The women of Real Housewives of New York are a classy bunch, that can't be denied. They are reserved, educated, and charitable. Oh, wait.
Someone call Joe Francis because Sonja Morgan and Ramona Singer are Middle-Aged Broads Gone Wild! While vacationing in St. Barts for the cast trip, the ladies enjoyed lots of booze, parties, cat fights and sexy time. The kickers? Most of their antics were so insane that they couldn't be shown on Bravo. The raciest moments of the trip were relegated to the cutting room floor, but I have some of the deets. However, don't say I didn't warn you…if you are concerned you make accidentally picture some of these things in your head, then click at your own risk!
Stop the presses and pour me a Skinnygirl margarita! On second thought, don't…I prefer my cocktails to taste good and go straight to my hips.
I have some wonderful news that will excite the masses. Whether you're a diehard Bethenneedy fan, a Bethennybody-else-but-her hater, or a passive and neutral Frankel, my dear, I don't give a damn, you are going to like what I have to say! Well, that third group probably couldn't care less, but the others–oh, the others!–will be thrilled! P.S. I'm working on a trademark for my newly coined phrases, so use at your own risk. TM, Ms. Frankel, TM!
Anyhoo, can you guess who this post is about? Anyone? Real Housewives of New York veteran and purveyor of Hoppylicious spin-offs and diet liquor concoctions Bethenny Frankel made an announcement earlier Monday on her website. The post was aptly titled "My Big Announcement." You have to give her credit, Bethenny always has been a straight shooter!
Last night on Real Housewives of New York one special housewife had a resurgence of adolescence when all she talked about was me, me, me, mememememememmememememe! Yep – one whole long hour of Aviva Drescher, her phobias, the horrible St. Barths psycation, and her problems with Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Cum. Luckily Heather Thomson was there to speak for the masses, be the voice of reason, and finally suggest that she maybe just LET. IT. GO.
Things begin with a dinner party in a lovely UES apartment. Attending the party are siamese twins Pinot Singer and Sonja Morgan and their frienemy LuAnn de Lesseps. Apparently all three ladies share a mutual friend who is probably looking for camera time because she's selling her apartment, her recipes, her interior design business, her dignity, her husband, whatever…
LuAnn lets us know things have been strained with Jacques since she told him about the incidents in St. Barths, mainly pertaining to a late-night episode in piratry, so she's been giving him extra reassurance that she cares.
The National Enquirer (quick break to snicker) recently announced that George's current girlfriend, knock-out Stacy Kiebler is reportedly uber jealous to learn of his former fling.
Carole insomuch as admitted the hook-up, tweeting: “I don’t kiss and tell, but if I did, I’d say Clooney was a very good kisser…” Which infuriated an already "extremely jealous" Stacy.
Apparently the problem lies in the fact that George never told Stacy about his sexytimes with Carole! “Stacy knows he’s hooked up with a lot of other women before they started going out. But she thought she knew about all of them. Now Stacy is wondering who else George didn’t tell her about.”
Following Monday's crazy St. Barths finale I have a feeling the Real Housewives of New York still haven't recovered from the vacation no one ever needed (or wanted!). Thanks Bravo.
Heather Thomson managed to be in a small minority (re: party of two) of people who didn't embarrass the hell out of themselves and lose their sanity (or their underwear), which is commendable given the environment. Again, thanks Bravo!
When asked if the show has changed her life – or her business – Heather agreed that there was definitely a "big change".
"When I first signed on for the show, I expected it to be a really four solid months of my life. It's not. It's a year, it's a full-time job. It never stops. I mean, from filming the show to the talking heads, the interviews, appearing on Andy [Cohen]'s show, to the press that you do to support the show and the cast — and of course I'm not going to not do all of that — so it's always on my agenda, every week. Even when we're done filming."
Last night on MTV Real World Spring Break, oh… errrr…Oops! I mean Middle-Aged (Wannabe) Girls Gone Wild. Oh… danggit – I mean Real Housewives of New York! There we go, that's the right show. Anyway, last night on RHONY the battle between Turtletime and Hurricane Aviva continued to rage. I think we're going to have to declare this one a draw because both these crazies went in circles like a typhoon and I don't think anything was resolved!
So things begin with a little bitching and arguing over what else – girls trip vs. couple's retreat. What about therapeutic retreat? Why didn't Bravo call in some therapists to assist with the lunacy and sit everyone down for a good ol' " I feel" session followed by some team building exercises?
Over breakfast, Reid and Russ are present and this is not acceptable. A clearly hung-over Sonja Morgan is shoveling in the food at warp speed and complaining about being called white trash. Pinot Singer and Sonja try to "pretend" they have no idea what that even means and hop on Google for a little investigative research. They get on dictionary.com and are most surprised to find a photo of themselves right next to the description. Oh, that can't be because White Trash means "poor" and they are not poor. They are just bankrupt and married to (or divorced from) money. Then someone distracts them by yelling wine and they decide oh, well at least White Trash means you're nice and it doesn't have anything to do with being inhospitable anyway.
LuAnn de Lesseps has been in the spotlight a lot recently – for all the wrong reasons! The Real Housewives of New York star has been accused of cheating on camera with a very dashing young pirate. LuAnn emphatically denies that any sort of misdeeds took place, but sometimes the lady doth protests too much!
In a new interview with the Miami New Times, LuAnn discusses the alleged cheating and how this season has been different with Jill Zarin and Alex McCord out of the picture!
"I was really, really sad about that," LuAnn says of learning Jill was fired. "Jill is the one that got me on the show. I met Jill and she said, 'I think you would be perfect!' I really miss Jill and Kelly [Bensimon]. Alex and Simon [van Kempen] I could live without." The feelings must be mutual as Simon recently did an interview in which he openly wondered if LuAnn was a "liar" or a "slut!"