Remember that Lindsay Lohan movie "Freaky Friday" where the mom became the kid and the kid suddenly morphed into the mom role after they were both struck by lightening or something? Yeah – that was last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey!
As the adults continued to behave childishly and bicker pettily over everything imaginable, the kids were able to give them a little lesson in communication, letting bygones be bygones, and focusing on the positive!
Before we get to all that, things begin with the cast recovering from the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. While none of them lost their primary homes, Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga both had their shore homes damaged. "My house… what happened??" they both wail – as a flood of last summer's empty bronzing bottles and sequined bikinis wash over their feet. 'All my marble deck furniture like suuuunk! Waaaah… and what about my rhinestone encrusted jet ski Joeeew' Ok – so the editors cut that out, but you KNOW that's what really happened!
First of all, yes we heard the rumors that Teresa Giudice's alleged cooking-based spinoff is happening and in the casting phases, buuuuut… we're still investigating that!
Regarding a so-called Madame Juicy spinoff, Andy Cohen was questioned and played coy.
“Maybe, you never know,” Andyhinted to Wetpaint. “We don’t like to spin everybody off, we like to go slowly.”
In other words; brace yourselves because you know – and I know – it's coming. Teresa will be spun-off! Rumor has it, Teresa doesn't want a spinoff based on her personal life, but Bravo is hoping to capture the Joe Giudice's trial and how that will potentially affect Teresa's family and life.
In other news concerning the Real Housewives of New Jersey star: tonight is the season premiere! Teresa will not only be torturing or gracing us with her presence (depending on how you look at it) on tonight's epic premiere, she'll also be appearing on WWHL. Pace yourself with the Fabellinis, kids!
As we countdown to the apocalypse…errrr… I mean the premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey season 5, we are reminded of all the scary times of season's past! From the epic fights to the ridiculous comments to the hair – oh the hair! And the parties. And the leopard!
At the center of all the gold lame and marble overload is of course one woman, besieged by sequins, bubbies out: Teresa Giudice! It wouldn't be RHONJ without you, girl!
So on T-4 days until the premiere let's countdown Teresa's most outrageous moments. She looks so innocent, but behind those eyes lies stonecold crazy!
Kathie Lee points out right away that Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga are peacefully sitting side by side. She asks if there has been any thawing between the volatile sisters in law. Teresa shares, "we're in a good place now. When you watch the show you'll see how we got there. You'll see our journey." Melissa chimes in with, "it was a long road to get to where we are. When see us in the premiere, you see us how we left off at the reunion." So, expect fighting and hostile insanity.
Kathie Lee asks what initially caused the rift between them. Melissa says it was "the whole strippergate thing and the set up" and Teresa jokes that it was all over "sprinkle cookies".
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You didn't really think that Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice would actually get along on the upcoming season of Real Housewives of New Jersey, did you? As much as these two preach family and forgiveness, it's hard to get past stripper allegations and the desire for siblings to value blood over marriage. You know how it is.
With the fifth season of the Bravo hit right around the corner, the women are flocking to whatever media outlet that will listen to air their dirty bedazzled laundry while at the same time claiming to be in a "better place." Sure.