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Real Housewives of Atlanta

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I think the last term anyone would use to describe Real Housewives of Atlanta's Phaedra Parks would be "wallflower."  However, the outspoken Southern belle from Bravo's hit has been MIA lately, both on Twitter and on her show's blog.  Many speculated that there was tension between her and Apollo Nida thanks to co-star Kenya Moore's relentless flirting with Phaedra's husband.  Unfortunately, Kenya's inappropriate behavior has nothing to do with Phaedra's media absence.

Phaedra recently spoke out regarding her hiatus from all things social media, and my heart goes out to her.  She now reveals that both she and her husband have both lost their maternal grandmothers.  While I am sure both Phaedra and Apollo are grateful for having their grandmothers in their lives for so long, it's never, ever easy to lose a cherished family member, especially so close to the holidays.  My positive thoughts are with both of them and their families. 

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Well it's the day before Christmas, commonly known as Christmas Eve, and all anyone on the island of Anguilla wants is for Kenya Moore to get some help – and go home! Going on vacation with crazy people is one of those unfortunate drawbacks of being on Real Housewives of Atlanta, I s'pose. 

Things begin with Kenya storming away after her massive argument with Porsha Stewart. Alas, no one could agree on who is the real tramp so they both stood up and started bickering about who is more fabulous. Answer: None of the above. 

NeNe Leakes is cackling so loud that her evil plan to expose the real Kenya worked that I thought lightening would descend from the sky. Far more generously, Cynthia Bailey admits that a lot of the stuff Porsha said about Kenya's age would have made her flip out too. 

NeNe is pleased as punch that there goes Kenya letting her crazy sprinkle out and finally explode all over the place. But Kenya has another surprising ally in Phaedra Parks. Phaedra admits that Kenya's ghetto behavior was out of line, but she likes Kenya and thinks she just lacks appropriate communication skills. Poor Kandi Burruss was in the hot tub and missed the whole thing. #priorities #kandikoatednights

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season 5

Kenya Moore is the resident Real Housewives of Atlanta crazy and while many have suspected she is majorly ramping things up for the camera time and career boost – something about me thinks her koo-koo-kachoo behavior may just be more authentic than we think! 

Kenya has already been caught in one scandal to get a storyline for the show. She convinced former boyfriend Walter Jackson to pose as her serious boyfriend whom she was talking marriage and family with. Unfortunately once the cameras stopped rolling Walter decided to call it quits on the prank prompting Kenya to start spreading rumors around Atlanta that he is gay! 

Well, now Kenya is apparently being caught in another lie! Anyone remember when Kenya claimed she owned her massive Atlanta home? According to a popular Atlanta blogger Funky Dineva, Kenya is only renting it!

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After getting evicted from her dream home, former Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak moved back to her "tiny" condo with husband Kroy Biermann and her kids.  Since leaving the mansion, Kim and Kroy have been overseeing the construction of their new dream house, which sounds like it will be even bigger and more lavish than the last one. 

Kim revealed today that Chez Biermann will feature EIGHT fireplaces.  EIGHT.  Kim Zolciak needs a lot of heat in her house, y'all.   Kim shared on Twitter that she was checking out the new manse, "At the new house freezing our asses off!!!!!!!!!!!"  When a fan replied, asking if there were any fireplaces, Kim shared, 8 but our house isn't close to being finished!"

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twitter-phaedra-parks

Oh Phaedra Parks, you always tell it like it is.  The lawyer/mortician hybrid from Real Housewives of Atlanta loves to enlighten us all with her Southern analogies and Donkey Booty.  While she can be sweet as sugar, I certainly wouldn't want to cross her.

This season we're seeing more of Phaedra (literally!  Was she serious with that thong bathing suit??), and we're also getting to see more of her spitfire personality.  In other words, we learn that Phaedra doesn't like to share…when it comes to her husband Apollo Nida.  Of course, who can blame her?

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Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta fabulous was redefined by one koo-koo-kachoo ex-pageant queen with a penchant for repurposing curtains into ball gowns, I s'pose! Kenya Moore was up to her old antics again and apparently "old" is the operative word because if you want that woman to lose what few marbles she has just point out that she is over 40. Dang, just tell people it's your 5th annual 39th birthday!

The other thing that happened was the epiphany of NeNe Leakes. It seemed our fair Ms. Leakes had turned over a new leaf this episode. She played many roles: peace maker, investigator of truth and intent, ring bearer and secret keeper, friend and foe, and most importantly WWF referee. Most interestingly was NeNe's opposition to drama as she stayed calm and collected throughout. I think I like this new NeNe, who has emerged the mother superior of RHOA. 

Before somebody went Gone With The Wind Fabulous on us, she went after Phaedra Parks' husband Apollo. We're back at the pool where a desperate Kenya was wondering if she could borrow Apollo free of charge for a few baby-making endeavors. Kenya's wig, weave – whatever – is looking as nutty as she is; all ratty and gnarled! Is this the case of the girl wearing the hair or the hair wearing the girl?

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Do you think former Real Housewives of New York star Jill Zarin ever really listens to what is coming out of her mouth?  I don't mean that to sound ugly, but I honestly don't think she hears herself…or if she does, she has to be one of the most self-confident, yet always victimized, women in reality show history.  It's almost comical.

Perhaps I shouldn't have watched her again on a Watch What Happens Live rerun, but I'll admit I got sucked into it.  It's as if Jill was watching an entirely different show than the rest of us!  When you read her recent interview after the jump, you'll get an even better taste of what I mean.  She touts Kim Kardashian's work ethic (she's almost as hard-working as Jill herself!), and pretty much poo poos poor people…or at least people who like to shop at K-Mart.  Perhaps she's never seen some of Sofia Vergara's line!

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Last week the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta hit up Anguilla for what was supposed to be a vacation. It was instead a trip devoted to baby-sitting Kenya Moore - and it seems tonight will be no different!

The socially inhibitious Housewife proceeded to get her drink on and flirt/molest every single man in site – including the very married ones. The only person not getting their fare share of Kenya's attentions was made for TV pseudo boyfriend Walter Jackson who was literally just along for the ride!

Tonight Kenya continues her charade of pretending she loves Walter while shoving her coochie crack near some other men and Porsha Stewart can take no more. Porsha explains that her disgust for Kenya's behavior began when Kenya was inappropriately grinding on Cynthia Bailey's husband, Peter.

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