Last night while watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I came to an important realization. I now understand why these women never eat and how they manage to stay so thin. If every time you sat down at a dinner table a massive fight broke out wouldn't you have dinner-induced trauma and be reduced to guzzling wine instead? They probably all go home and stuff microwaved popcorn in their faces while standing over the kitchen sink and ruminating about the days before they sold their souls to Bravo. But hey – at least those size 2s fit!
Yesterday's episode was more of the same. Same arguments, same players, same storyline, same snarky recapper wanting to hurl things at the screen. It started out OK, as it always seems to, but then quickly degenerated into the congealed, fetid remains of last night's dinner. Even Yolanda Foster was reduced to drinking tequila.
Most of the girls were in Vegas watching in awe as Brandi Glanville's legs twined around a stripper pole and slid gracefully to the floor. "Welcome to Night School For Girls!" she announced popping up with 3/4 of her boob also popping out. Splits Richards makes an important mental note to have Mauricio hypnotized into thinking Brandi is a revolting, wretched, shit-stirring drama queen again. He must not fall under her spell!
“@kylerichards18 is about to kill me for twitting this photo but can you blame me. So beautiful,” Mauricio wrote. Kyle immediately freaked and told him to get that off the internet! “OMG @MauricioUmansky KILL. our kids are on twitter #notcool.”
Mauricio deleted the photo after a day or so. Luckily we're fast with the screenshot trigger finger.
[Photo Credit: Twitter]
SO, TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF KYLE'S TOO-RACY-FOR-TWITTER SWIMMING POOL SHOT?
The women of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills seem to be following in the footsteps of their Bravo counterparts. Every day one of them is giving an exclusive interview, and usually at the expense of one of their cast members. Now Camille Grammer is hoping that the hatefulness will end. Or at least that's what she's saying so that she'll stay in the tabloids.
Adrienne Maloof is also working overtime to make sure that she remains relevant, and what better way to do that then to keep reminding us of her May-December romance with Sean Stewart. Enough already! She actually goes so far as to call herself a trendsetter. Yes, you read that correctly. And no, I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Um… somebody's about to get his charred chicken handed right back to him on a silver platter. And that person is eternal Adrienne Maloof mouthpiece Chef Bernie!
TMZ reports that Paul Nassif has filed a lawsuit against Bernie Guzman for unspecified damages, claiming the chef blackmailed and extorted him – and then slandered his reputation by falsely accusing him of spousal abuse!
Night School 4 Girls sent us these great shots of Brandi Glanville, Lisa Vanderpump,Yolanda Foster, Jennifer Gimenez and more having some fun as they channel their inner stripper. From the site, "Real Las Vegas Showgirls teach women how to shimmy and shake like a pro. Learn the art of seduction, different pole dancing tricks and a burlesque routine with chairs and boas in the 70 minute, ladies–only class."
Are you looking forward to this week's episode? Are you prepared to see these ladies shakin' their groove thangs?
Well one thing is certain – Brandi forced Adrienne to fess up to the rent-a-uterus. And she gave Adrienne a storyline for the first time ever. Way to go Adrienne – you're finally semi-relevant!
While that is all fine and good, Adrienne is holding firm in her accusations that Brandi ruined her family and destroyed her children's innocence. Oh Adrienne – give it a rest already. I agree with Brandi you claimed their father was abusing you and your children in the media – and that is much worse!
Brandi Glanville has never shared much of her side of things after her very public split from Eddie Cibrian, aka Scumdog-Wishes-He-Was-A-Millionaire. We've heard a lot about it, but not directly from her – until recently. As she promotes her new book, "Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders", she's letting it all out and promising to never bring it up again after the book tour.
Brandi sat down with the March issue of Glamour magazine to share the three lessons she has learned after going through a very nasty cheating scandal and public split.
1. “Get a little revenge”
"First, I called Eddie’s mom. We were very close. I had nursed her through an illness. She basically lived with us. I said, “There’s more than just LeAnn. I’m…I’m not OK.” And I got a knife, and I went out to the garage. I just took it to both of his Harleys. I hated those bikes—my dad had almost died in a motorcycle accident. I had never wanted Eddie on them, because we had children. I slashed all of the tires, and it felt so good. I called his mom back and told her, “I want you to know, I just killed Eddie’s motorcycles.” And she was like, “Thank God.” That night when Eddie got home, I said, “I’m going to move into a hotel for a week, and you need to get out of this house.” At this point, I felt he was a very hands-off father. We had a nanny who lived with us, and it was mostly she and I raising our children. He was like, “I love you— I’ll do anything.” And I said, “If it had been one person [you cheated with], it would’ve been different.” After that I left for the hotel. He refused to move out. He wouldn’t let go of us. And I’m like, “You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. I’m done.”
The battle between Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville rages on! In response to Brandi recently revealing that Adrienne's ex-husband Paul Nassif apologized to her over the lawsuit – and for some of his behaviors, Adrienne is speaking out and she is feeling anything but contrite!
“It’s the ultimate betrayal,” the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star tells Life & Style. “It’s extremely hurtful.” Apparently Brandi and Paul have forged something of a friendship in the last two months – even exchanging text messages – and Adrienne finds Brandi's motives to be extremely suspect!
“I believe getting close to Paul is a ploy on Brandi’s part to make herself more relevant," Adrienne elaborates. “I feel the sudden friendship with him was thought out and vindictive.”