RadarOnline reports that former Miss USA (and ex-girlfriend of Terrell Owens), Kenya Moore is at the top of the shortlist to join the show. The only snafu in the plan – Kenya just moved to Atlanta! She advertised on Twitter that she has just relocated to the city of peaches from Detroit! “Gorgeous day ATL. I love being n country hearing the horse whinny next door juxtaposed w/ the gunshots from shooting range down the street.”
Well, well, well… here’s a day I never thought I’d see! Apparently the elusive Chateau Sheree is no longer so elusive and it is much more than a few sticks, a porta-john, and a No Trespassing sign! Some crafty Atlanta bloggers Funky Dineva and Straight From The A‘s Michelle Brown paid a visit to the lot of neverland and were shocked to find out it’s a somethingland instead.
Everything seems to be coming up roses in Kim Zolciak‘s world. She’s married, she’s having a baby, and Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding wasn’t a complete flop – even if people only watched out of morbid curiosity.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kim’s new spin-off premiered to some pretty solid ratings. The two half-hour long series openers garnered about 1.55 million viewers! Not bad for a new show!
And since everything else is perfect in Kimlandia, it’s time to fix her fallen friendship with NeNe Leakes – which seems to be fragmented beyond repair. Much to my and Andy Cohen‘s chagrin.
Kim recently appeared on The Wendy Williams Show where she confirmed – Real Housewives of Atlanta or no – she is not interested in rekindling things with The Neen. “She’s really changed, and she’s not funny to me anywhere,” Kim shared. “She used to be really funny.” Funnier when she was a moose or when she had a penis? Wendy agreed, saying NeNe has become “mean-spirited.”
Of course, since Kim’s primary occupation is abusing autotune starring in Real Housewives of Atlanta – which just ended its fourth season – she has much to say about her castmates and that extremely vitriolic reunion!
First up, Kim tackles She by SheBroke‘s alleged firing. Her former co-tart will be making an appearance as a bridesmaid TFTW! “I think Sheree is just possibly in a different place,” Kim shares with The Hollywood Reporter. “I don’t know what happened — if it was completely her decision or Bravo’s, or a combination, I don’t know that. What I do know is that she does have a lot going on and I’m going to miss her.”
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There’s room for one more on next season’s Real Housewives of Atlanta. With Sheree Whitfield bidding adieu to the show that made her “who gon’ check me, Boo” famous, who will step in to fill her over-spending Louboutins? Some cast members are hoping the newest lady who lashes out lunches will be the feisty, label lovin’ Marlo Hampton who got her fair share of air time this season.
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Cynthia Bailey shares, “I think Marlo is definitely very entertaining for the show.” Entertaining…a menace to society…same difference, right?
“I like shooting with her just in terms of Marlo as a cast mate,” Cynthia elaborates. “Whenever she’s in the equation, things always take a different turn than what they thought it was going to be. So, Marlo would be really, really great to throw into the mix and see what’s going to happen. Things usually are always a little different when she is around. I can honestly say that South Africa would not have been the same if Marlo Hampton had not come on that trip.” I’d say that is a fair assertion on ol’ Cindy’s part. The South African trip probably would have highlighted more of South Africa and less of Marlo and Sheree’s screaming fits had Marlo not been in attendance.
Alright, I hate to break it to you wonderful readers, but this is going to be a brief-cap. As you well know, Real Housewives of New Jersey premiered last night, and as this was the final segment of the three-part train wreck known as the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion and I think we’ve said all there is to say. So, let’s break down the important parts!
So, is Kandi Burruss a sugar mama? Marlo Hampton seems to think so! And not only that, but she seems to think it’s her business to announce to the world that Kandi’s man lives with her. Well, I mean that’s called being in a committed relationship, you know: getting serious, not paying for sex, moving in together, going on actual dates in public, marriage… But I guess an escort/mistress wouldn’t know that, would she?. Kandi seems to think telling people her man drives a Range Rover proves she’s not a sugar mama. Kandi, yeah, labels don’t mean anything – just ask Marlo!
Marlo apparently earns money from all her haters. They take up a We Hate Marlo collection and just give it to her to fund her “labels”? So – can you guys do that for me? I need some new clothes – preferably ones made by Louwee VooTAWN.
So, Cynthia Bailey spoke after Andy Cohen slipped her a note telling her to fire up those vocal chords or get fired! Apparently, no one can get over the fact that Cynthia acts differently with a friend than she does with her co-workers and acquaintances. Much to do was made over the fact that Cynthia changes her spots for stripes when she leaves the giraffes for the zebras. Well, I really don’t think it’s that odd to act differently around people you know well, but I guess that’s why I’m not on a reality show. Personally, I don’t find Cynthia to be fake or confrontational with anyone. Nevertheless, Cynthia leaps right on into a screaming match with Kim Zolciak about how fake she supposedly is and how as soon as she gets near NeNe Leakesshe grows a pair of ovaries.
Proving that she speaks her mind, Cynthia calls Kim out on being a mistress! Cause, you know, it is what it is… Kim claims that Big Poppa was legally separated and you can date when you are separated. Except, Big Poppa is STILL not divorced – that’s the part she conveniently left out!
Cynthia, Marlo, and Kandi have distracting hair, that was probably not the best choice for the given environment. They keep flipping it over their shoulders and playing with it while trying to scream at people.
Marlo said she made it rain in South Africa because she knew She by SheBroke needed some money. Kandi snarked that she collected all those wasted bills to give to her man. Burn!
Sheree‘s greatest arguments are revisited. Who gon’ check me boo reigns supreme in my mind. Kim’s wigs have really um… gotten much more voluminous, haven’t they? And much tackier and trashier. First season they looked cute-ish, albeit a little cheap and matted. Now they look well… really fake and super cheap. What happened? Too much microwaving. Apparently, Kim and Sheree’s friendship has managed to survive call girl comments and wig pulls, because they are genuine and Sheree has never hit below the belt. Never really hit below the belt? If my friend called me a “call girl” on national TV, I would be preeeetty furious.
Kim informs us that despite what she told us, NeNe doesn’t have a penis. Whew! Good think she cleared that up!
Andy is still desperate for NeNe and Kim to be BFF again and return this show to its former splendor. Look, Andy – we all want that, but they are both too egotistical and it’s not gonna work out. Sorry. NeNe and Kim discuss their friendship for the umpteenth time. Both ladies are happy in their respective lives and are supportive of each other. Humbleness still eludes NeNe.
NeNe reveals that she brought Sheree and Kim to the attention of the producers and apparently NeNe convinced producers to hire Sheree because they initially thought she was too boring. And apparently, NeNe is willing to help Sheree out again – but unfortunately she is playing for the wrong team. Nothing like a little blackmail! <> And here come the rumors that NeNe got She by SheFired, well, fired!
And that’s it! We’re done with another season of RHOA!
THOUGHTS ON THE FINAL PART OF THE REUNION? ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT NEXT SEASON OR ARE YOU OVER THIS SHOW? WHO WILL QUIT FIRST: NENE OR KIM?
It’s with great sadness that I announce that tonight is Sheree Whitfiled‘s last appearance on Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know, I cried too. Not because I am Sheree’s only fan (which I very well may be), but because Sheree’s arrival on the reality television scene was golden, precious, and insane. I mean, she only has my favorite intro in Housewives history: “I like things that are elegint and soffisicated, just like me!” Priceless, amirite?
As an homage to the most delusional Housewife of the whole franchise, it is without further ado that I unleash She by SheBroke: A Retrospective. Let’s recap some of Sheree’s greatest moments, shall we?
Season one we met Sheree; then full of hubris and conviction. “Budget – what’s that?;” she quipped. Insisting that soon she would be getting a whopping seven figures in a divorce settlement from ex-husband Bob Whitfield. Remember when Sheree had a personal shopper come to her mansion, which was drifting into foreclosure as she spoke, to bring her shoes? Oh, how the mighty fall.
“A big problem men have is they’re intimidated by successful women,” She by SheDelusional explained while spending her paltry divorce settlement on dresses she couldn’t afford. “I’m fashion; I’m style!;” she exclaimed. It’s so very in vogue to be broke, you know! So, of course first comes ridiculous, then comes a fashion line!
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Really, we could skip all the other parts and go straight to that, because it’s the only part that really truly matters. It went a little like this: Marlo walks out, rocking pin-straight hair and a dress with shoulders constructed from a bathmat (Project Runway challenge?). She sat down, said no one liked her once she became friends with NeNe Leakes, copped to her charges, denied having her bills paid by Mr. Ted Turner, confirmed she still had a lot of work to do learning etiquette, and then she came out with it. Kim, you’re a whore! Apparently this was in response to something Kim said on the show about Marlo being an escort (which is all but proven fact at this point) with a large ladyhole. All class, no trash!
Frankly, I couldn’t believe it. Marlo just came out and said it – ‘Oh, I think we’re cut from the same cloth… you know, cheap polyester, maybe nylon – oh, wait no… No, we’re not. I’m cut from 10-ply cashmere and you – you’re a whore. You’re just some cheap acrylic. Google my charges! Cause prison uniforms are totally made from luxurious fibers.’
Marlo had it all planned out – she was practically reading a script NeNe had written for her and handily printed up on Gucci stationary; except I really don’t think NeNe was involved in this – nor Bravo, for once – I think Marlo acted as the lone honey badger. Vicious, crazy, and totally entertaining in a sadistic way. That being said – she needs to leave the show. And really, really study that etiquette manual. Like, non-stop. And Kim should be her study partner.
So, Marlo prances out and somehow gets into a screaming fight with Kim about who’s a whore and who’s an escort. It turns out that now that Kim is married, she’s neither a whore nor an escort and that whole Big Poppa charade never happened. Seriously- anytime anyone brings it up she points to her ring and says she’s a married woman now. Ok, but like Marlo said, she used to be a home-wrecking harlot flaunting it on TV and loving every minute of it; waving that big ol’ rock around! So she was basically a whore, but really Marlo: Pot meet Kettle.
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