Sometimes a Housewife has a really bad day. This week’s episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac was Robyn Dixon’s turn. Robyn is like a boxer who comes out swinging and yelling at the opponent “Hit me!” with her chin sticking out. And when they do it, she’s shocked and can’t understand why they came at her.
We start back at last week’s press conference where Karen Huger is deflecting questions and declaring that she is shutting it down. Robyn is still yelling at Karen to tell the truth. Gizelle Bryant takes one last swing at Karen on the way out by showing the back of her t-shirt that says, “#freeuncleben” and “#taxreform”. Karen yells that Gizelle is tacky as hell, and I have to say it wasn’t Gizelle’s finest moment. Monique Samuels decides that Gizelle came to clown around and looked like a clown in her 99 cent shirt…and Robyn follows. Karen and her assistant get in the car to leave, but Robyn has to take one last dig at her. She taps on the window of Karen’s car and asks, “Why are you so mad?” Come on Robyn. We all know you aren’t that dense.
The Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion was going so well until Kim Zolciak showed up. I mean, people with feuds as old as their suddenly rejuvenated (and impregnated) ovaries were having civil discussions about those times they accused each other of being prostitutes to one-eyed Africans (do neither Porsha Williams nor Kenya Moore STILL not understand that ‘one-eyed’ referred to the African’s “D” – not that he’s an actual cyclops. Now you know KandiBurruss secretly wrote a “For The D” rap about that…). Then of course with all that peace, love, and Leave Will Alone, Kim Showed up.
Now that girl… Kim looked like she was wearing a Jessica Rabbit Halloween costume. And what on earth is Kroy Biermann doing with his life? He needs a Tabatha take over, because he’s apparently so depressed about being released from the NFL that he’s lost all purpose in life. It’s like the dude followed-up on a Craigslist post seeking personal assistant and wound up working for this crazy person who expects him to just follow around carrying her Solo cups and making sure all her outfits match said Solo cups – outfits he also has to pry her into using tweezers.
Well guys, Bravo is trying once again to franchise one of its fan favorites with Southern Charm New Orleans. Did Andy Cohen learn nothing from that Savannah debacle? Whatever. One of the gentlemen from the latest endeavor describes his town as “boobs, beads, and booze,” so there’s that. To say my hopes aren’t high is a bit of an understatement, but I’m willing to give it a go!
Tamica Lee heads to work as morning show anchor. She’s quick to remind us that her father played for the Saints and she’s quite the benefactress. Tamica is married to Barry Smith, who she asserts isn’t nearly as fun as she is. Barry claims to be Mr. Mom. He’s all about driving his kids around town to school and activities. JeffandReagan Charleston are married and are the parents to several dogs. Jeff is a former NFL player and Reagan takes a lot of pride of being New Orleans born and raised, with her ancestors basically founding the city (according to her). They are hosting Tamica and Barry at their home. It’s huge. There is a giant foyer that boasts three stories of stairwells. Reagan and Tamica are like sisters, which just means they fight all the time and are extremely competitive. Tamica and Barry are moving into a new house, but Tamica doesn’t want to talk about it with her pal…basically because of that whole competitive piece. Clearly these people already know the golden rule in reality television…keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Last night’s Southern Charm invited us to sit down with our favorite man children and the girls who love to hate them…and sometimes hate to love them. All poor Shep Rose wants is to celebrate his thirty-eighth birthday, but Naomie Olindo and Danni Baird have other plans. Kathryn Dennis manages to keep her cool despite Thomas Ravenel flaunting new arm candy in her heavily made up face. It’s the south’s version of the dinner party from hell, minus the e-cigarette and psychic.
At Shep’s house, Craig Conover is lording over raw meat as T-Rav and his new lady bitch about Kathryn and joke about Ashley becoming T-Rav’s new bride and his children’s new mom. Classy. The charmers arrive at the party with Cameran Eubanks waddling up with in her finest maternity wear that showcases her adorable bump. Ashley tries to butter up the mini-matriarch by asking if she’s only five months along in her pregnancy…as if she doesn’t stalk her on social media. Cameran questions Craig about how he feels seeing Naomie, and he’s nervous. In the Uber with the girls, Naomie admits she feels the same way. Likewise, Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner are awaiting their own uneasy encounters. T-Rav jokes that J.D. calls this gal crew the “break-up bunch.” The ladies are all about supporting each other while tearing down their narcissistic Peter Pan counterparts.
The Real Housewives of New York is back, and all is right in my reality TV world again. Ahh, the sweet sounds of Dorinda Medley speaking in tongues after tossing back one too many. Ramona Singer using plastic microphones to emphasize her incomprehensible points. Luann de Lesseps pounding her chest and proclaiming, “I have suffered!” in her most insufferable delusion. And Carole Radziwill learning to exercise. Well, okay – it’s not all riveting. But after a few franchise duds this year, I’ll take it! Although I wasn’t here for the premiere, I’m back in now with two feet firmly planted in the delicious mess of this particular group of women.
This week, we find out who’s working on running (Carole) and who’s just running her mouth (Sonja Morgan). After opening credits, we see Tinsley Mortimer, Ramona, and Carole meeting for lunch. Why? So Carole can tell them that Luann is culturally insensitive and that she’s nervous she is to run the NY marathon. Ramona says she’s planned a super-secret party for Carole to celebrate her accomplishments. Except maybe she hasn’t planned it until this very moment? Clearly, Ramona has had a bright idea, and she is fully committed to seeing it through. She can only manage one thought in her head at a time, after all.
Curses! No, for real. Yes curses and the ongoing attempts to reverse them has been the dominating theme this season on Survivor, but sometimes its not an item or a relic that will bring you bad luck…it’s the choices that you make. If good luck – as the saying goes – is when opportunity meets preparation, then it could be said that the person eliminated tonight was neither prepared, nor did they seize their opportunity to avoid getting voted out.
Tonight was the famed “merge episode” and it gave us everything we could have hoped for: Scrambling, strategy, drama and more than a few laughs. And speaking of laughs, there is a video that came out of the result of tonight’s episode that you simply HAVE to see to believe.
But before we dive in, as I do at the beginning of every Recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 8 of Survivor: Ghost Island, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
Reporting from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills there’s really nothing to report here people! The women survived Berlin, no pandas were injured as a result of this filming, they returned to LA: gyrated, cried over houses and bikinis and puppies, then left us to go hide until the finale. You know – it was that calm before the storm finale episode and it made my heart sad because that means the end is near for this season of RHOBH. Also this trip to Berlin was brought to us by Aperol Spritz, which I am now going to be drinking liberally because it apparently erases cellulite, droopy brows, bad manners, and the need to cause drama over nothing!
Kyle Richards and Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave are sitting in a the lobby of Berlin’s finest luxury hotel just waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the appearance of their idol, pop star Erika Jayne. Teddi jitters her knee and double-checks that her autograph book is by her side; Kyle, anxious she’s not cool enough, hikes up her over-the-knee boots a little higher and decides she better paint her nails. I’m impressed with her on-the-fly mani skills though!