Ahhhh… New Jersey, where class goes to die. Oh, I joke! What I should say isReal Housewives of New Jersey– where class goes to die. So Chris Laurita tried to be all sophisticated-like and invite these imbeciles to a vineyard he is hoping to sign a business deal with. So, just read that sentence back to yourself again and then pause – no logic, right? Well, I guess he needed Bravo to expense his business trip.
This episode had a lot going on from friendship and family drama to marital discord, but the important thing, the crazy thing, the most ridiculous thing was Joe Giudice andAlbert Manzo‘s highly intense discussion about KFC. Was there or was there not a KFC on some street, in some random Jersey suburb?! There they are on a bus bitching about biscuits. This warrants a very terse and snippy discussion peppered with F-bombs and lots of ‘I ate extra crispy every day dammit, I know where the bleeping KFC is dumb a$$.’ “You’re a loser!” Albert yells. Yeah… grown men over there!
Tonight is an all-new episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. We’ve been hearing for weeks about Joe Giudice‘s explosive phone call when he is captured on film referring toTeresa Giudice as his “bitch wife” among other things. Well, tonight it finally makes it on air!
Teresa recently appeared on the cover of In Touch Weekly, where she vowed to leave Joe if he was caught cheating and claimed Le Juicy one is “sorry” for his actions. Anyone see any pigs flying lately? Oh yeah… me either!
Well Reality Tea’s source tell us EXCLUSIVELY that Joe’s is anything but sowry and is tired of being second fiddle to Teresa’s RHONJ success. Those Giudices really make a lot of insincere apologies, don’t they?
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Cha-ching! Hear that? It’s the sound of Teresa Giudice cashing in on her humiliation with another magazine cover! She’s embarrassed, y’all! If you recall, her husband Juicy Joe calls her a not so nice word on the upcoming episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. He’s such a sweet talker.
As we all know, when Teresa has something to say–anything to say–she heads over to chat with her pals at In Touch Weekly…provided there is a cover up for grabs. And what cover would sell more magazines than one of a distraught and humiliated Teresa talking about her marriage to Juicy? It’s sheer marketing genius.
Sometimes, just sometimes, keeping things to yourself can do a world of good. For instance the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey could maybe, just maybe, not announce their every breath, snark, slight, and petty offense on Twitter. I mean they do realize lots of people see it don’t they? Which is the point, I know, but still c’mon. Quit selling your dignity for gossip.
So in the latest infraction heard round the world? interwebs? apparently Sunday was Antonia Gorga‘s birthday (another one?) and the Gorgas didn’t have a party because they may or may not ever have them.
Melissa Gorga says Antonia didn’t want a party cause she wants to go to some amusement park instead. But that’s not the point, apparently Aunt Teresa Giudice was accused of barely recognizing Antonia’s blessed day because she tweeted a happy birthday.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies (and their omnipresent hardworking spouses) proved that when push comes to shove and contracts are on the line, they can get along like really, really well. In fact the only people not pasting on their happy faces were Caroline Manzo and husband Albert – who I was surprised to hear speak last night.
Things begin with a wake-up binge drink-a-thon amongst the men. The gang decides they are going surfing despite the freezing cold water and their inebriated state of mind. Everyone except Caroline and Al. They prefer whine to wine. Jacqueline Laurita is also sitting this one out because she feels too fat to wear a wetsuit. Didn’t she have this problem last vacation?
Never willing to spare anyone’s feelings both Teresa Giudice and separated at birth sister-in-law Melissa Gorga both strap on some of their more bodacious, sparkly, and revealing bathing suits. ‘LOOK! I’m not fat!’ they both practically shout. The guys are wiping out left and right when Teresa and Kathy Wakile decide to try out their surfboard skills. Melissa is staying ashore to “keep it sexy,” which apparently equals bedazzled. Very, very bedazzled. Like blindingly so.
Once Dina quit reality TV, her relationship with Caroline and sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita fell apart. Caroline has blamed Teresa for the falling out and Dina has vehemently denied this. On a recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live, Dina discussed her current relationship with Caroline and why things went awry.
Well, that didn’t take long, did it? Yesterday we reported that Real Housewives of New Jersey’sJoe Giudice calls his wife a less than flattering name on the upcoming episode…while he’s on the phone with a woman he refers to as “baby” no less! While most women would be humiliated to have their husband say such a nasty thing to them–in private OR on national television, Teresa Giudice is doing what she does best. Denial, baby!
Not that any of us should be at all shocked, right? Appearing on The Couch talk show, Teresa addresses the public’s perceived issues of her relationship with Juicy Joe. She explains, “There’s no trouble in our marriage, Joe and I are happily married. You can’t listen to everything that’s out there.” Even if it comes from your own husband’s mouth and it’s caught on film? You don’t even listen then?