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Keeping Up with the Kardashians

On Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris Jenner is desperate to get back in to the club scene, Khloe Kardashian has some serious hostility towards Mama Kris and Scott Disick tries to trick us in to believing he actually has a job.

Last night’s episode starts with Kris stepping in dog sh*t, and with that intro I knew tonight’s episode would be a good one. Apparently Kendall has left her dog at home with Kris while her modeling career has taken off. Unfortunately for Kris, Blue is not house trained just yet and she has left her a special present. Kris screams bloody murder and Kim runs to her aid. Kim chastises her mother for being so loud when baby North is asleep and the two proceed to bicker about who should be cleaning the mess up. I’m sorry but as if these two princesses don’t have a team of cleaners at their beck and call. #NiceTryLadies

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Catfish Season 3, Episode 7 “Solana & Elijah” Recap

Hello everyone! I am so excited to be joining the Reality Tea team as a contributor for Catfish: The TV Show!  I thought I would begin with a small introduction to the show, for those of you that haven’t watched it before.  It airs on MTV on Wednesday nights at 10PM, and it stars Nev Schulman and his partner in crime Max Joseph.  The two traverse around the country, assisting people who email them asking for help with online experiences.  Some of the people who write in are people who believe that they have found love, while others believe that they are assisting a person who promises careers and other glamorous opportunities in exchange for money or goods.  Most, if not all of the time, the people who write in have never even seen the person that they are communicating with, and the people who are “catfishing” them refuse to video chat or speak on the phone.  Usually, they use the excuse that they have a terrible internet connection, or that they don’t have access to a webcam (does any laptop come without a webcam anymore?).  This show has increased in popularity so much over the past few seasons that it has inspired Webster’s Dictionary to officially add the word “Catfish” to its ever expanding repertoire (I’m not lying! Here’s the link, look for yourselves! It is the second definition at http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/catfish?show=0&t=1403128382).

And so, without further ado, let’s get into tonight’s episode!

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Little Women - Lifetime

Briana Mason, Christy McGinty, Elena Gant, Terra Jole, Tonya Banks, and Traci Harrison are here to show the world that they can do anything an average size person can do, sometimes even better!  This includes, bringing the drama on Little Women: LA!

Episode 4 begins with the newly engaged couple, Christy and Todd painting some rooms of their home.  Painting isn’t an easy task for anyone and I would imagine it’s slightly more difficult for a little person, but this isn’t what is distracting Christy from her task.  What is distracting her is the fact that she is 3 days “late” and Todd doesn’t know.  To test the waters, Christy asks Todd if he would prefer to have an average or little baby.  He quickly answers that he would just like to have a healthy baby, as he lost his last baby with his first wife.  Christy  points out that there is a rhythm to painting, you know, kind of like the rhythm method she uses as a form of birth control. After all, there’s an app for that!

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After the second episode back on Keeping up with the Kardashians, I believe that it has become clear this show should be retitled Keeping up With Kris Jenner – with cameo appearances made by relatives and ex-husbands. The episode kicks off with the ever adorable Penelope and Mason Disick. Oh Ryan Seacrest you know how to lure us in!

Khloe Kardashian is on a mission to get Miss Penelope to say her name. Naturally she decides to use food as a bargaining chip. Not just any food; she’s using ice-cream and sprinkles! Unfortunately for Aunt Khloe, Penelope suffers from selective mutism and shows no interest in Ko-Ko’s tactics. Miss Penelope has better will power than I do, that’s for sure!

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Sunday night we saw the premiere of Keeping up with the Kardashians. We learned that Kourtney lacks emotions, Khloe likes talking about Vajay-jay’s, Kim loves Kanye mirrors and Kris is still dying to be the fourth Kardashian sister.

The episode starts with Khloe talking about her divorce and how she is handling it. Her description of how she is dealing with it sounds a lot like denial. Khloe decides jumping on her trampoline and hanging out at Casa de Kris is the best way to combat an ugly divorce, that and constantly referencing how her va jay-jay is trying to swallow her itty bitty daisy dukes. Yes Khloe, we’ve all seen your camel toe. Side note: did Khloe just say Kim looks like Paula Abdul? Poor Paula, she doesn’t deserve that.

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On tonight’s finale episode of The Rachel Zoe Project, Rodger Berman has babies on the brain while Rachel Zoe is swept up in photo shoots, look books and gold lamé dresses.

Things begin with Rachel and Rodger in bed with bed hair. Rodger thinks he rocks the bed head look. Rachel thinks that between the two of them their hair is a disaster. I concur. Rodger disagrees and thinks his wife’s bed hair is sexy and basically launches himself on her like a catapult in the hopes of sexytimes. However Rachel summons extreme strength from the fashion Gods and basically uses a force field to fend off her desperate for baby #2 husband. Rodger says he wants a baby, however, Rachel doesn’t. For the first time all season, I am siding with Rodger.  Considering what cutie patootey kids these two make, I’m all for it. New Campaign starts today: #SiblingForSky!

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This week on The Rachel Zoe Project, Rachel traveled to New York for the opening of DreamDry, William popped over from England like a fashion fairy godmother delivering couture that rendered Rachel temporarily speechless, she gave husband, Rodger Berman, a makeover (but not his hair) and Skyler attempted to hit his mother with a shovel for trying to catch a bit of sleep.

Things begin with Rachel and makeup master Joey bickering about when Rachel will pop out a sibling for Skyler. Rachel trolls off a bunch of excuses and Joey chalks her many excuses up to bullshit. Rachel whines that even showering has taken a back seat in her life since becoming a mom. Sounds like someone’s traded boho chic for hobo chic..  Showering Shmowering, Joey is sick of Rachel’s never ending excuses. Rachel says that she arrived a little late to the party with the whole having accessories kids thing which has kind of gotten in the way. Joey makes the biggest mistake and says forty is the new twenty anyway, and with that Mommy Hobo becomes Valley girl in 2.8 seconds demanding to know who the heck in the room is 40?!? Cos she certainly isn’t the ‘f’ word yet.. ‘like Duh!’… and of course it wouldn’t be a proper Valley girl rant without Rachel sounding off by calling Joey a bitch for speaking such utter nonsense. Poor Joey, at least he now knows the word forty is like Harry Potter’s ‘Voldermort’ in the Kingdom of Zoe.. #Hewhoshouldnotbenamed

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Ready for Love

We will be bringing you weekly fancaps from the new reality dating show, Ready For Love.  There have been two episodes so far and the recap below is the premiere episode that aired on the 9th.  We'll be posting this week's episode shortly and then will be on track starting next week!  Without further ado, here is Ready For Love, fancapped by Anne R.B. 

I may be the only person watching Ready for Love. I read that ratings were very low for the premiere, and even worse in week 2. People: this show is GOOD. It's not actual good like Downton Abbey, it's stupid/adorable good – like Most Eligible Dallas. The show begins with Executive Producer Eva Longoria giving us an infomercial speech about why she invented this show: she loves dating shows but hates how the couples never last! What's a girl to do? Scientifically reinvent reality dating shows, of course. Her plan is 3-fold:

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