Real Housewives of New York

Andy Cohen wants Simon van Kempen and his red leather pants to shut. up. The former Real Housewives of New York househusband has been spending his days trolling twitter talking Housewives and apparently working on his “social media company.”

Recently Simon decided to call Bravo out on some antics about the casting of this season’s RHONY and Andy had enough!

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Having a deadbeat dad on the cast roster is rapidly becoming a Real Housewives rite of passage. Hopefully it’s not going to replace the speakerphone invite!

The latest accused deadbeat comes in the form of serial Housewives-schtuper Harry Dubin. Oh dear… According to the New York Post, Aviva Drescher is accusing her ex of being delinquent in child support and other related fees and alleges that he owes her $294,372 for their son Harrison, 10.

Aviva also claims Harry owes $50,000 in private school and summer camp fees. Harry, probably busy fornicating with a Housewife somewhere, forgot he had a child and completely denies owing a red cent.

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Last week Bethenny Frankel addressed her feelings on Real Housewives of New York. The newly minted talk show host admits that she occassionally tunes into the show that made her a household name and that she wishes nothing but the best for former co-star nemesis Kelly Bensimon.

“I wish Jill [Zarin] the best. I wish Kelly the best,” Bethenny told the audience. “Honestly, it was an experience that I’ll never forget and the year with the first five of us is definitely very nostalgic.” A video of Bethenny discussing her time on RHONY is below.

Well, because Kelly is still apparently very concerned about Bethenny and because she really doesn’t have anything else going on wants to keep her name in the press, she is responding to Bethenny’s comment with some niceties of her own.

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Once upon a time there was a woman named Pinot Singer who thought she knew a lot about everything and thought no one could see through her. Pinot believed her life was like one of those double-sided mirrors where from one side it looked like a window and from the other side it looked like a mirror. She assumed she could clearly see people and they could see only goodness through her eyes.

Pinot believed  she reflected goodness, honesty, truthfulness, and pleasant goodwill. Pinot was wrong. Pinot is delusional, but delusion is a powerful drug – more powerful than pinot grigio, that’s for sure!

Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies assembled for a mid-day brunch, everyone but Pinot and LuAnn de Lesseps. Thank goodness. I’m not sure what time it was, but there they all were; this gaggle of desperate famewhores (and Carole Radziwill) all dressed up as if they were going to a nightclub when it was 1 in the afternoon, outside, in a dowtown restaurant.

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Bethenny Frankel may be over reality TV, but that doesn’t mean she’s not involved. The hubris that is Bethenny is now taking credit for helping to get Jill Zarin fired to hire Aviva Drescher on Real Housewives of New York!

Speaking to the NY Daily News, Bethenny says that she is responsible for Aviva getting her new job! “I actually cast one of them,” she claims. “I cast Aviva. I’m the reason she’s on the show.”

Bethenny says she knows Aviva through a mutual friend. “She is from the upper East Side of Manhattan and was married to somebody that I know,” Bethenny shares. Please tell me Bethenny didn’t also sleep with Aviva’s ex-husband, Harry! “She just seemed like she’d be a good character. She seemed like she’d be part of some drama also on the show.”

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Jill Zarin clearly has too much time on her hands – and clearly she has not taken former BFF Bethenny Frankel‘s advice to “Get a hobby!” (Which in case you didn’t know is one of my top reality TV insults of all time!) The former Real Housewives of New York star has repeatedly claimed she is relieved she was fired out of one corner of her mouth, while out of the other corner she advocates her fans let Bravo know they made a mistake in firing her. Clearly she has trouble letting go. So much trouble that she reportedly crashed LuAnn de Lesseps‘ premiere party!

Jill as made it known that she will not watch the show, but I suppose she’s changed her mind  – after all she needs something to keep her name in the press as clearly Skweeze Couture isn’t doing it. Following last Monday’s episode featuring the mommy wars between Pinot Singer and Jill’s made-for-TV buddy LuAnn, Jill wrote a scathing blog posted to her website about the show and Ramona.

Among the comments Jill made, she implies that Ramona is an alcoholic which may just be the worst kept secret in reality television and mocked this season’s low ratings as a result of her being fired! Jill has since deleted the blog, citing that she was advised to “sleep on it” in a tweet. Well Reality Tea was able to procure a copy from one of our sleuthy readers!

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York was pretty low-key and I have to say after all the recent drama with certain other Housewives shows it was refreshing to watch a show that focused on the lives of rich, fabulous women instead of fabricated drama and petty fights. Well there was one petty fight, but it paled in comparison to other recent fights on other Housewives shows. And really I never thought there would come a day when I referred to Pinot Singer as low-key, and she’s not by any normal standards, but alas the pinot hath frozen over.

Things open with Aviva Drescher and her husband Reed meeting Heather Thomson and her husband for a getting to know you dinner. Over salads, Heather shares that though her husband is the son of a famous rabbi and they practice Judaism, she is not a full convert. No, no… she’s merely Jewish by injection only. Well, since there’s no shots the doctor can give you to make you Jewish, I’m going to assume the injection comes from her husband’s kosher sausage.

Among the other shocking revelations that came over dinner was the lurid story of Sonja Morgan and LuAnn de Lesseps bedroom activities and their proximity to Aviva‘s ex-husband. Boy, this man is busy on the Housewives circuit! Is he going to make his way to other franchises? Apparently Harry attended Heather‘s birthday party (does he know everyone associated with this show?) where it was disclosed (discovered?) that he slept with both Sonja AND LuAnn. When – no one seems to know – but it was presumably after the time when Aviva was married to him. A surprised Aviva handled the news with dignity, but disgust. I don’t know about you, but that would be a little too close to comfort for me!

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I’m guessing the newcomers on Real Housewives of New York didn’t realize they would be jumping back into last season!  With Jill Zarin, Kelly Bensimon, and Alex McCord out of the picture, it seems like the Count(l)ess LuAnn and Pinot Singer are vying to see who will be the biggest, baddest housewife in all the Upper East Side land.  The claws are out, which isn’t surprising given this pair.

On the season premiere, Countless told her new co-stars of Ramoana’s threat regarding her children.  The maven of manners also demanded an apology for last season’s drama during a party.  I find her public admonishment of ol’ Crazy Eyes a tad hypocritical, given there is, according to LuAnn, a time and a place for everything.  For example, you don’t talk about losing a parent over drinks with friends.  It’s poor form.  However, making others uncomfortable at a party is completely acceptable behavior.  In her Bravo blog, she explains it all…and with words we serfs can understand.

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