Sometimes I watch these shows and I have no idea what happens. It’s just a passive aggressive cluster eff of pinot slurring, sloshing, and rambling. On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York it was just one big Poopy the Pig moment after another.
So where shall we begin? Ahhh… the bellows of an UES town home situmatated next to a parking garage. No bueno. In the belly of the beast sits Sonja T. Morgan, wearing the merest blush of pink, sipping her water and preparing to be wowed by the business savvy of Heather Thomson and her Yummy Tummy brand expert.
There is also a surprise guest: Pinot Singer, sporting what I can only describe as an outfit straight from Gianni Versace’s 1992 collection. Oh, that blouse with that belt. Please – save this woman from both her pinot and her dated wardrobe.
So yeah, Heather and her brand people arrive and it’s head-butting and butt-head acting and sniping and waffling and furtive glares and Ramona holding court like she’s Sonja’s bodyguard. She’s interrupting and speaking over people and acting like people take her seriously. All of Heather’s team was just eying her warily and mentally assessing that based on this shenanigan Sonja’s toaster oven was going to burn.
Quick question…how can you tell when people just want to live their lives in the reality television spotlight? Apparently the answer lies within VH1’s show Couples Therapy. It seems to be the show that has-been reality couples go to revive their careers (how’s that working out, Guard and ProtectKasey Kahl?). Even the couples who are adamant about their strong unions seem so seek out the “self-help” show when they fall off the reality radar.
Case in point? Silex. Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen were attached at the hip for their seasons on Real Housewives of New York. The goo-goo-ga-ga couple often bragged about their intense connection and spending minimal time apart. In fact, the couple spent a ridiculous amount of time looking down their noses at their counterparts for not having as strong a union as they shared…maybe by “union” I mean wardrobe…
Well LuAnn, knowing from experience, warns Adrienne not to let a reality show interfere with her marriage or her family. I mean after all, one doesn’t want to become a disgraced discountess!
“Don’t let reality TV mess with your family,” the Real Housewives of New York star warns Adrienne. LuAnn has experienced her husband’s infidelity (and her own) becoming a show plot-line and she has also been involved in accusations against her teenaged daughter on the show.
If there’s one thing that’s comforting aboutPinot Singer, it’s that she just doesn’t ever get it – or learn from her gaffes. Following an episode of Real Housewives of New York that showcased her wackitude self-centeredness and social faux pas; Ramona has taken to her Bravo blog to defend the indefensible. Oh brother…
First of all Ramona claims she was only protecting castmate Aviva Drescher by demanding she stop having fun and immediately come inside for dinner. Who else had memories of their mother shouting, “You’ll get pruney!”?
Revealing Aviva asked for her help, Ramona states: “Aviva was freaking out to me saying she forgot her swimming leg she didn’t know what she was going to do. She was in a major panic. She was worried how it would look if everyone went in the pool but her.”
“I of course being protective said, ‘Don’t worry, I won’t get into the pool, I won’t take off my cover up. I’ll just stay on the edge so you won’t stand out by not going in,'” Ramona insists.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York was a hot mess of faux pas, inappropriate comments, and geriatric sexual harassment. I guess you could call this episode the George & Ramona show, because well that’s what happened. The two of them demonstrated that their concept of social etiquette evaporated sometime around the dinosaur era as they fought to one-up each other in the rude and out-of-control category.
Maybe Aviva Drescher was trying to get her dad some air time to gain relevance, maybe he acted more out of order than usual because he was hoping to stage a fifth wind career revival – who knows, but you and I both know Andy Cohen loves an old sassy so Papaviva will be making an appearance on WWHL very soon.
Before all that happened Carole Radziwill also headed to Miami for a one-day Bravo sponsored trip to visit her friend, jewelry designer Ranjana Khan. Ranjana also does this thing called face yoga as a side-job. Basically it was yet another chance for her to advertise her product – and for Carole to call out LuAnn de Lesseps on “friend jumping.” Is this going to become a thing? I makes me think of Heathers meets Tremors.
Anyway, Aviva calls to inform Carole that things withRamona Singer are going, well, the way things always go with Ramona – like rancid unchilled pinot drank out of a Tupperware container. That’s a metaphor for BAD. Carole is like ‘Oh tee-hee… I’m not going to make enemies of Ramona – that bish is psycho. I just call her bunny, because she’s got so much energy.’ Aviva, feeling like she just ran a half-marathon with a hang-over, lamely agrees.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, I suppose!
According to the NY Daily News, a couple weeks ago the former Housewife received a “strong-worded letter” from Bravo execs concerning her weekly vlogs. Essentially Alex‘s secret-spilling has prompted a “put a lid on it” summation from the network.
An insider reveals that producers and executives are extremely unhappy that Alex has revealed that portions of the plot are influenced or manipulated by producers.
Cast members of The Real Housewives of New York got together to hit a garage sale over the weekend! OK, we know it wasn’t your typical yard sale where they had to touch the no-longer-wanted items of peasants, but instead a charity event.