Monday's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had the Richards sisters celebrating graduation, Yolanda Foster celebrating her husband's star on the Walk of Fame, and, what was that again? Yes, yes. Brandi making out with Carlton. While she mentions all of it in her Bravo blog, I've just chosen to highlight her new infatuation with Splits and her sibling sidekick. Brandi feels sorry for Kyle, y'all. Join me, won't you, as we return to bitch mountain…
Ahhh… Real Housewives of Bevelry Hills: where totally untrue in every way cheating rumors never die. Oh! And famous people get to block traffic and redecorate the sidewalk just for being famous.
Over at Kyle Richards' Faye Resnick-fied castle of tchotchke, she's upset because she has to clean up alllllll the dog poop like every day, despite a plethora of brightly colored postage notes decorating the cabinetry advising people otherwise. Poor Kyle – nobody listens to her! Nobody cares! Nobody cares what Kyle wants!
And what does Kyle want? Attention and caftans. Preferably together. Since Kyle presumably has nothing else to talk about but cheating rumors that are totally NOT TRUE and that she totally wants to DISAPPEAR, she and Mauricio sit down to discuss said cheating rumors and how untrue and absolutely ludicrous they are.
Joyce chatted with Steppin' Out magazine's Dan Lorenzo in their latest issue, due out December 18th. Joyce covered everything from who she'd stay in contact with if the show were canceled and explained why she finally caved and worked with her producer hubby.
Bravo has created its fair share of monsters, no doubt about it. However, what's a gal to do when it creates two monsters, and those monsters start feuding very publicly about feminine hygiene? With whom do you side? It's a conundrum, I tell you!
Yolanda says she was excited about circus school and saw it as an opportunity to have fun and deal with unresolved issues within the group. "I strongly believe that a lot of problems in this group would disappear if we started to talk to each other rather than about each other," she cites.
This week's installment continued to focus on Kyle Richards and the evil, terrible, horrifying, life-destroying, totally not true in any way cheating rumors concerning her husband. Was anyone else thinking, "What cheating rumors?" until RHOBH spent 4 episodes talking about it? Anyway, in her Bravo blog Kyle reveals that she does not find tabloid lies funny. Even less funny – unsupportive friends. Everyone should be wooed into submission by her constant hair flips!
"Hearing 'news' about my family on TV or on the Internet is not new to me," Splits states reminding us that 65 eons ago she was kinda a big deal. A legend in her own hair mind. "However, this is the first time I have been in this position personally. I too have been guilty at times of thinking that there had to be some sort of truth behind these stories."
"8th grade drama sounds the same 30 years later," Kyle tells Mauricio. You know it! Time for all y'all ladies to take a little Alice In Wonderland pill and grow the EFF up!
Things begin with Brandi and Carlton Gebbia shopping at Trashy Lingerie. Ahem. Brandi and Carlton verbally molest each other and gush about much they love beautiful women in an innuendo-laden crapfest. But neither of them are lesbians or something.
Brandi is buying lingerie for her non-relationship and wants to bury a crystal to evoke new love. How about bury the past? Not talking about your ex constantly might help welcome someone new into your life!