There is so much to cover in this episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County. The drama was as fast-paced as a NASCAR race and just as laden with fiery crashes. It was hard to know where to look with all the insults speeding past. I think Heather Dubrow‘s wide-eyed, defied the effects of Botox, shocked face said it best. You know something’s big when it supersedes the glamour of a 22,000 square-foot house with its own luggage room, and a lunch menu that features “sparkle cauliflower!” (That sounds like something from the Gretchen Christine Bootay Collection).
Before all the hate comes love-ish. Vicki Gunvalson is getting into the business-side of filling love tanks and renting out her backyard for weddings, specifically the wedding of Tamra Judge‘s son Ryan. It also emerges that Vicki and Tamra attend the same church. Tamra is in chapter 2 of Bible For Dummies and is therefore ready to be baptized at the big church party. Dunking your head in a vat of wine does not count as accepting Jesus, Tamra.
Kyle and Kara announced they are expecting via instagram in an adorable video (which is below) and confirmed they are having a baby girl by sharing photos of baby-sized UCLA Bruins cheerleading gear and some hot pink Converse sneakers.
“I like big butts and I cannot lie…” begins Tamra Judge in her Real Housewives of Orange County Bravo blog. Need we read more? Well, we’re going to wade right through this sludge anyway! Tamra hits us this week with her reflections on booty workouts, the psychic powers (or lack thereof) of Scott, and her total innocence <side eye> in questioning the legitimacy of Brooks Ayers’“battle” with cancer. So, all aboard the crazy train! Here. We. Go.
Tamra begins with the inspiration behind her booty class, confessing, “unlikeShannon [Beador] I like a big booty, I think it’s sexy.” And apparently, she designed a class to prove this very point, and to use her friends as guinea pigs because CUT fitness doesn’t have enough members to fill a class. She jokes, “Shannon gets an A for effort! I know she has been working hard to get into better shape and I am very proud of her. I was peeing my pants watching her..haha.” Speaking of peeing, Tamra admits, “Let’s be honest any woman who’s had three or more kids pees a little when they run and jump. However, I have found that the more you run and jump and train those muscles the tighter they get. SO RUN SHANNON RUN.”
Meghan, the nanny with benefits, said she considered Jim‘s parenting advice. CONSIDERED. But, as we all know, she is never wrong about anything and has made it her life’s mission to fix the mistakes Jim and LeAnn made with Hayley.
“At lunch with Jimmy was the first time that I actually started to consider what he was saying about backing off of Hayley as a parent and just being there for her as a friend,” admitted Meghan. “I am not sure what to do, but I know that what’s been going on isn’t working. It’s hard for Jimmy because he has been in St. Louis for a large part of Hayley’s childhood in California and he’s frustrated when she doesn’t respect me and my rules. But he also understands that he can’t just jump into Hayley’s life full time and expect her to conform to his ways. We are at a crossroads with a 17-year-old.”
“Well here we go – the train has left the station so to speak regarding Brooks‘ cancer,” begins Vicki. “It’s interesting that Tamra’s ‘psychic’ and his accusation that Brooks doesn’t have cancer is being taken as the truth. Don’t we wish that was the case, but unfortunately it isn’t. Remember when you watch the rest of this season, I’m often put in situations where I’m surrounded by people looking to create drama. However, I don’t think this is funny or entertaining when we are talking about someone’s health. As you all know, Leanne (Jim’s first wife) passed away a few weeks ago and I had hoped she would beat her illness and unfortunately she did not. I’m still wondering in real life situations, would anyone really question someone’s diagnosis that was made by a licensed DOCTOR? I doubt it, but it makes for good TV doesn’t it?”
Shannon Beador didn’t mean to ruin Brooks Ayers’ birthday dinner. But Vicki Gunvalson was on the war path as soon as Shannon insinuated Vicki’s (now ex) boyfriend’s less than stellar reputation was again under attack. So, ruin it she did. Shannon defends her motives in this week’s Real Housewives of Orange County blog, as well as explains her struggles disciplining her children – and living through Tamra Judge’s booty workout class!
Noting that this week was not her favorite episode, Shannon begins by reflecting on the mangled attempt she and husband David made at disciplining their toilet-papering twins. Upset more about Stella hurting her foot during the TP-ing incident than the incident itself Shannon explains that the twins “have become more defiant and it is completely understandable with what they have been through in the last year. That being said, it was important for David and I to come up with some sort of ‘consequence’…It was David’s idea to write a letter. I thought it was a bit harsh, but went along with it. I was not excited that David reminisced about his prior bouts with pumpkin smashing as a child, but that is the humorous side of my husband.”
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County was psychic friends vs. psychotic love! The real question is – is a psychic really qualified to diagnose the validity of your cancer? Also, Shannon Beador pees herself when she runs – time for Lisa Rinna to get the ladies of RHOC a Depends connect.
Let’s just say this was an episode full of mixed messages – starting with Shannon’s parenting. Shannon’s pre-teen twins were caught toilet papering the neighbor’s house and Shannon is using this as an example of how she and David are a unified front. Shannon has NO tolerance for childhood pranks – she whips out her crystallizing zen goggles and attempts to stare her daughters down with the evil eyedometer set on ‘gentle,’ but her kids merely laugh. Shannon’s daughter Adeline calls Shannon out for being no fun unless she’s drunk and Shanon’s face freezes in a shocked expression.
Tamra Judge has found Jesus and with that comes a newfound relationship with the truth. Meaning Tamra says she’s telling it now. After being called a pot stirrer on last week’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County, Tamra is announcing who she thinks the real pot stirrer is: Heather Dubrow, will you please stand up in your Chanel!
Tamra also gives more insight on Meghan Edmonds stepmother boundaries and just why Meghan’s comments were so upsetting.
After last season Tamra insists she has learned from her mistakes and will no longer be the victim of she-said/she-said drama. Therefore after her drunken night out with Vicki and Shannon, Tamra decided to let Heather know that her friendship with Meghan (in addition to her friendship with Jimmy’s second ex, Allison) had been a topic of conversation. Little did Tamra know that would bite her in there CUT Fitness-toned ass too!