So last night was really something! Was this DYNASTY orReal Housewives of Miami? I mean a pool fight between queens? Angry ladies in negligees screaming? Champagne glasses being flung? Bitchslapping and accusations flying? Booze and bitching galore? I love it
And in the center of it all stood a series of blurred out nipples over surgically altered boobs. Just the casualties of a lingerie party, I suppose.
Joanna Krupa is a curious case, isn't she? She's pretty as an angel but she's like a Transformer. She appears like an apparition all soft blonde light and sparkling blue eyes, sweet pink pout and then BOOM! Her hair turns to razor blades that will slice you, her mouth is filled with fire, bullets flying from her nipples (all three of them!), and her eyes become like shards of glass. Joanna will cut a bitch. She will stalk her prey and maul them like a wild beast hungry for dinner. Maybe that's the problem – none of these ladies eat enough and the hunger drives them crazy.
Of course, we all know that ol' Splits McGee loves the limelight almost as much as Adriana despises Karent Sierra. However, if Kyle's latest antics are true, she may have moved to the top of Adriana's most hated list. Part of me really wants this to be legit!
Ahhhh… there's a huge storm brewing off the coast. And things will get wild, crazy, and unpredictable. And that's just Real Housewives of Miami! Don't even get me started on Hurricane Sandy.
This week Reality Tea spoke with Lea Black about RHOM and we got some dirt on tonight's shocking episode where Adriana de Moura bitch slapsJoanna Krupasilly – all while wearing next to nothing mind you. Now I've never been to a lingerie party that didn't turn into a crazy mess (OK, so I've only been to one and it was from my college days and I didn't really wear lingerie) – and Lea agrees. Her take on what happened: "The drama's organic. I don't think any of the drama on this show is contrived drama. These girls they can't hold back when they want to!"
Lea said the slap is "just the beginning." Adding, "These girls, the dynamic between them is just… explosive."
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Aaaahhh… Miami a town where boobs come out to support charity. And not just the kind of boobs stuffed in a bra. Some of those boobs go by the name Joe Francis.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami there was a ton of T&A – meaning a lot of trashiness and a lot of asses. Poor Fembot Fakenstein got it into her pretty little head that she could upstage the mighty Lea Black, Miami's resident charity queen (maybe?), by hosting a lingerie party to support Susan G. Komen. I bet Susan is so proud.
So Fembot invited 800 of Lenny's boob goddesses, asked them to wear the stuff they normally wear to the supermarket and show up at her house, checks drawn and appetite for liquor, drama, and camera time at the ready. Actually I feel bad for Lisa, I think she really thought this would be a fun event and didn't get the memo that Bravo ruins everything. Better luck next time, toots!
Tonight is an all new episode of Real Housewives of Miami and since the ladies act like high school students on the regular I thought it'd be fun to compile a collection of Yearbook Superlatives. Remember those? Most Likely To Succeed, Cutest Couple, Biggest Flirt, etc.
Tonight's episode features the infamous slap and it also features the ever-classy Joe Francis who happens to be a friend and client of Lea Black's. Joe, of Girls Gone Trashy fame, claims he has slept with bothJoanna Krupa and her sister Marta. A claim Joanna denies. Joe has been tweeting up his insistence that it is true and accusing Joanna of bullying him in the press.
Shouldn't Joe be focusing on his massive legal woes and financial issues instead of you know desperately trying to make himself relative through a reality show. Oh what am I saying?!
Anyway, tonight Adriana de Moura slaps Joanna in the face and we all get to watch! Reality Tea will be live-tweeting all the drama and we won't be tearing our drama-starved eyes away from the screen for a moment. So make sure to join us tonight!
Real Housewives of Miami airs tonight on Bravo at 9/10c.
[All Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]
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Ewww. I guess I should know that if a post is going to involve Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, I'm not going to be writing about rainbows and kittens…unless rainbows and kittens are involved with whatever sexual escapade he's describing. Of course, if that's the case, someone needs to call PETA stat.
This time around Joe makes a cameo on Real Housewives of Miami where he alleges that he slept with both Joanna Krupa and her sister Marta. Again ewww. How old is this guy again? Oh, that's right! He's thirty-nine…a perfectly acceptable age to still be bragging about sexual conquests like he's hanging out in his high school locker room. Ewww ewww ewww. Thankfully, we'll all get to witness the madness on this week's episode.
I'll be honest, when I first saw the headlines for this piece of gossip, I was more than slightly disturbed that Joe was implying he had a three-way with the sisters, but I am relieved that my assumption is incorrect. Small favors, right?
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, drama was as plentiful as the uneaten food. Joanna Krupa may or may not have caught her fiancé in the throes of a passionate affair. And Adriana de Moura may or may not have accused Karent Sierra of being a desperate delusional famewhore to her face. Oh – and best of all Mama Elsa my or may not have threatened to beat a drag queen's ass. Yep, never a dull moment in the Sunshine State!
Things begin at Alexia Echevarria's party. Karent has come guns blazing after Joanna slipped and told her Adriana was planning to confront her about famewhoring. Karent is like I'll worry about that after photos! CHEESE. That girl was in her Mecca all over the step n repeat!
Inside the party the awkwardness is palpable right away and Adriana is following Karent with narrowed eyes just waiting to strike. Karent is also acting like nothing weird has ever happened with Ana Quincoces and Rodolfo as she keeps trying to yank her in for more photos. Girl – how many photos do you need?
Real Housewives of Miami star Joanna Krupa headed out to BOA Steakhouse with Romain Zago last night in Beverly Hills, wearing a see-through top with no bra. So, we gotta ask – is it trashy or high fashion? We're betting more than a few diners had a difficult time concentrating on their own dinner dates.
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