Recaps

below deck mediterranean recap

On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean, a smitten Danny Zureikat tries his hand at writing poetry for the woman of his dreams – Tilted Kilt waitress and charter guest, Morgan. But Captain Mark Howard sees to it that his love drunk deck hand remembers he’s on this boat to play Gilligan, not Shakespeare. After making out in plain sight with Morgan at the beach, Danny is on even thinner ice with his crew, not to mention with First Mate Bryan Kattenburg. And Danny’s already got one strike against him from Captain Mark for bringing random girls aboard with co-conspirator (and slightly more mature) Bobby Giancola last week. 

So, now what’s a horny deckhand to do? Well, for now, he’s got to steer clear of Jen Riservato, who’s stank attitude has put her at the top of Bryan’s sh*t list. But since Danny’s decided to break all rules of charter boundaries, Jen sees an opportunity to shine. She is the MVP in her own mind, lest we forget!

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Teen Mom 2 recap

It seems like every time things start to improve for the Teen Mom 2 moms and dads, they take a big step back – except for Jenelle Evans, who never seems to be improving.

On last night’s episode, Jenelle’s health is rapidly deteriorating, with a list of symptoms ranging from hot flashes to an inability to spell. Kailyn Lowry works on improving her relationship with Vee Torres, but things are looking rockier between her and Javi Marroquin. Any good feelings Leah Messer had left about her relationship with Corey Simms are gone after hearing what Ali’s going through at his house. Things are still blissful in Chelsea Houska Land, especially when Adam Lind proves he hasn’t changed, even though for a split second, it seemed like he was really trying to be a better father.

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Real Housewives of Dallas recap

Who is Heidi F–king Dillon and why am I supposed to be excited to see her? Because, so far, the only thing exciting about her is how absolutely ridiculously seriously she takes herself by dressing like T. Payne one minute and a Stevie Nicks impersonator the next. I was excited about Fritos though. Because as the ladies of Real Housewives Of Dallas reminded us, who doesn’t love Fritos?!

The episode was not all Heidi F–king Dillon and LeeAnne Locken looking incredibly pleased as punch that Heidi decided to enact a raging vendetta against Cary Deuber for no apparent reason. (Is she jealous of Cary’s yogi-ness?!) Brandi Redmond is dealing with a family tragedy – her brother returned from active duty in Afghanistan and is battling with some serious PTSD. Despite his family’s best efforts to get him help, he ended up trying to take his own life by overdosing. Brandi confides in Stephanie Hollman, who is shocked, but obviously supportive. With Brandi and Bryan having major issues, Brandi values her friendship with Stephanie more than ever.  

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Southern-Charm-shep-1

Hashtag New Craig Conover unleashed the beast on last night’s Southern Charm. After he announces Whitney Sudler-Smith must hate Kathryn Dennis because she started hooking up with Thomas Ravenel just one week after her brief stay at Casa de Altschul, the group is in an uproar.

Cameran Eubanks hasn’t heard this theory before, and she warns Craig that he may want to retract his statement. Whitney is gobsmacked (who doesn’t love that word?), reminding Craig that he slept with Kathryn long before T-Rav. Shepard “Shep” Rose giggles “sloppy seconds” before Craig prattles off that Kathryn stayed with Whitney for five days, not to mention, Whitney escorted her to the party where she left with Thomas. Whitney can’t get his chin off the floor. “Are you kidding me? You’re believing Kathryn over me?” Cameran is mortified that her new bestie is being raked over the coals by a hapless Hashtag. Craig is so concerned with channeling his inner Harriet the Spy, he doesn’t notice how awkward things have become for the rest of the crew. Cameran recalls the time Craig called out Kathryn to her face about sleeping with three guys in their circle. Sure, Craig did that, but the past is the past…he is friends with Kathryn now.

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sister wives meri janelle

The network has finally heard my prayers. Thank you, TLC, for only subjecting us to an hour of Sister Wives last night. It’s much more fun to watch when I don’t have to see the same story dragging on for two hours on a Sunday. Plus, Kody Brown’s hair is so special and magical, it doesn’t need to risk overexposure to the fans. Same goes for Meri’s catfishing wet bar! 

The Browns are expecting seventy people for Thanksgiving–you know that means! It’s a reason for a party! Janelle and Meri will be decorating for the holiday after a successful first counseling session, and Christine and Robyn plan to sit back and stay out of the way. Christine is actually less annoying and completely reasonable this season. Who knew that would happen?

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Shahs of Sunset recap

The moment we have all been waiting for is finally here: on tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset, we finally get to see the nuptials of former runaway groom Reza Farahan and his long-time boyfriend, Adam Neely. It’s a moment that has been highly anticipated by both viewers and the Shahs since last season’s shocker of Reza calling off their wedding in Thailand. There is only one person who hasn’t been anxiously awaiting this wedding – the other groom, Adam. Because he has NO IDEA this is happening. That’s right folks, you’re invited to an ambush wedding!

To lovingly set the stage of “marriages that shouldn’t happen,” we open with the not-that-sad Shoe Sultan, Mike Shouhed. It’s not even six months into his marriage to Jessica Parido and she has hit the trails in search of greener, less cheating grass. Reza stops by with bags of groceries and wants to know why Jessica left. Mike explains that he has been rude and neglectful of her and she decided that’s not the type of life she wants. Mike says he doesn’t blame her for teaching him a lesson. Clearly, Mike is feeling sorry for himself, and while Mike’s busy talking about how wonderful Jessica is, doesn’t mind throwing her under the bus by acting like she walked out over some trivial matter.

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Little Women: NY recap

After fireworks during a night out of belly dancing, the Little Women: NY think it’s about time to get away and plan a camping trip to bond and maybe even try and have fun. Let’s see if a little fresh air can mend the rift between Jazmin Lang and sister-in-law/ultimate ball-buster, Dawn Lang.

Jazmin meets up with roomie Jason Perez to discuss her issues with Dawn. Jason believes in tough love but thinks Dawn expects Jazmin to be just like her and that’s not fair. He questions if maybe Dawn resents Jazmin for taking her only brother away and would like to give her the benefit of the doubt but thinks her judgmental nagging is becoming too much to bear. Jason thinks if he can invite Dawn and Jazmin over to his parent’s house to see a loving family dynamic, it might help.

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Real Housewives of New York recap

Is it me or are things on Real Housewives Of New York just straight up mean this season?! If it isn’t raining men in NYC, it’s raining bitches – and everyone is getting drenched! 

At least things start out positively. Moving into the fifth floor of Manor Morgan is Luann de Lesseps. The heater may not work but at least there’s a hot plate.

While Luann lounges on a bed still bearing the trappings of 1992 bourgeois stylings, she wonders if her hostess with the mostess loose ends, Sonja Morgan, has told Bethenny Frankel about the Tipsy Girl unveiling. Sonja shrugs off the potential snafu. She ain’t scairt of Bethenny. The well of booze has a deep trough, and Tipsy Girl is but a little drop, all of it likely going down Sonja’s gullet. After all, there was once a Skinny Bitch, then along came a Skinnygirl, and that little low-fat piggy went on reality TV and squealed all the way to the bank.

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