Last night on Manzo’d With Children the Manzo spawn were in for a rude awakening – particularly Lauren! Caroline Manzo is concerned about Lauren facing the realities of Vito’s income bracket instead of Al and Caroline’s. She wants to prepare Lauren for real married life… by letting Lauren and Vito live at home forever? And Albie took one small step in defying mommy by giving his sexy ex-girlfriend Britt another chance despite Caroline and Lauren’s disapproval. Time for Caroline to cut not only the apron strings, but the Chanel purse strings as well!
It’s morning in Manzo-land which means Caroline comes downstairs to a trashed kitchen and three lethargic kids standing around demanding breakfast. Lauren has been using the island as a makeup studio and Al’s credit card for everything – she’s never paid for gas in her life (and doesn’t think she should have to). Caroline rampages about how the kids don’t clean up and act like immature brats expecting her to do everything for them. What does she expect after all her microMOMaging. Caroline is especially pissed because she’s supposed to be going on a tennis date with Al.
Last night on Manzo’d With Children Mother’s Day was celebrated with a throwback photoshoot, Albie and Chris still pretended they don’t have jobs, and Lauren decided to never leave home again. Actually they barely leave the kitchen… what is happening in the rest of that house!?
Caroline Manzo is stressed. First Chrissofart left mommy and is now debauched in Hoboken. Now Lauren, about to be married to Vito the living incandescence of an Al-flavored mozzarella ball, wants to MOVE. OUT. Caroline cannot have this.
Caroline tries to convince Lauren that she and Vito should just stay at home to save their money, because Caroline is not giving them a downpayment on a house – only utilities in her house! This is what passes for responsibility in Manzo-land? Shouldn’t Lauren already have savings given that she’s been living with her mother her entire life? Caroline would prefer they make the ‘smart choice’ to live with her until they can afford to buy a nice (re: luxury) instead of living someplace dumpy (see: Crissofart’s apartment).
But Vito doesn’t want to live with Ma and Pa Smothers, he wants the freedom to show his love to Lauren and admits to his fiancé that he wouldn’t feel comfortable “in the bedroom” living at her mother’s. Does Lauren care what Vito thinks or wants? #RhetoricalQuestion.
It was likely a double celebration as Amber finished her last round of radiation a few weeks ago. At the time, she toasted the occasion with a friend, writing “Last day of radiation. A little celebratory wine with my girlfriend @constantina2015 ! #rhonj #friends #fucancer.”
Happy Anniversary to Joe and Melissa Gorga! Today the couple celebrates 11 years of poison injections!
Melissa shared a special message to her beloved via instagram about their marriage. “And in the blink of an eye it’s been 11 years Happy Anniversary @joeygorga You’ve put me on a pedestal since day 1. I love you more than I can say #myheart.”
Kimadded, “THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! This is the text I got from my boss this morning!! Tears were streaming down my face feeling soooo blessed, so grateful! I love you guys!! #ThankYouGod #ThankYouToAllMyFans #Celebrate”
So apparently not a soul in New Jersey is currently in the market for a shore house swathed in the scent of Bain de Soleil, moscato, and Joe Giudice’s sweat and failure. I know…I’m as shocked as y’all are. However, we’ll just chalk it up to yet another financial scar on the credit report of the Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Juiciest duo.
With the table-flipping, Italian-cooking, Fabellini-swilling Teresa Giudice behind bars for fraud–and Joe entering the clink once his wife serves her sentence–those owed copious amounts of cash thanks to the reality pair’s shady dealings are trying to recoup what little of their investments are left. Most recently, the beach house the Giudice clan called their weekend getaway was part of a foreclosure sale. Who was lucky enough to score the keys to such a special piece of reality television history? Welp….
Back in July, Andy Cohenclaimed to have no knowledge of rumors that Joe and family were in talks with Bravo about filming a special. Regarding the series happening, Andy slyly evaded, “If it is, I have nothing to do with it.” Hmmm. Is Andy taking lessons from the Giudices’ lawyer about building a solid defense? Deny, deny, deny.
Andy said the number one question he got for Caroline was… would she ever return to Real Housewives of New Jersey? She said, “No.” Caroline said to Andy, “We’ve had this conversation. You’re better to answer that question than me.” Andy joked, “You always add a lot of zeros to it [the pay she’d accept].”