I guess it's par for the course. If you go on a Housewives franchise, chances are people will dig up dirt on your past. Even better? If you don't have a juicy past, they'll make up some stories! Just ask Real Housewives of Miami'sJoanna Krupa. She was recently accused by The Dirty (because that's a legit site) of being a high priced call girl. As you know, the story was quickly retracted (or taken down…I doubt anyone at The Dirty knows the meaning of the word "retracted") when the supermodel threatened legal action.
So, what have we learned? The Polish beauty never accepted money in exchange for boring, rich, socially awkward men's attention. Color me shocked…not. However, the reason her name (and picture) was brought into this crazy gossip has finally come to light. It's basically the ol' bait and switch…some millionaire Madame shared Joanna's pictures on her website, and when men would request the leggy blonde, said madame would do her best to hook him up with a lookalike. That is not shady at all…said no one EVER.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, a very careful distinction was made. And that distinction was the differences between a regular, old, run of the mill famewhore, and an uber, professional celeb-stalking, paparazzi courting, namedropping famewhore. And guess who announced themselves a member of the latter category?Karent Sierra, dentist to the stars by day, photobombing pseudo-celeb by night!
Only Bravo could find these people and give them a platform for which to promote their ridiculous endeavors? As Adriana de Moura pointed out – "Doesn't she have teeth to drill?"
But before all that drama, Romain Zago is putting his foot down with Marta Krupa. It would appear that Marta, who has no reliable job to speak of, is seeming like a freeloader to Romain, who wonders just why she doesn't help out around the house? Romain spells it out – you're taking advantage of Joanna Krupa.
Marta's all like, 'Yeah, but I like mopped the floor that one time! I help! I put a new toilet paper roll on the holder. And ummm… I, like, put the clothes away that I borrow from Joanna!' Romain chastises her for not even grocery shopping – which makes sense considering she doesn't have a job so how exactly would she buy food? Anyway, Marta, who's a serious actress, announces she's moving in with Fembot Fakenstein. Romain is like don't let the door hit you – and take out the trash on your way out!
I believe that the Countess said it best when she sang (rapped?) "Money Can't Buy You Class." That seems to go double for the children of the women in the Bravo franchise. Many have had situations that don't necessarily paint them in the best of light. Again, I think the Countess can attest to that as well!
Well, now I think one of the Real Housewives of Miami offspring may have just taken the cake. Alexia Echevarria's son Peter Rosello was known on the first season as the kid whose self-confidence she was trying to build by getting him into modeling. He may be a model, but he certainly wasn't displaying model behavior when he videotaped himself punching a homeless person in his business and then posted the video online. I just can't make up this stuff!
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, the battle lines were drawn as the women divided into three groups: The Nasty Nicies, The Above The Dramas, and The Something To Proves. I'll let you do the sorting over who goes where since it doesn't require very much brain power.
Things begin with a heart-to-heart on the beach between Romain Zago and Joanna Krupa. Could it get anymore romance movie than that? Two attractive people, strolling side-by-side, the tension is palpable, Romain is concerned: is Joanna drinking too much? She's embarrassed them both and he has no idea what's wrong with her! Joanna is mildly defensive, but mostly empathetic. Oh – and she so doesn't have a drinking problem!
Then Adriana de Moura comes on to the scene. Romain decides this is the perfect moment to tell Joanna that Adriana was throwing herself at him. Joanna is aghast. How unclassy. And she would know; she's read Class With The Countess cover to cover at least five times. Joanna sniffs that Romain can have Adriana – plenty of other men will take her. Romain is like 'Oh yeah? I mean you used to be an escort, oh, I mean allegedly! And you're out-of-control when you're drunk. And you've got Marta always around. Me on the other hand… "catch" is my middle name.'
We didn't report on this sooner, because well, TheDirty makes us feel dirty. Ewww… However, the other day the website famous for outing people's dirty laundry – whether true or not – reported that Real Housewives of Miami star and supermodelJoanna Krupa was a former high-priced escort before her modeling career took off.
The post claimed to have proof that Joanna was a high class prostitute of the Elliot Spitzer variety who would bang zee menfolk for a pricey $10,000 a romp. Then of course Maxim Magazine discovered her existence and poof – no more prostitution whore!
What happens when you take a show centered around a cooking club in Miami and splice and edit it into a housewives show? You get a boring season with a confusing dinner party in each episode. However, what happens when you revamp that season, let the ladies know to bring the drama, and replace some Basketball Wives with a supermodel and some successful surgically enhanced professionals? Amazingness…that's what. The only constant is Mama Elsa.
Real Housewives of Miami has certainly found its footing as a legitimate member of the Bravo franchise. These women (and their ginormous boobs!) certainly know how to bring the drama. Case in point? Joanna Krupa had a meltdown of epic proportions on the most recent episode, ruining the 10th anniversary party for her fiance's nightclub…all thanks to a cheating DJ. Now that's what I'm talking about, ladies!
It seems that almost everyday there's a little buzz about which city will be hosting the next round of Bravo insanity with its own set of overly catty, surgically enhanced, and Botoxed to the hilt drama queens…marriage license preferred but certainly not required.
While the Bravo cash cow has women fighting each other in franchises all over the country, one rumor has been consistent for a while. Could Bravo be heading to the homeland of Eden and Cruz (yeah, I went there!) to film the next installment? With the original Real Housewives of Orange County still bringing in the ratings andReal Housewives of Beverly Hills still bringing the most-talked about dramatics, wouldn't it make sense to go back to Cali for the next batch of crazy?