On last night’s Below Deck, we lost one crew member and gained another. Well, I use the word “gain” loosely, Jen Howell and Kate Chastain needed an HR rep to review sexual harassment policies. Support each other, ladies – no slutshaming aboard the 5-star Valor! And Nico Scholly made a miraculous recovery.
Poor Nico is in his bunk, all by himself, flexing his hand while tapping on his iPhone just waiting for Brianna Adekeye to check his temperature. Instead Jen and Bri are in hula gear at 1am, faced with a mountain of dishes that gives Jen delirium and psychosis. She’s talking more gibberish than usual, and she’s pretty sure that butter knife turned into a talking seahorse. What was IN that dinner Matt Burns made? It sure wasn’t happy juice!
It’s reunion time for the cast of Teen Mom 2 and part one is going to ease us into everything without too much craziness. Well, unless you count Jenelle Evans and new husband, David Eason, who just can’t help themselves. But before we go there, the whole cast is on the couch, with a giant macramé pacifier sitting behind them, just in case you didn’t catch that the show has “mom” in the title. All the ladies look fresh and lovely, but Jenelle already has a sourpuss face, magnified by her hair darkened and pulled back in a severe ponytail. I guess I can’t blame Jenelle; it’s going to be a long day for her. Dr. Drew plugs the finale of Teen Mum, which is the UK version of Teen Mom and if you’re not watching, you definitely should. Those Brits have nonstop baby daddy drama and I couldn’t help but get sucked into the whole season. But I digress….
Meanwhile, Cynthia Bailey is stranded at the lake all by herself with no one but the leaves to talk to. If it sounds like the start of a bad – very bad – horror movie where a desperate, lonely woman turns to the wrong kind of guy, you’re right! After a relaxing bath, Cynthia finds herself on a date where she is blindfolded and wandering the dark and creepy hallways of a chicken farm while getting her photo taken by Malcolm X’s long-lost twin, Evan.
O’ Delusion, thy name is 90 Day Fiance! This week, we travel deeper into the rabbit hole of each couples’ fantasy that their Happily Ever After awaits. Except for the fact that Thailand-David is too drunk and broke to keep his bride, Annie, interested long enough to force her on a U.S.-bound plane. Luis is sick of being Molly’s houseboy, and he’s apparently sick of pretending that he is normal. Because he could potentially be the most inappropriate cast member to EVER grace this show (and that’s saying a lot, considering who’s been foisted on us over the years).
Andrei’s visa interview gives Elizabeth the smeary-red-lipstick-sweats. Josh thinks his mail order brideAika can actually be a model (please refer to alums Paola and Russ for actual video evidence of where this dark journey leads). Nicole and Azan fight over the $3 and half box of doughnuts they have to their names, as well as why veggies are good for you. And Evelyn and David – well, they just continue to suck on every conceivable level, don’t they? We were blessed with another two-hour episode, so my apologies ahead of time for these freaking War And Peace length recaps! (Though they probably have just as much dramatic content. Because, as we all know, this show is pure 14-karat GOLD – and not the Thai-David-layaway kind.)
As Teresa packs for Puerto Rico, she tells Milania that they’ll email Joe Giudice in prison while they’re gone. Without Joe, Tre is glad she has her father to lean on. “He is my rock right now,” she admits. Meanwhile, Dolores is joining Siggy at the doctor’s office to discuss hormone treatments. In her butt. Siggy doesn’t want to be known as “Soggy” anymore, and is hoping getting her hormones balanced out will help shed her new, obnoxious image. Well, that and not sticking your tongue out at other middle-aged women, maybe? But hey – it’s a start.
The merge episode is always one of the most exciting, pivotal moments of each and every season of Survivor. Quite often, it sends the game down a path that can be traced right back to it. With just 12 players left heading into Wednesday night’s episode, we were down to five Healers, four Heroes and three Hustlers, all of whom were still alive and vying for that million dollar prize. But battle lines were definitely drawn during Episode 7, and it resulted in what was a pretty shocking and eventful Tribal Council.
Please remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 7 of Survivor: HHH, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE,AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
Last night on Below Deck, Nico Scholly was out for the count and no one even noticed his absence. Of course mostly everyone else continued to suck.
In St. Martin’s, the wind is rough, making massive waves. Captain Lee Rosbach is worried Valor won’t be leaving the dock for their upcoming charter. Of course, this guarantees that they’ll have super annoying, constantly-unhappy guests bringing a new meaning to expression “rough seas ahead.” Thankfully, after fighting with EJ Jansen over filthy feet, Nico’s brother is gone and taking 1/2 the Scholly a-component with him. Nico temporarily remains, dirty feet and jerky attitude, though! He blames EJ for trying to bait his brother into a fight.