Recaps

Real Housewives Of New York Recap: It Girl, Interrupted

On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, we were introduced to the newest addition, Tinsley Mortimer, by way of Sonja Morgan and her Home For Scorned Socialites. Bethenny Frankel and Carole Radziwill continue to hover in the background of the drama, while Luann de Lesseps and Dorinda Medley take center stage as they rail against Sonja’s accusations about Luann’s fiance, Tom D’Agostino. Oh, and Ramona Singer gets straight-up read by a butler, which is essentially far and away the episode highlight.

We open at Sonja’s house, where she’s dyeing her eyebrows and ordering interns to ferry her chocolate. Tinsley pops by to move the hell on in – complete with pillows! Once the “It Girl” girl of NYC, Tinsley fell hard when she splashed across the tabloids in stories revealing ongoing domestic disputes with her boyfriend, one of which resulted in her arrest. Tinsley, now less of an It Girl than a Who? Girl, is trying to rebuild her life. Mission one: find a different sort of guy to date. You know, one who you don’t need to call the police on weekly. Sonja is down for the cause.

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What Happened on Exile, Stays on Exile

Survivor began over 17 years ago as a social experiment of sorts: What would happen if different people, from various walks of life, of different religious beliefs, ages, and ethnicities, creeds, classes, and color, were put together on an island and forced to vote each other out?

In the Summer of 2000, with Survivor’s very first season, this question was put to the ultimate test, and television’s best Reality TV show was born. The reason it has endured for 34 seasons is not just because of the concept, or the entertainment value…surely there are other shows that haven’t lasted half as long as Survivor, that included elements of strategy, competition, or battling the elements. One of the main reasons that Survivor has lasted for so long was on display during the latest episode of Survivor: Game Changers. There wasn’t a massive blindside (well, not in the normal sense of the word anyways). There wasn’t an amazing come-from-behind challenge victory. No idols were played. No, on occasion, Survivor crosses the line and enters into social relevancy, tackling topics that are far more complex in the real world but dealing with them in a real, human way, within the microcosm of the game.

Please be warned that there are spoilers to follow, as we will be discussing in detail the events that took place during Episode 6 of Survivor: Game Changers.

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion was wash, rinse, and repeat pantygate. And even though the stains have come out, Erika Girardi and Dorit Kemsley still can’t toss them in the drawer and move on. Can’t one of Dorit’s three full-time housekeepers clean up this mess? What about “Soapy and Sudsy“?

Andy Cohen wastes no time defrosting the world of Erika Jayne, wondering why she has to be so cold? But Andy and I are on different time frames, so my first order of business is discussing wardrobe. Which means Kyle Richards.

UGH. How does Kyle By KantDressTooThousand expect us to take her boutique seriously when she is wearing a cold-shoulder leotard that she put a strapless bra over. With a skirt that looks like shape wear. SERIOUSLY!? I just cannot. even. fathom. why?! Kyle is aware that when organizing a ‘sitting down for TV outfit’ one should, you know, TEST how it looks while seated? Apparently, these are things only non-showbiz people know – the former F-list child stars did not get such stellar education.

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Elena.Gant.Purpleshirt.Crying.Little.Women.LA

Sadly, last night’s Little Women: LA showcased a raw, painful time for Elena Gant, who flew to Russia after hearing the heartbreaking news that her father had unexpectedly passed away. In positive news, Terra Jole set aside the aftermath of their mini-feud to be there for her friend, hoping that Elena didn’t blame herself for not being able to be by her father’s side at the end. Back in LA, Terra tries to rally the troops to head to a women’s march, but Briana Renee decides not to go because she is a terrible example of female empowerment thinks Terra has ulterior motives. Meanwhile, Christy McGinity Gibel lone-wolfs it yet again as she looks into medical options for Todd’s weight loss.

Terra and Briana meet for tea, and to discuss manager-stealing. Briana denies shady doings, but Terra isn’t buying it. She would have given her manager’s number to Briana if she really wanted it, but going behind her back to hit him up was wrong. Briana wants to rebuild trust…but it’s Briana we’re talking about here. She and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] sit on a throne of lies. Briana does agree to attend a women’s march with Terra though. (Which she’ll back out of later.)

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Lala

On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)

One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!

So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!

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southern-charm

Are y’all clutching your pearls yet? We’re the second week into this season of Southern Charm, and it doesn’t seem like much has changed. Cameran Eubanks is still playing the role of narrator and wrangling man children in the form of Craig Conover, Shepard “Shep” Rose, and Shep’s latest protege Austen Kroll. Landon Clements continues to undercut Kathryn Dennis through her giggles while her “is-he-or-isn’t he” Thomas Ravenel surrounds himself with young twenty-something arm candy. Speaking of Kathryn, she’s back with a vengeance and ready to provide hair strands and blood samples and whatever else she needs in order to see her children. Forget the hot mess express, these folks are a convoy of crazy! Let’s dive on in, shall we?

As always, the episode starts with the group in various stages of morning mayhem, whether it’s working or snoozing. Whitney Sudler-Smith visits the Hugh Hefner of Charleston T-Rav, who has been recovering from the big pool party. He’s not ready to get back into the dating scene for fear a fiery siren will come in to rip off the head of some poor college junior. Whitney is enjoying this mellower version of his friend, and he’s ready to rejoin him on the Upper King singles’ scene after breaking off his long term, long distance relationship with that young blonde girl. Thomas is thrilled to have a wing man, and he makes Whitney promise to prowl the bars each night with one goal: close on site. Wait what? Oh, do it in the bathroom! Makes sense. I’ll be re-upping on the hand sanitizer before I head out again on a Friday night.

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Sheree debuts Chateau Sheree

Last night was the season finale of a very, well, bizarre season of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Thankfully we didn’t relive Lesbian-Gate – we’re saving that for the reunion – but we did witness the official end of Phaedra Parks and Kandi Burruss‘ friendship. Something else happened… Something big, I think… Oh what was it? Hmmmm… OH! Chateau Sheree. Yep, it’s up and running. Almost.

We barely saw Cynthia Bailey and Porsha Williams – they were mere extras to the drama. That’s the way the cookie crumbles, I guess! Speaking of cookies – you cannot bake them in Sheree Whitfield‘s kitchen.

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monique-talking-head

If there is one thing you can count on when it comes to Real Housewives, it’s one of the ladies planning a lunch, dinner, drinks, brunch, spin class, pool party, or waxing session (to name a few) to resolve friendship problems amongst feuding cast mates. The Real Housewives of Potomac are no different and Grande Dame, Karen Huger is at the helm of a high tea to try and squash the growing beef between HBIC, Gizelle Bryant and the HMPDIC (Head Multiple Personality Disorder in Charge), Charrisse Jackson-Jordan.

Karen has good reason to start focusing her time elsewhere: now that all her little birds have flown the nest, she just wanders the halls of her Rent-a-Mansion in bright orange athleisure wear, calling her daughter, who is just trying to live her life away at college. The “tomb” of a home Karen is living in (she got that right) isn’t fit for a Grande Dame and so it must go. The search for a new home, maybe one that isn’t rented and full of cheap, staged furniture is already in full swing. As long as it has a circular driveway, mind you.