Recaps

Celebrity Big Brother recap

We start the Celebrity Big Brother recap with half the housemates in hell with Jedward and the other half in hell with Chloe Ferry and Kim Woodburn. Not entirely sure there’s that much difference to be fair. Apart from the real hell, ironically looks colder. Chloe is making herself known – not a good thing. She gets a bit possessive over Calum Best and then asks to see Jamie O’Hara’s winkie. Classy.

Jasmine Waltz is in hell and struggling, mainly with Jedward, and hey, who wouldn’t? She is upset after going into the diary room. Stacy Francis goes to comfort her, but Jasmine really doesn’t want Stacy to see her upset and pushes her away. Stacy tries to break through but Jasmine gets even more upset that she has shown weakness. I think it’s one of the most honest moments we have seen of Jasmine, and a definite chink in her armour. I think she also feels a little guilty about things she said to Stacy, but feels she has a character to live up to. I’ve actually quite liked Jasmine this time round for the most part, so I think her objective of re-hashing her image has worked. To me, she actually seems quite vulnerable at that moment in time.

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Teen Mom 2 recap

Despite the summer weather, an icy chill has fallen on this episode of Teen Mom 2. Well, for everyone but Chelsea Houska, who is excitedly expecting a baby with fiancé Cole DeBoer. All she needs is her social media announcement because as we all know, it’s not real until it’s Facebook official.

Chelsea is feeling all the first trimester fun: nausea and tired, which is preventing her from taking a shower today. She’s also feeling anxious because it’s so early in her pregnancy and she can’t feel kicks yet. Luckily, she finds a heartbeat while using her home Doppler, so that helps ease some of her fears. A few days later, everything is confirmed by the doctor as a healthy pregnancy after Chelsea gets her first ultrasound.

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Ariana at Katie's Bridal shower

So, do we think Brittany Cartwright‘s mama is going to be successful in her quest to get Jax Taylor into a church?! If so, will the holy water turn him into liquefied jelly – or will he start speaking in tongues?! Oh wait, he already does… Yes, an exorcism must be done on Vanderpump Rules, but shockingly, Jax isn’t the one who needs it. OK, maybe he does, but not as bad as some people…

So let me tell you a little story about a Three-Headed SheBeast named KriStasstie – if that sounds like a very weird food served in an eastern European prison, or a disease you probably do not want to contract from a monkey, well, it’s not far off.

This is the story about three women who have absolutely NO IDEA how unimportant their opinions are, and their self-aggrandized delusions about their amazing friendships are, well, sad. Really sad. Thank goodness we have the ‘boyfriend stealing’ Ariana Madix, of the dewy mermaid skin and evil eye to put them in their place. And their place is out by the dumpsters at SUR. Who knows…they may even be puking in them.

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Phaedra raises money for Flint

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, unexpected things popped up and rendered two girls homeless – which is perfect timing because Phaedra Parks is raising money for charity.

Kenya Moore returns home from Charlotte, to find her house vandalized. It seems Matt Jordan is made of magic carpets, because after driving ALL night to Charlotte where he harassed Kenya at Club One, he turned right around and drove all night back to ATL to smash in Kenya’s garage windows, sprinkle (was that juice? blood? droplets of rage?), break her car window and her back door, and spray paint over her security cameras. Dang – hell hath no fury like a man scorned.

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jedward

I’ve come out of sulking long enough to do this Celebrity Big Brother recap then I shall go back to drowning myself in a jar of Nutella.  And I mean Straight Nutella.  No bread, or toast or any of that soft stuff.  A hit, straight up from the jar.  I only use a spoon so I don’t look animal.  Anyways, I digress…

We first recap on the day of the eviction.  Jasmine Waltz starts the day apologizing to Big Brother for being a brat.  She actually does it in quite an amusing way and recognizes that she was being petulant.  Fair Play.

calum

We start this recap with an apology.  I have soooooo fallen out with Celebrity Big Brother.  I’m not saying its ruined my life, or even my week, but my night took a definite turn for the worst.  But I have a job to do, and will try to do it.  #takingonefortheteam

We open the show with the promise of an eviction, then 3 brand new housemates, and then another eviction.  If that wasn’t enough, we then have a vote to put a selection of housemates in the house from hell.  Busy night then….

Celebrity Big Brother recap

It’s Day 9 in the Celebrity Big Brother house and the second day of the Land of Nod Task.  Celebs have pulled an all-nighter with the egg timers and dream cloud jumping.

Brandon Block is struggling in the house and James Jourdan is feeling guilty.  Neither of which I saw coming.  James feels that they should have been more sensitive to the fact that she is nominated for eviction and has been dealt a tough journey so far.  Angie takes the tough stance and says that they can’t have regrets and that she was up for eviction too, so by the same thinking, she should have been invited too.  However Nicola and James talk to Stacy.  Somehow it turns in to Nicola walking off in tears.  #itsallaboutme.

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ray-j

Day 8 in the Celebrity Big Brother house begins with a Ray J-less house. Media coverage says he left the house due to a dental problem, but other than a small announcement at the beginning of the episode, and a clip in the middle, there is no other detail.

It’s shopping task day and housemates are a-waking in the land of nod. Leaders of the task are the “Dream Team,” comprising of James Jordan and Nicola McLean, whose job it is to ensure the housemates follow the rules. James reluctantly takes up the role – I lie – he’s loving it. The rules: no make up or appliances, no lying down during the day, no sleeping during the day, and no yawning. No wonder Ray J left – that was 80% of his daily activity. James J and Nicola get a free pass and are allowed to do what they like.

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