If you were watching last week’s Real Housewives of Orange County, you know there was an quite the jaw dropping scene, and I’m not talking about Alexis Bellino’s birthday speech. Vicki Gunvalson and newlywed daughter Briana Culberson got into quite the war of words regarding Vicki’s new beau Brooks Ayers and Briana’s new husband Ryan…you know, the guy who took Vicki’s one and only daughter to a drive-thru wedding chapel. She just can’t get over that, can she? Briana even goes as far as saying that her mother was having an emotional affair with Brooks while still married to Donn. Vicki discusses the fight in this week’s Bravo blog:
When I was in Briana’s condo having this terribly heated discussion with her, I knew no matter what I said, I wasn’t going to convince her to accept Brooks and I dating. For that matter, no matter what she said was not going to convince me that marrying Ryan so quickly was the best decision either. I believe no matter who I was dating, she would have reacted the same way. It wasn’t Brooks in particular; it was me dating in general.
What you didn’t see is I left her home in tears, and just sat in the street and prayed, cried, and prayed some more. I realized it was not the end of the world if my daughter does not like the man I am dating.
Well that was certainly shocking wasn’t it? Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County had it all. There were princesses, and puppies, and inappropriately placed speeches, and engagement rings, and diarrhea, and luxury bathrooms where champagne happened but diarrhea did not, and trains, and surgery, and there was also that fight where Briana Culberson called Vicki Gunvalson out on having an emotional affair. Yeah – so how ’bout that bombshell? Whew… I’m still speechless!
So where do we begin with these fine orange specimens of botoxed, bleached glory? Oh, yes we start at the Barbie-ests of them all’s house – Princess Alexis von Nosenjob Boobersmidts Tannorexia of Rent-a-mcmansions (aka Alexis Bellino) She’s a stunning example of a queenly and dignified life. Princess Von Boobersmidts is on the precipice of the entertainment event of the year. The grand gala of puppies and princesses. A ball where all the fairest, and grandest, and “wealthiest” come from miles around. Descending down the steps of their giant SUVs covered in glitter and filled with fillers. Oh, it’s an event to say the least.
Yes, Alexis is throwing a princess puppy party for her four-year-old twin daughters Melania and McKenna. Alexis has assistants and party planners and movers shuffling around giant ornate over-stuffed hideous rent-a-couches in order to make room for the bevvy of puppies that will be dropped onto the scene the next morning. In the middle of all of this our very busy princess takes a break for a statelyevening ritual… spray tanning. She’s so busy, but a lady is nothing without her orange glow.
This past weekend Briana Culberson walked down the aisle with husband Ryan Culberson. Mother of the bride, Vicki Gunvalson called the affair beautiful and wonderful. Which is a far cry from the adjectives “disgusting” and “embarrassing” – which is how she described their elopement!
“I am proud to announce this past weekend we celebrated a beautiful destination wedding with 75 family members and their closest friends. It was a beautiful ceremony and celebration filled with love, dancing, and wonderful food,” the Real Housewives of Orange County star wrote in her Bravo blog. Reality Tea was able to obtain photos of the event!
CONTINUE READING FOR EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF BRIANA’S WEDDING!
Slave Smiley has repeatedly denied being employed by his girlfriendGretchen Rossi– he has also never really revealed where exactly he is employed. Back in his heyday when he was an American Express Black Card holder and kind of a big deal in the OC, Slade was a business man of sorts. Well when the economy tanked so too did his career prospects which began his rather unlucrative venture of latching onto the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County!
As of recently, Slave has seemingly been acting as Gretchen’s manager of sorts and now he – or rather Gretchen – is campaigning for a stint on Celebrity Apprentice!
Yesterday some delusional admiring fans mentioned that Gretchen should be CA’s next Housewives member, Gretchen suggested Slave would be better suited for the gig (she, herself, is angling for a spot on Dancing With The Stars) and henceforth a Twitter campaign going by the name #Smiley4Apprentice popped up. Good lawd… help me.
There don’t seem to be too many takers so far, but never underestimate the power of a hashtag!
Alexis Bellino is everybody’s favorite ditzy, delusional, hypocritical Jesus Barbie and together with her husband Jim Bellino they have provided countless hours of amusement to us fans. Well, unfortunately, that may soon come to an end!
LA Late News is reporting that Jim and Alexis may be leaving Real Housewives of Orange County! Which would break my heart, I swear it! Jim has been repeatedly negative about the show: refusing to film, then refusing to appear with the other women on the show, then agreeing to film in diminished capacity while doing a weekly blog speaking out against the editing, the storylines, and the other Housewives.
“Shayne has been approached about joining the show,” a network source tells RadarOnline. “It’s early days still and it’s at the initial talks stage but there’s a real interest in her joining.” The source adds, “Producers are very interested in Shayne, as well as her husband Nik, combined they lead a pretty interesting and fun life!”
For your Friday dose of The Real Housewives of Orange County, we have three weddings and a divorce, and an on-and-off friendship that is apparently back on again. I’m sure I’ll be telling you differently on Monday!
And another Bravo Housewives marriage bites the dust. Lynne Curtin, the cuff selling, non-blinking, exercise fanatic from seasons four and five of RHOC, is planning to divorce her husband Frank. As you recall, the couple famously lived far above their means (which is apparently a qualification to be on the franchise), with Frank hiding the money woes from his wife and two daughters. The couple was even served with an eviction notice while being filmed for the show!
Yesterday Lynne announced, “After more than 20 years of marriage Frank and I have decided to go our separate way. I love Frank but it was time to go out on my own.”
“Who knows what the future holds, but I’m looking forward to doing the things that I want to do,” continues Lynne, adding that she has yet to file for divorce.
In a phone interview with the Orange County Register, Frank stated, “I’m not a willing participant in this. It hurts to even think about it or talk about it. Call me old-fashioned, but I take my vows very seriously.”
Well, it seems Mr. Hallmark has grown tired of filling the tank of Ms. Sugar Mama. Despite Vicki Gunvalson‘s protestations of everlasting love plus a lifetime supply of affirmations and Chicken Soup For The Real Housewives Soul, perhaps Brooks Ayerscan take no more!
RadarOnline is reporting that Vicki’s tanks are running on empty again as Brooks has soured on the relationship because people started poking into his scamming ways. “Brooks is totally at the point of dumping Vicki,” a source reveals.
Unfortunately he has developed a nasty case of famewhoreitis, which as we know from Kim Kardashian is just almost incurable! “Problem is, he really enjoys all the fame and attention that goes with dating her, so looks like he will be hanging on for a little longer to milk it for all it’s worth.” Whoa- I guess he’s also developed a case of Slave Slimeys! Gloaming onto a reality star in the desperate hopes that you’ll procure a spinoff. Sadly, as we’ve learned from Slave it’s just as likely that someone will go digging around into your past and find even more incriminating stuff!
It seems Brooks has left his four children in Mississippi and has been living with Vicki, but her OCD ways are little too much for the walking Nicholas Sparks quotation to bear. “He recently relocated to Orange County to be closer to her and that’s proven to be a complete disaster. He says he feels constantly irritated and annoyed by her and finds her possessive and controlling,” the source dishes. So, when she started buying his clothes three months into the relationship that wasn’t a sign?
“But, he loves being in the spotlight and really wants more fame for himself, and let’s face it, he’s not going to get that if he splits up with her right now.” Conundrum!