Oh dear! We're on Real Housewives War, Vol 2 million. Last week comedian Chelsea Handler had a rather lackluster and brutal appearance on Watch What Happens Live. She openly told Andy Cohen that his brainchild, The Real Housewives franchise, was awful.
"I think that franchise is kind of a terrible thing," Chelsea remarked to Andy. "Women shouldn't be making money off of the fact that they have fake books, fake vaginas, fake whatever. I actually don't support that."
When Andy reminded her that she'd had some Housewives as guests, Chelsea quickly clarified she had "one," Bethenny Frankel. "Not even Brandi Glanville," Chelsea pointed out.
"I love the Housewives," Chelsea quipped sarcastically. Ironically for someone complaining about how fake the Housewives are, Chelsea dear has had a whole lotta botox. Dang girl – surprised you can move that mouth slapped into the middle of a too-tight shiny face.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies left Paris. They returned to the BH where the antics picked up where they left off and we learned Faye Resnick hadn't fallen off the face of the earth in their stead but instead was just waiting frozen faced and clammy in the cryogenic chamber for their return.
Splits Richards opened her very own boutique cause she's bored all day and if Kathy Hilton did it why can't she? And oh yeah – Taylor Armstrong got a rude awakening! Sweet justice.
Things begin with Splits waltzing onto the Ledo Deck in a full-on circus tent refashioned into a skirt. Apparently said skirt, a cacophony of patterns and colors, is available for $900 at her store. Oh, Kyle… at least you never lose hope! There's that right? I was a wee bit disappointed she didn't hop onto the mast for a full-flying Titanic rendition.
Kyle and Bethenny were spotted at the park at Cross Creek Center in Malibu, California with their daughters, Portia Umansky and Bryn Hoppy. The celeb moms hit the swings and slides together. Wouldn't you like to have been a fly on the jungle gym for that playdate?
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Adrienne was reportedly using the relationship as leverage to return for season 4, but producers were disinterested in the idea. That must of been the nail in the coffin for this publicity stunt relationship!
"They've decided to distance themselves and become friends. Nothing bad happened," an Adriennesource tells Us Weekly. "They're still going to hang out as friends, they enjoy each other's company."
And why not – Brandi is hot! Gerard confessed to the hookup on Howard Stern, of course. When asked if he slept with her last year, Gerard famously replied "Who's Brandi Glanville" prompting many people to accuse her of lying.
I want y'all to think back to a simpler time…a time when neighbors were friends, and they washed Cornish game hens in dish washing soap and had dinner parties together. A time before the skies grew dark, and one friend with blue hair feathers got mad at another satin cloaked friend for not having her satin cloaked daughter's bachelorette party at feather-mane's casino. I miss those days. NOT! While I generally don't enjoy conflict (it makes me super uncomfortable), there is something about the Lisa Vanderpump/Adrienne Maloof feud that is oh, so entertaining.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars used to be pals, but now there's an unfair fight brewing in the tabloids. A now fired Adrienne is taking every opportunity to badmouth her former friend, and she should have learned long ago that talking smack about Lisa never ends well for the smack talker. Lisa is smart enough not to start any drama, but when it comes her way, she silences it with some biting and witty remarks that make said smack talker look like an idiot. And let's be honest, shall we? Adrienne is already struggling with her image, and her new plan of spewing hate on Lisa's restaurant Villa Blanca is quickly backfiring.
Apparently Adrienne has continued her vengeance proximity to Lisa Vanderpump by deciding to open a new restaurant on mere streets away from Lisa's Villa Blanca. Is she hiring Bernie to fry up some scandalous accusations?
Adrienne has also been butchering Lisa's business; declaring her new venture a "10" while dismissing Lisa's well-established restaurant as "a disaster" and rating it a "2." Adrienne is even turning it into a competition with Lisa according to TMZ, telling associates she is going to "kick her ass!"