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Jersey Shore

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I'm not going to lie, but I've got some tissue on hand for the series finale of Jersey Shore.  I always get super teary when shows end…Zack and Kelly's wedding, the final Family Ties, Who's the Boss, and don't even get me started on Friends!  However, I can honestly say I've never gotten sad about the end of a reality show.  Hopefully, that's the norm.  I don't remember getting upset saying good-bye to any of the Real World casts (more like good riddance!), and I barely noticed when my fave Rosie Pope didn't get renewed.  However, for some odd and unknown reason, these orange meatballs and gorilla juiceheads are different. 

After being accosted by a friend to give the show a chance, I was appalled.  Who wears slippers out in public and thinks it's funny to show their Britneys while on the dance floor?  What idiots tan every day and use enough hairspray that we may have cause to sue them for global warming?  Sadly, I was quickly won over by Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Vinny Guadagnino, DJ Pauly D Delvecchio, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Deena Cortese, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola.  Yes, their antics showed no inkling of decorum or maturity, and yes, I was (and still am) grossed out by many of their actions, but in a world of reality television show where cast mates hate one another, it was beyond refreshing to see this group grow into a legitimate family.  I have no doubt that the majority of them will still be pranking each other in the assisted living facility.  Hanging out for a day with Vinny and Pauly is on my bucket list.  Instead of VPL being code for visible panty line, it would be Vinny/Pauly/Lauren.  I digress (what else is new?).  On to the recap…I'm wearing my favorite airbrushed tank top, my whitest pair of sneakers, and leopard print track pants.  My hand is wrapped around some Ron-Ron juice (kidding, I don't want to die!), and I'm ready to wish these imbeciles well.  Do you think it's a coincidence that their show ends the night before many doomsdayers think we're all goners?

The roommates have decided to throw a giant bonfire party on the beach.  They plan to invite all of their family and friends to commemorate their final MTV summer together.  Pauly and Vinny are in charge of getting wood.  Erection jokes ensue.  The wood won't fit in their vehicle, so Vinny is forced to wheel it home on the handcart while Pauly follows behind him in the SUV.  Classic VP.  A party rental place is delivering tables, chairs, and the like.  I guess these people can finally afford a legitimate party.  They even bring the grill to the beach.  Pauly lights the bonfire.  Oh yeah, fi-arh, yeah!

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X factor finale taping

Last night was the first part of the season finale of The X Factor.  Celebs gathered on the purple carpet to celebrate the finalists and show off some bad fashion. 

Aside from the X Factor contestants, hosts (Khloe Kardashian), and judges - Simon Cowell, Demi Lovato and Britney Spears, the crew from Jersey Shore turned out.  Snooki, JWoww, Vinny, Mike, Sammi, Ronnie and Pauly posed together ahead of their own final farewell tonight on MTV. 

Also in attendance last night was LeAnn Rimes.  She took some time off from singing about lusting after another woman's husband long enough to ruin what would've been a perfect performance by Carly Rose SoneclarLeAnn used to have an amazing voice, but this was a trainwreck!  

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TELL US – WHO WINS WORST DRESSED? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LEANN'S PERFORMANCE?

vin paul

Oh, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio…have you been cheating on me?  No?  Well, you've been cheating on MTV, although I can't say I blame you.  You were enticed by the dimples and flashy Kardashian representation that Ryan Seacrest provides.  I don't think anyone will judge you. 

The acronym creating, high hair wearing, "cabs are heeya" screaming star of Jersey Shore is getting a new show…and it's not on the network that made him an international reality star and a household name.  That's right.  He's potentially moving on to E!  What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to hop to another channel for more money.  I'm not hating, Pauly…I want you in my TV line-up regardless. 

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Jersey Shore is drawing to a close, and I'm equal parts sad and relieved.  Okay, so maybe not equal parts…I'm more relieved than sad.  Just like the shirt before the shirt, tonight is the episode before the finale.  I am going to miss these crazy kids.  They love each other without question.  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvechhio, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Deena Nicole Cortese, and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, I'm honestly going to miss you.  Call me.  Seriously.  And God speed. 

I realize they are probably too old to be the party animals they are at this age (although that throws a wrench in my social plans), but they are still human, vulnerable, and fun-loving.  You can't help but relate to that…or maybe you can't, but I can.

On last night's episode, the boys have recently made peace with JionniJenni calls Roger who reveals that Jenni has been pot stirring about Jionni's mismatched relationships with the guy roommates.  Jenni isn't happy that Jionni says she's been talking crap about her.  Rawn is quick to defend Jenni although he knows what was said at the guys' night out.  Jenni decides to go straight to the source and calls Jionni.  She questions why Jionni thinks that she's been talking smack.  As far as Jenni is concerned, Jionni wasn't present for the first half of the summer.  He bends, she forgives, and the pair loves each other for the sake of Snooki.

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With the final season of Jersey Shore completed, the cast has more time to hit up events and work on their passion projects and side businesses.  Last night Vinny Guadagnino hit up the season premiere party for Portlandia and took some time to dish with Tom Murro

Vinny shared that he's been keeping himself busy with his upcoming spinoff show.  He tells Tom, "I have my spinoff show taping, it's going well.''

Vinny also had some kind words for his co-star, Snooki.  The cast members have all been excited to see the changes in her lifestyle and are anxious to babysit for their new nephew.  Vinny calls new mom Snooki a "saint".  When asked how his pint-sized co-star is doing, he replied ''She's a saint, she's a completely different person now, she's an amazing mother! She's all about the baby!'' 

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If you've been watching anything on MTV, chances are you've seen previews for it's new reality show Buckwild.  It's like Jersey Shore, but with rednecks…and a lot of dangerous looking antics.  I think it would make Honey Boo Boo proud.

Remember when Italian Americans and the citizens of New Jersey had such an issue with our favorite GTLers?  Well, West Virginians and Southerners are feeling the same way about Buckwild.  I have to say though that all of this controversy is making me want to watch the insanity…even though, as a Southerner, I should be totally offended.

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Okay, so I guess it's time to say good-bye to Vinny Guadagnino, DJ Pauly D Devecchio, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Ronni Ortiz-Magro, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, and Deena Cortese.  I feel like I'm slowly bidding farewell to cousins I don't acknowledge.  Three episodes left?  It's devastating, y'all!

We resume the Jersey Shore with Vinny trying to make amends with Snooki's fiance Jionni…at his future son's baby shower no less.  It's super awkward.  Jionni questions Vinny about joking that Vin is the actual dad.  The conversation is seamless, and all is good in the land of Jionni and Vin.  Really?  I thought that MTV would have sprung for more drama.  Thankfully Jionni's insecurities don't get in the way of a bottle chugging contest.  Rawn wins.  Who is shocked?

Snooki loves unwrapping baby clothes, champagne, and wine, typical baby shower gifts.   Jenni asks Jionni to come around more often which basically calls him out for not being present up to this point.  Snooki is just thrilled for a baby day.  While she still can't look at Mike, she's excited about all of her presents.  Mike is planning his entrance for when he can finally make amends with Snooki.  After a Mike-Snooki video montage, Sitch heads to Nicole's apartment.  I'm unsure as to whether this is part of his twelve step program.  Yikes.

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With just three more episodes left of Jersey Shore, JWoww and Snooki are going to send it off in style.  The finale is on December 20th, but the Shore girls will reunite just 2 weeks later for New Year's Eve. 

MTV has invited JWoww and Snooki to be the co-hosts for their New Year's Eve party: Club NYE 2013. 

The Jersey Shore guidettes will be joined by musical guests Ke$ha (Jenelle Evans is packing her car for the road trip as we speak), Ne-Yo, Sean Kingston, Rita Ora (so we can rule out Rob Kardashian attending) and Conor Maynard. 

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