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Real Housewives of Miami

marysol alexia peter

I hope that all of our RT readers had a wonderful, stress-free, family-filled Christmas that was devoid of drama…or at the very least, I hope you got some really delicious grub.  Of course, what would the holidays be without craziness and chaos?  I guess that's what the housewives are for, right?

The Real Housewives of Miami may see their whirlwind season coming to an end, but they certainly aren't going anywhere in the tabloid world.  First up, Marysol Patton is talking about all things season three.  Sadly, her friend Alexia Echevarria is not having a great holiday.  She's been faced with her youngest son's horrible car accident, and now she and her husband are being investigated by the IRS.  The only good news for Alexia is that her oldest son Peter will escaping jail time for assaulting a homeless man earlier in the year.  Wow and wow.  Merry Christmas to him!

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On last night's finale of Real Housewives of Miami things were peaceable, nice, and sweet. I kinda expected the reunion to be filmed sans moderator in Vicki Gunvalson's backyard circa S1 of RHOC, aka before these shows descended into non-stop fighting, backstabbing, and made-for-TV personal problems. 

Nope, last night's episode featured real, honest-to-goodness drama, and sweetness. I guess after a season of crazy why not end on a high note? 

Things begin with the girls still in Bimini. Apparently the bad weather has stranded them and trying to turn lemons into lemonade an energetic Marysol Patton suggests a "Healing Water" ceremony involving flowers and Pucci worn with aquashoes. Marysol explains that her mother believes making a wish and throwing flowers over your head into water can cleanse negative energy and help us find closure and peace. 

Lea Black had been passing the time talking to all her friends in jail and so she's game. I mean who wants to hear some wealthy con complain about the frozen peas and lukewarm gravy in the minimum security prison when you could be on vacation right? Adriana de Moura laughs that while alone in their cells at night they're all fantasizing about Lea and Lea didn't seem to find that image appetizing. 

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Tonight is the season finale for the Real Housewives of Miami. I'm kinda surprised there's less hype because the show has had a lot of drama and the ratings have been OK. 

Speaking of drama on last week's episode everyone continued to talk about Karent Sierra's suspect relationship with Rodolfo. In light of Alexia Echevarria revealing the cheating allegation, Karent and Joanna Krupa decided to expose a rumor about Alexia's own marriage! Joanna dished that the local gossip is it that Alexia's husband Herman is gay! 

Lea Black dismissed the rumor as untrue and Alexia is also speaking out claiming they were just being vindictive. And Alexia has a lot to say about how horrible Joanna and Karent are! 

"I was hurt and disgusted when I saw Karent and Joanna trying to stir up nonsense about my relationship of 13 years with my husband, Herman. Herman is an exceptional man, human being, husband, and father, which is more than they can say about their men," Alexia writes in her Bravo blog.

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It would appear that Bimini isn't a place of relaxation or fun if you happen to be a member of the Real Housewives of Miami. Nope, instead it happens to be a place of arguments, backstabbing, and bitchery. Really, though a Housewife is capable of turning even a spa that has Valium-laced water into a place of chaos and crazy. 

Things began last night with Karent Sierra and her smile of denial continuing to see the RED RUM writing on the wall as a reminder to make mixed drinks. In short, Karent refuses to deal with reality. The next morning after learning that Rodolfo may or may not be dating a 24-year-old hottie she decides to just pretend all that yucky mess doesn't exist. I hope she's better at tackling dental problems than she is at dealing with real life. 

While Joanna Krupa and Lisa Hochstein would prefer to focus on their breakfast and making sure their hair and make-up look appropriately tussled and natural, yet perfect; Lea Black can take no more. She comes right out and asks Karent why she didn't defend her relationship to the other ladies after they accused her of faking it for the cameras. Karent just keeps that daft smile on her face. 

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On last week's episode of Real Housewives of Miami things got very, very real. Karent Sierra and her ever showing teeth was plopped down on a luxury sofa and basically called out for her boyfriend Rodolfo being a skanky, cheating, bastard!

Karent denied knowing about Rodolfo's antics and believes the ladies, led by Alexia Echevarria, planned to ambush her on camera to embarrass her! 

"Seeing Alexia tell Lea [Black] to come back to the house because she wanted to speak to her about something brought chills to my spine, because I couldn't believe the smile on her face," Karent writes in her Bravo blog. 

"We had decided to meet at a certain time for dinner and Lisa [Hochstein], Joanna [Krupa], and I ended up waiting for over an hour and a half for everyone else to arrive. After seeing the episode, I see now that the delay was all because of the scheming of how to perfectly ruin my night," Karent believes.

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Yes, you read that right! The nanny-challenged terminally boring to the point of a coma former Real Housewives of Miami star Larsa Pippen is going out on her own. 

Larsa was fired after one season of RHOM because viewers found her dull and couldn't relate to her storyline which consisted of complaining about all aspects of her fabulous life and degrading "the help." Meanwhile in the off-season Larsa's former NBA star husband Scottie Pippen maybe filed for bankruptcy because he might be broke.  

Currently Larsa spends most of her days parading around with Kim Kardashian for exposure on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, but now she's nobody's latch-key famewhore because she just scored her own show. Who do they think is going to watch that?

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Aaaaahhh… girls trip. Never a more ominous phrase in the reality TV vernacular, right? And last night it was no exception for the Real Housewives of Miami.

Like all girls trips it started off innocently enough; there were the usual shenanigans of missing identification, too much luggage, small plane anxiety, and of course master bedroom mayhem. But the new twist was 'Oops I caught your boyfriend cheating!' 

Yeah, Karent Sierra, her teeth, and her smile were bamboozled, blindsided, and backed into a corner. And for a second – just one, small, teensy-weensy second – her smile faltered, the shine of the veneers started to fade, and the future didn't look so blinding white and perfect. Karent learned an important reality TV lesson last night – don't eff with a Real Housewife because those girls are vicious. More vicious than piranhas and they will eat their own for relevance. Well, some of them. It was the initiation of a new Housewife in full force. 

Let's break this down, shall we. 

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Ana Quincoces has been relatively low-drama on this season of Real Housewives of Miami. The newbie housewife has seemed level-headed and mature with her biggest storyline revolving around her long-awaited divorce and her possible online flirtation with Karent Sierra's boyfriend. 

Speaking to NBCLatina, Ana explains why she decided to join the show and once again sets the record straight on her non-relationship with Rodolfo

“I thought I had a really good story to tell with my divorce situation and teaching how to do divorce the right way, if there’s such a thing,” Ana shares. “So I think that’s why I was willing to tell my story – and people are finding it inspiration to some extent. I’m humbled by that.”

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