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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Um? No?  Please no?  Oh, who am I kidding, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Taylor Armstrong isn't going anywhere, so I should just stop wishing she'd go away.  She's not.  Whatever.  It's the holidays.  I'm feeling slightly less hateful. 

Anyhoo, Taylor is coming to the media interwebs with guns blazing.  It's a brazen attempt to find some sort of fan base in her madness.  I can't say I blame her.  This is her bread and butter.  Unfortunately, she underestimated her viewership…we don't like bread and butter…we like good cheese and fancy breads and wine not in a box.  Or in a box, as long as you have some wonderful cheeses!  :)

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If the drama on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wasn't enough the drama away from the cameras is even dirtier! Brandi Glanville and ex-husband Eddie Cibrian have had a seriously acrimonious divorce, in part because of crazy SWF LeAnn Rimes' behavior and feuding over their children. Recently things have literally exploded between Brandi, Eddie, and LeAnn! 

What started with a series of passive aggressive tweets and a scathing article in which Brandi accused LeAnn of having a severe eating disorder and being an unfit parent has resulted in an all-out war. Brandi also claimed Eddie refuses to speak to her and is impossible to get in touch with, which is why she has resorted to twitter and the media.

Eddie recently took to RadarOnline to leak an email he sent to Brandi proving he does actually communicate with her – albeit unpeaceably. 

In his email Eddie writes: 

"I know your life exists solely for the purpose of living and creating drama. It's a sad way to live. It's so obvious that you have to constantly mention my wife so people will care what comes out of your mouth" 

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So wait… you mean to tell me LeAnn Rimes isn't naturally twiggy? Apparently not! The former singer is allegedly taking laxatives to lose weight and the pooper pills fell into the wrong little hands making her step-son extremely ill! Yikes – and very scary. 

Brandi Glanville is speaking out about dangerous incidents happening when her sons are in the care of her ex-husband and his current wife. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is expressing concern about whether or not LeAnn is fit to be a caregiver for her two sons! 

"I, unfortunately, don't find her to be stable and I don't want her around my kids when Eddie [Cibrian]'s not there — or at least the nanny, his parents, someone," Brandi reveals to Us Weekly. "Mason, my eldest, ate some of Le's candies and got extremely ill. And Le's candies are laxatives. It was a big f–king deal for me, and I lost my mind." Rightfully so!!! 

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What a difference a few seasons can make.  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Camille Grammer knows that…perhaps like no other lady in the franchise.  Pushed into doing the show by her now ex-husband Kelsey Grammer, we watched awkwardly the first season as her marriage crumbled and she butted heads with her cast mates.  Let's just say she didn't make the best impression.  She quickly redeemed herself in the second season.  Again, I think she may be the only one in the franchise who went from being hated to a fan favorite…we all know it happens the other way around though!

Another housewife from RHOBH who seems to be gaining fandom is Brandi Glanville.  She continues to build her brand while thumbing her nose at her ex-husband and his new Twitter-addict bride.  Of course, the richest franchise does have some ladies who aren't winning any popularity awards among viewers.  The mere mention of Taylor Armstrong's name gets some people's blood boiling…will they be fortunate enough to see her hightail it out of the zip code she worked too hard to gain?  Check out some Beverly Hills gossip after the jump!

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies got wild and out in Ojai. I have to say last night was one of the most fun episodes ever and it makes you think if they all got their panties out of a wad, relaxed, and spoke to each other like normal people instead of obsessing over petty drama they'd all get along and be fun. But alas, that would be too easy and far too mature. 

Things begin with the girls still in Ojai where Brandi Glanville has just dropped the eff-bomb at Buckingham Palace in front of Queen Elizabeth and her corgis. Oh, wait –  no she didn't. She just said it to Adrienne Maloof, but the way these ninnies were acting you'd think this was the most official, classy, elegant prestigious dinner in all the world. I don't know why they were all getting up on their high horses acting like they've never said F-U before when we all know they use it. Right, Splits Richards?

Anyway, Brandi and Kim Richards were doing a big Ojai love-in and pouring their hearts out when Adrienne gets on the intercom with her whiny, donkey voice to announce that someone is crying in Aisle 5 and clean-up is required. Repeat, someone – ahem KIM – is crying!

So Brandi was forced to tell Adrienne to eff off and everyones' heads snapped around like Adrienne just announced that someone was peeing on a Chanel bag. Their mouths dropped, and they glared at Brandi as if she was pee culprit desecrating the holy statue. 

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Last week I had the opportunity to speak to Marisa Zanuck, the new Housewife in training on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Marisa is definitely frank, outspoken, and unafraid to give her opinion – which means she'll be perfect for the show! Marisa joined the show as a friend of Kyle Richards and although she's nervous about the reaction to her debut she's excited to share her unconventional but fabulous BH life with viewers. 

Marisa discussed her experience filming with the girls, and most importantly dished on who's a bitch, who's awesome, and who's exactly the same behind the scenes as they are on camera!

Below is an excerpt from our conversation. 

Why Did You Decide To Join RHOBH?

"I decided to do the show because I thought it would be a lot of fun. I know Kyle really well. I thought it could open up some doors or maybe expose me to the world in a way that I wouldn't normally be exposed." 

Do You Think Kyle Is Accurately Portrayed On The Show?

"Yes. 100 percent." 

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Last week's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ended with a big F-U from Brandi Glanville. Brandi was just trying to have an earnest heart-to-heart with former nemesis Kim Richards when Adrienne Maloof stuck her surgically altered nose right in the middle of things. 

In the wake of the F-bomb heard 'round Ojai, Kyle Richards is surprisingly defending Brandi and admitting that perhaps Adrienne should have left well enough alone. 

"The dinner started out really nice. I was happy to be out with the girls and really having fun. All the girls were really bonding and getting along," Kyle recalls in her Bravo blog.

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I feel like there is a giant math equation regarding how much gossip we hear about the show in proportion to the ratio of time a housewives franchise has been on the air divided by the amount of certified crazies in the cast and then taken to the third power of the square root of how many on-air divorces occur multiplied by the number of husbands we think could potentially be cheating.  It's like E=MC² up in here!

Given all of those mathematical conundrums, it only makes sense we'd be hearing a lot the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at the moment.  We've got the crazies, we've got the divorces, and I have some suspicions about some of those husbands!  First up, we've got Brandi Glanville engaging in yet another Twitter war with home wrecker (don't sue me!) LeAnn Rimes and more news on the Adrienne Maloof front.

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