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lhh atl zino and stevie

Admittedly, I can’t keep up with all the story lines on Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta. Some are definitely more juicy than others, so sometimes we’re left with a show that mixes in all the second and third tier drama…and that’s what we got last night! Mimi Faust’s father passed away, and she’s upset that she can’t grieve properly because she is too busy defending her actions to everyone. She reveals that Stevie J. sent her a text message saying “Karma is a bitch” which she received the day her father died. He is certainly a classy character. 

Yung Joc and Karlie Redd are back in the studio, and back in the studio now that Karlie has gotten over Joc’s recent cheating. I’m not sure if she’s actually over it though since she continues to grill him about his actions. Whatever happened to having nothing to do with a serial cheater? Karlie feels supported by Joc since he’s pushing her career forward, and she can’t be bothered worrying about his Teletubby fling. 

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game of crowns2

In this week’s Game of Crowns, we revisit the fallout of Nick’s rampage at the Mrs. America pageant. Susanna Paliotta’s daughter shows us how to “LOL.” And there’s a lot of tea and bagels showing up. It’s sort of a snooze-fest, but it’s all in preparation for the upcoming Mrs. New England States pageant, which is right around the corner.  

We begin at Shelley Carbone’s CT home where she is in the kitchen talking to her 3 kids and setting a good example for her children by…feeding them. And the dog. She reminds the kids that they need to finish up their homework so they can all head to Lynne Diamante’s tea party later.

dont-be-tardy1

Don’t Be Tardy opens with Kroy Biermann giving precious Kaia a bath in the kitchen yet again this week.  Can I just say that these scenes bathing the two cutie pies are just the best?! I can’t handle the cuteness.  He’s teaming up with Kim Zolciak and doing the old fashion way of being parents – by just being parents.  She’s making bottles and he’s bathing babies.  Teamwork at its finest and I love it (And Kroy baby-talking to Kai??? Adorable!).  Ok, enough with the collective “Ohhhhs” in the back round….moving on!

Sweetie is talking to Kim about how she would love to have 6 babies but her “hooha” hasn’t been with as many dudes and she wants to make sure her “hooha” can handle that. Kim then reassures Sweetie that she can just get her vag rejuvenated (through what else – surgery!) you know, in case your p***y hangs like sliced prosciutto.  Stop.  I have to stop. I can handle lots of language and Kim can drop the f-bombs all night long – but for some reason I squirm in my seat whenever I hear p***y from anyone’s mouth.  And it’s said a few more times in this episode.  Just please keep it to “hooha” or ZIP IT. 

teresa hosts fabulicious desserts party

Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey newbie Amber Marchese got a baptism by garbage fire. And her husband Jim Marchese tried to act all big, important, and like principled and ish – not on my Jersey! 

Melissa Gorga, behind-the-scenes s#*!-stirrer and perpetual wannabe victim, tackled the double-trouble twins with some gossip and found that Teresa Giudice isn’t the only person who flips-the-f-out! 

Before all that, Joe and Melissa embark upon a new career – one they’re suited for! Joe bought a big ol’ garbage truck and announced they’re in the garbage business. At first I thought he meant they ARE the garbage business, which of course, but they are for real compacting garbage. This type of garbage is a truck specifically designed to incinerate important papers. And if Juicy or Chris Laurita‘s “paperwork” are any indication – I say that truck is going to be doing a lot of business! Also now they can finally “smoosh” all evidence of Melissa’s past – like the Lookers! paychecks!

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kim-kardashian

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest

Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
 

sister wives tamron and kids

How are we already at the end of the Sister Wives’ season? It’s reunion time, and Tamron Hall is hosting Kody Brown, his hair, and his four wives, and she is such a class act. Right off the bat, she revisits Meri’s decision to get a wet bar go back to college and Kody’s stick straight locks in the scene. Geez, it’s horrible. Kody is supportive of his first wife’s plan, but Robyn is just a ball of fun when she learns the news. The sighing and the jaw clenching is intense. Meri is tearing up just watching the playback of the situation. Robyn tries to clarify that she didn’t feel betrayed, but she did feel ditched. She doesn’t want Meri to find better friends outside of the family…um, these women aren’t friends. Christine thinks that Meri heading back to school is the best thing for Meri. Since Mariah left, Christine feels that Meri has disengaged, and fulfilling herself through college will be just what she needs to find happiness.

Next we go back to the time that Kody pounded on his chest and talked about hormone swapping through make-out sessions with Mykelti and her now former boyfriend. Kody is so proud of his little speech, and Robyn once again reminds us that pre-marital sex is bad, bad, bad. Christine loves that Kody makes kissing sound gross to potential suitors. Tamron looks perplexed by the entire conversation, and I can’t say I blame her. The topic segues to the importance of My Sister Wives’ Closet. Finally, Janelle speaks, and she looks amazing. Tamron chides Kody about his temper tantrum in the counseling appointment where he said he never got to be the leader of the family. He is constantly asking for permission from his wives and seeking a consensus. Robyn praises Kody for being a great leader. I wonder if she ever gets tired of constantly stroking his ego…

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 kimz2

On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, it’s a sunny day in HOTlanta while Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann are enjoying an afternoon playing with the kids in their driveway.  This could be my favorite scene of the episode as I adore seeing the family having a leisurely time WITHOUT technology. Brielle begs Kim to take the Range Rover out for a spin and she is brutally denied and downgraded to the gold Honda because she’s already banged up the expensive cars.  I take that back, I actually love and appreciate this segment the most.  Good for Kroy and Kim not catering to Brielle’s whining. 

Later that day we see Kim and Sweetie chatting about dieting or rather, not dieting as Sweetie enjoys her miniature salad (yeah, where was the dressing? Dry salad is my idea of what meals would be like in Hell.) and she imparts a few words of nutritional wisdom onto Kim.  Kim is having none of it – unless the advice is topped with Reese’s Pieces and Skittles.  Kim’s idea of lunch consists of cookies and cakes and what the?? Are we 10 years old? I love me a good Sprinkles cupcake once in a while, but not seven of them for dinner. 

jenelle evans confronts nathan about drinking

On last night’s Teen Mom 2, Jenelle and Nathan continued to be a study in dysfunction. Chelsea Houska may have broken the law, and Leah Calvert battled Corey Simms and his insurance company over Ali’s much-needed wheelchair. 

Jenelle Evans is still pregnant. But lucky girl was blessed by the court gods who don’t want to deal with her because her latest charges have been dropped. Barb brings Jace over, where he knocks over a plastic slide and nearly maims his cousin while Babs freaks out. Jenelle sits there and stares at the ground. Barbara worries about Nathan Griffith leaving Jenelle alone for 30 days – what if she gets on some ‘pregnant and single’ app! – while he goes to jail for his DUI. Barb is anxious that without Nathan, Jenelle will have to get herself to school alone. Jenelle is how old? Oh right – mentally she’s 12. And that’s generous.

However, Barbara is also worried because Nathan is violent. To be accurate, Nathan is Dr. Fakeyl and My. Lyes and he could snap at any moment – especially when his friend Mr. Alcohol joins the party! Jenelle claims they’re getting along better because they talk now. Oh that’s nice – I’m sure they have plenty of insightful things to say. Either that or the Dr. Phil Home Therapy app they downloaded and bought cliff notes for told them to just talk til they’ve got laryngitis. Hooked on Phonics Psychology, y’all! 

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