After yet another uncomfortable exchange withBethenny Frankel on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, Heather Thomson is weary. And wary. And in need of a Bethenny “handbook” on how to navigate future conversations about, well, anything! In her Bravo blog, Heather admits she was happy to see Bethenny at Carole Radziwill’s election party, but she found Bethenny’s reaction to their discussion about custody a bit shocking, considering Bethenny talks about it All.Of.The.Time. “Our talk about her custody of Bryn was a simple conversation to bring clarity to a topic she often discusses,” says Heather. “I just didn’t realize that only Bethenny can address it. I feel like there are a lot of unwritten rules with her. What you can ask, what you can say, how you can feel…it’s a little tough to navigate.”
“Even silly small talk about a tattoo idea is difficult,” Heather continues. “I’ve been dying to cover an old one and had just seen Maleficent, which was so well done, and I was inspired! But Bethenny, however, is not. Maybe a handbook would be helpful?!” Also, Heather’s joy over Carole winning board election is equal to her joy over Sonja Morgan actually conjuring some semblance of a product line (or, let’s face it, a single product) at her Latino Show Magazine party. Offering that Sonja’s cover and editorial spread were “beautiful,” Heather adds, “Sonja is easy in front of a lens. She photographs beautifully, and the pictures were gorgeous–including the double truck (two-page ad spread) announcing the launch of her brand. I remain supportive of Sonja and was excited to meet her team for the first time and learn more.”
After the emotional hot-n-cold ride Bethenny Frankel’semotions took on last night’s Real Housewives of New York, she feels she has some ‘splainin to do. So, here it is, in the form of this week’s Bravo blog! Bethenny starts by explaining why she felt Carole Radziwill was the – er, appropriate? – audience she needed for an emotional meltdown over her custody and divorce troubles. “You know how sometimes you can confide in a stranger more easily than someone you’re close with? Well, there is a lot that people don’t know about my personal life, and let’s just say that emotions creep out in unexpected ways,” she says. “I have had a rough time, and I was particularly raw. I broke down in CB2, which I’ve renamed ‘Cry Baby 2.’ Carole was perfect in that situation. I am not a huge hugger, either, and I just needed to let it out.”
As for Heather Thomson’sattempts to plumb Bethenny’s emotional depths over 3-year old de-thawed cocktail wieners at Carole’s election party, Bethenny wants none of it. No thanks, mama. “Heather is very inquisitive and likes to get deep quickly,” says Bethenny. “She is just curious, concerned, and a little touchy feely at times. I believe it comes from a good place. I am just guarded and not always trusting. As Dorindasays, I’m a squirrel, so really fast moves make me run. Custody conversation is very personal, and I was just not there, nor will I probably ever be.” Does Heather not know you can’t “Holla!” at a squirrel?
Things begin with another birthday – this time the birthday belongs to Dorinda Medley, who is turning 50. She wants to celebrate by returning Ramona to a place of torment and doom: The BERKSHIRES. Ramona gets the sniffles and can’t breathe. She fans herself. Her thumbs twitch as she texts her friend with the private plane to be on retainer. Just kidding – Ramona actually has a cold, but that’s not gonna stop her from going on a date. Ramona’s tissues bring all the boys to the yard! And they’re like her germs are better than mine!
Dorinda Medley‘s greasy, lascivious boyfriend John Mahdessian has been much-discussed on Real Housewives Of New York. John, who looks like he’d be a better fit as a Real Housewives Of New Jersey husband, proves you can’t judge a book by its cover!
Even though John has gotten off on the wrong foot with nearly all the ladies from being caught red-handed without Dorinda, to being caught with his hand on Sonja’s butt, to Ramona complaining that John is a nobody using Dorinda for her fabulous Upper East Side lifestyle. But is he really?!
John, whose family owns Madame Paulette (dubbed the “Sultans of Stains”), a NYC establishment famed for their ability to restore and clean even the most delicate of couture and vintage, turns out to be the most well-known (and well-respected) person on RHONY! Madame Paulette is the go-to cleaner for everyone from Anna Wintour to Lady Gaga to Beyonce and John’s affiliation with Vogue Magazine has landed him on the guest list of the MET Gala!
Sonja Morgan is so happy that her life is wonderful and therefore she doesn’t have to resort to trash-talking her friends behind their backs. And since Sonja thinks everything is hunky-dory, so should we!
Sonja begins by complaining that was nice to Heather Thomson even though Heather was “talking badly about my business behind my back,” but it is Carole Radziwill that she’s truly upset by. “What was with Heather’s BFF Carole knocking my consultations with a psychopharmacologist? Carole isn’t a doctor, and I don’t know why she thinks that she knows what’s in the best medical interest for me.” Yeah – we’re talking about a woman who willingly ingested testosterone for an “experiment.”
Hey Mama! Holla! Heather Thomson not only begins her Bravo blog with these dusty old Heatherisms this week; she spends a full paragraph defending them. That is, before she moves on to defending her good friend Carole Radziwill’srelationship with Adam, which has become a rather tiresome storyline on this season of Real Housewives of New York. Heather begins, “Holla! I have nicknames for everyone. It’s really just a term of endearment, and a way I like to connect with people. ‘Holla’ and ‘mama’ are part of my heritage. I’ve been using those terms for as long as I can remember,” she explains. As long as she can remember? Yes, indeed. 1993 called and wants its catchphrase back. Heather goes on to dive deeper into the riveting origins of “Holla.” “Holla actually came about on the show when a producer asked me for a ‘Heatherism’ to add to the end of my tagline. ‘Holla!’ naturally flowed out of me as a positive shout-out, and it stuck. I’ve never tried to be anything or anyone I’m not. I’m all about being positive and trying to build people up, rather than tear them down, and that’s what holla represents for me.”
Now that her Girl Scouts of America speech about the deep cultural and personal relevance of “Holla” is over, we can move on to an equally interesting topic: Carole’s love life! Heather says, “I’m happy for Carole. She’s excited about someone, and it’s because of chemistry! You can’t hide a chemistry that magnetic. It’s exciting to see your friends find happiness. I believeLuann [de Lesseps], at least the one I thought I knew, meant it when she said she was happy for Carole, too. Unfortunately, she’s changed her tune on that.”
She knows she’s a piece of work, but now she’s a…Zen Buddhist? In Ramona’s Singer’s Bravo blog this week, she keeps her thoughts short, sweet, and to the point (just like her insults). Reflecting on this past week’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York, Ramona concludes that she is blessed to be surrounded by good friends and family during this trying time in her life. She also expresses empathy with Bethenny Frankel’s struggle to reconcile the demons of her past with her present life.
Ramona begins by reflecting on the ladies’ trip to Atlantic City and her birthday bash with the menopause mamas of the Upper East Side. “It was great to go on a trip to Atlantic City with all the girls to celebrate my birthday. What was more important to me was to celebrate over a lunch with my 30 girlfriends of 20 years,” she says, adding, “My girlfriends who came to the luncheon have been so supportive of me over the past two years in this difficult time. They never made a judgment call and always advised me to do what makes me happy, and they would support me in any decision I made about my marriage. I am truly blessed by each and every one of them.”
After seeing Bethenny Frankel dive headlong into her past on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, she wants to remind us all that she’s not living in it anymore. In her Bravo blog, Bethenny assures viewers that “I, genuinely, am not angry.” But before she rehashes the tense (dare we say, angry?) conversation with her estranged stepfather on the episode, she addresses Kristen Taekman’s accusation that Bethenny isn’t spending enough time with the ladies due to her “childcare issues.”
Bethenny says, “Overall, there is a conversation about time spent with children. Pretty may be smarter than I think but not quite smart enough to realize that I’m going through a divorce, and my precious moments are divided.” Ooh, burn! She adds, “My balance as a mother and business person is knowing that I spend every moment possible with my daughter. The one thing that is said universally is that it goes by so quickly. I may have made some money, but I am not ‘nannied’ up, and I don’t go out with girlfriends when I can be with my child. ‘Child care’ doesn’t get me more time with my angel. As I said about the conversation withLuann [de Lesseps], this is the easiest decision I will ever have to make.”