonsense is unreal. Monkey See Monkey Do…A.K.A Melissa jumped right on the workout bandwagon. She knew Teresa was working on a fitness DVD so she just threw it out there on Twitter that she was making one," our source dishes.

CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST OF OUR EXCLUSIVE! 

Melissa & Joe Gorga - Antonia's 7th Birthday

Well, well… didn't I predict this would be the next big Housewives product on the horizon. Not five minutes after Phaedra Parks and Apollo Nida came out with Phine Body the first copycats are arriving!

Melissa Gorga announced on twitter that she and Poison Gorga are producing their own workout DVD. Cause e'rybody wants to look like they work at Lookers.  I predict they'll call it Poisonous Body By MeGo and JoGo. Oh dear… Jersified workout gear coming soon!

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CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST! 

Teresa Giudice and family celebrate Gia Giudice's 12th Birthday

The internet ink is barely dry on Melissa Gorga's interview where she proclaims that things are going good so far on season 5 filming of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and already there are signs of trouble.

This weekend the Gorgadices (minus Joe Gorga who has been battling a nasty case of the flu!) gathered together to try their hand at this family party thing one more time.  Teresa Giudice and hubby Joe threw a big ole shindig to celebrate Gia's 12th birthday and (of course) the Bravo cameras were there to catch the whole thing for our season 5 viewing pleasure. Also in attendance: Kim DePaola and newcomer Jennifer Dalton.

If the saying "a picture is worth 1000 words" is true, we're going to assume that things are hardly going okay.  And if we're judging by photos alone, Kim D. looks to be at the center of some major shit stirring.  You're shocked, right?

So, if you were hoping for a little bit of Kumbaya 'round the fire and no more drama, you may not want to read on and maybe skip down to the photo gallery at the very very bottom of the page!  If you were secretly making plans to watch something else on Sunday nights when you heard rumors of a drama-free RHONJ season, don't delete it from your DVR just yet and keep scrolling for your glimmer of hope!

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