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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I feel like there is a giant math equation regarding how much gossip we hear about the show in proportion to the ratio of time a housewives franchise has been on the air divided by the amount of certified crazies in the cast and then taken to the third power of the square root of how many on-air divorces occur multiplied by the number of husbands we think could potentially be cheating.  It's like E=MC² up in here!

Given all of those mathematical conundrums, it only makes sense we'd be hearing a lot the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at the moment.  We've got the crazies, we've got the divorces, and I have some suspicions about some of those husbands!  First up, we've got Brandi Glanville engaging in yet another Twitter war with home wrecker (don't sue me!) LeAnn Rimes and more news on the Adrienne Maloof front.

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You may not agree, but I think Brandi Glanville is the spice so needed for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  She's brash, she's offensive, she's everything her counterparts want to be but pretend that they're not.  You add in the fact that Brandi's ex-husband Eddie Cibrian couldn't keep it in his pants, and she proceeds to run into his former mistresses throughout 90210, and you've got a great reality recipe for drama.

I know y'all recall the SUR party last season (you know, the one Cedric  Martinez tried to crash, not to be confused with this season's Villa Blanca party when Adrienne Maloof sent that passive aggressive jungle arrangement to Lisa Vanderpump) when Brandi ran smack dab into SUR waitress Scheana Marie who had once gotten to know Eddie really well…if you catch my drift.

Fast forward to Scheana starring in Bravo's new Vanderfabulous spin-off Vanderpump Rules, and she's all over the media yet again for that unfortunate run in with Brandi.  Of course, Brandi handled the situation with as much class as Brandi can…she did a better job than I would have expected.  From previews, we know that the women will come face-to-face yet again (thanks producers!) to finally say their peace, and now media outlets are revisiting that original awkward meeting as Bravo hypes its newest reality show.

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First of all let me apologize for this beast being so late, but good things come to those who wait, right? Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, boy did we witness some groveling. It was down in the dirt, on your knees, begging kind of groveling as Queen Lisa Vanderpump barely acknowledged her subject's pleas for redemption. 

I should say last night's episode was a study in relationship building and friendship, but also in status. New alliances were drawn, and enemy lines began to be sorted out. Also, the ladies took a trip to Ojai where apparently magic happens. But no amount of magic can make these girls behave in public. 

Things begin with two ladies afflicted by a curse of over botoxing and an unfortunate affinity for ugly blouses facing off in a quaint little restaurant. One lady, a benevolent but stern queen, and the other a marginally disgraced princess who is quivering and anxious with anticipation. Yes, Adrienne Maloof has realized she made enemies with the wrong lady, because while Lisa can be sweet as rosé, she will cut a bitch faster than she'll discard a wilting rose. 

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Well this is quite the quandary, isn't it! New Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Yolanda Foster used to be married to Mohamed Hadid, a friend of Lisa Vanderpump

On a recent episode of Real Housewives of Miami, Joe Francis was heard accusing Joanna Krupa of sleeping with Mohamed. Well now a new report accuses Joanna of being the blame for breaking up Yolanda and Mohamed's marriage! 

It's well known that Joanna has quite the past (or at least there are many accusations leading that way), but is she really a homewrecking harlot? I dare say this may be our first case of cross-cities Housewives feuding, but I can't wait until Andy Cohen books these two on an appearance for WWHL together! 

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Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville have been at each other's throats since last year's reunion. And things are about to explode staring with tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode. The former friends (Adrienne reportedly got Brandi cast for the show!) get into an argument over Adrienne's marital problems. 

Adrienne and Brandi get into a HUGE fight about Adrienne and Paul [Nassif]’s marriage,” an insider dishes to NY Daily News. 

Apparently the fight began over Adrienne misrepresenting herself to cameras – including behaving as if her marriage was fine while the entire cast knew things were very rocky between Adrienne and Paul

Adrienne has been very controlling about what she allows the cameras to film because she wants to project a certain image of having the perfect life,” the insider explains. 

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It's good to be Brandi Glanville this week!  Not only did the preorder for her new book go live this past week, but she just landed another job!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star shared over the weekend that she's heading to another Beverly Hills-based TV show: "90210"!  Brandi and her RHOBH cohort Camille Grammer will be appearing on the series (which is a reboot of the original 'Beverly Hills, 90210') in the near future. She took to Twitter to share her excitement, naturally.

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Gotta love Brandi Glanville's cut to the chase approach. Since Taylor Armstrong can't stop talking about her "archnemesis" and her alleged slutty behavior, Brandi decided to discuss how she feels about Taylor's behavior. 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star sat down with Us Weekly where she shared her perspective on this season and discussed why she does not condone Taylor's relationship with her very-married boyfriend, John Bluher. In the very candid interview, Brandi is upfront and direct but not exactly catty. 

First up, Brandi talks about how things got so mixed up in her comment to Yolanda Foster about sleeping with everyone in Beverly Hills. Apparently Yolanda, who's Dutch, doesn't always get American humor, particularly sarcasm. 

Brandi reveals that she and Yolanda end up "very close BFFs" throughout the show and she classifies Yolanda as "Team Sanity." 

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we were treated to a feast of crazy. Newbie Yolanda Foster tells us her biggest problem in life is having too many lemons about her house (she has an orchard of lemon trees), and after last night's dinner party I think  that very well may be the case. Sometimes friendships go sour, and sometimes sour grapes ruin a friendship before it even begins. 

Things begin with Kim Richards getting her youngest daughter Kimberly ready for prom. Kim is breathless with anxiety and is taking out her stress by molesting a vat of chicken salad for 100 while Kimberly gets her hair done. Kim comes out with this bowl that weighs as much as she does and sets it down in the middle of some banquet feast saying she just wants everything to be perfect.

It was literally the chicken salad that ate Kim Richards and she was running her fingers through it, caressing it, just praying on this chicken mess that everything would go perfectly. 

Kimberly's boyfriend shows up and he's 20 to her 16. What?! Maybe they should stay home and eat chicken salad. How exactly did this man meet this teenager and who exactly is condoning this? Well, besides Bravo and Kim, obviously. I'll try not to judge… I have to say I cannot get over how gorgeous Kimberly is and how much she looks like a young Kim. 

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