Last night Real Housewives Of Dallas had their first (and I dunno – something in me is saying ‘only’ reunion) – and it was pretty bizarre.
The major story was Cary Deuber, who all season seemed rational, together, and way too smart for all the drama, but wound up having a straight nervous breakdown on stage over the rumors LeeAnne Locken spread about her marriage beginning with an affair. LeeAnne may not do “hurt,” but Cary does and she openly sobbed a ton.
Also randomly, throughout the entire reunion LeeAnne would morph into ‘My Carny Story’ mode and just start fake tearing up about her haunted past and all the other BS she routinely uses to try and get away with her crap. Andy was rolling his eyes and was visibly exhausted by her (as was everyone else – here, there, and everywhere!). I guess she needed Rich, The Carny Whisperer, to tone her down and stop her “story” about the hurt little girl who farts glitter from going into auto-repeat. The record is skipping, RICH!
Looks like we are about the meet the newest member of Little Women: NY with the arrival of Katie Snyder’s baby girl! On last week’s episode, Katie was being rushed to the hospital after a blow up at the laundromat with resident meddlers, Dawn Lang and Lila Call. Is it incredibly over the top to be accosting a pregnant woman when she is due any day? Sure! Do these gals seem to care? NOPE.
We join Katie at the hospital, where she is anxiously waiting to give birth with mom, Kathie, and waste of space boyfriend/baby daddy, PJ. She had another week to go but it looks like the baby is coming now.
Oh Real Housewives Of New York – you never cease to amaze me. Last night’s episode shone a rather frantic light on the very temporary nature of life as a Housewife.
First up Sonja Morgan has an intern she believes is her twin. This intern has Sonja’s nose, butLuann de Lesseps‘ voice and it’s all together confusing. That poor girl – Alex – upon realizing her predicament was shocked. In Sonja’s kitchen Luann lectures her about making amends with Bethenny Frankel, but Sonja is not inclined. She’s not going to grovel at the feet of the self-proclaimed Queen B, who is schtupping other women’s husbands and channeling the burden of her hypocrisy by having hysterical projecting meltdowns on Luann. Or at least I think that’s what happened between Bethenny and Luann during the Berkshires Bonanza. Which sounds like a recipe. Maybe Adam and Carole Radziwill can put it in their cookbook?! I give it a “Radish Rating” of 9.
OK, so tonight we got a look at E!’s new show, Famously Single, which throws eight famous(ish) celebs who are, wait for it…..single! They get guidance and counseling by Dr. Darcy Sterling, who talks about celebrity dating like it’s a plight that needs more attention and resources drawn to it. I kept waiting for a “Save the Celebrity Dating World” 800 number to flash on the bottom on the screen so I could donate one dollar a day to help save these regal creatures.
I’ve been waiting patiently for Chef Ben Robinson to lose his facade of cool, and it looks like this is the week he most decidedly will. On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean, Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier can’t differentiate between and entree and an appetizer (both of which are the same in her European view, as the terms are interchangeable), and Ben decides to stop keeping his enemies close, opting to tattle on Hannah’s poor job performance to Captain Mark Howard instead. Captain Mark, and Captain Mark’s eyebrows, are not pleased.
We pick up from last week in the galley, where Hannah is trying to cover her arse by claiming to be confused about the 2-course menu she and Ben had plainly agreed on earlier. The guests are starving, so there will be emergency kebabs! But Ben is not pleased about the botched service that makes him look unprepared. “Stop using that word!” Ben demands when Hannah refers to one of the courses as an entree. Sure, they may be in Europe. But the guests are American, the crew is largely American, and the show we’re all being subjected to is obviously American. Hannah thinks Ben should give her a “goddamn menu!” if he wants his dishes clearly communicated. “Don’t mess with me!” he warns when Hannah goes off about #MenuGate. “I’m shakin’ in my f*kin boots, mate,” she snarks back.
So here’s a run-down of the behind-the-scenes reveals:
1. The producers lie to everyone. Case in point: Alexis Bellino. Alexis insists she quit;Heather Dubrow and Tamra Judge insist she was fired. At the CUT Fitness party, the opening party for season 8, after Alexis flees following the onslaught from the ladies, she is overheard telling the producers, “This is why I didn’t want to come back!” The producers admitted they worked behind the scenes to convince Alexis to return – including that Vicki Gunvalson would befriend her, and by hiring Lydia McLaughlin.
Last night was the first Teen Mom 2 reunion episode of the season and featured Jenelle Evans and Leah Messer, the moms who need the most help. Too bad the doctor in the house – Dr. Drew Pinsky – didn’t offer them any guidance. Rather, he avoided any deep discussion with them and tried to convince everyone that David Eason has been a stabilizing force. Hang up the white coat, Dr. Drew, you’re done.
The reunion starts with all the girls on the couch watching highlights from the season. Dr. Drew asks what jumped out for them watching the recap. For Leah, it was hard to see Ali getting worse throughout the season. Kailyn Lowry says there hasn’t been an easy moment for her the entire season. Jenelle gives the non-answer that they can all learn from each other, which prompts Dr. Drew to bring up social media drama between Kail and Jenelle, who are now pretending to be in a better place (they’re also on opposite ends of the couch). Chelsea Houska, who also had her own issues with Jenelle, tries to avoid more Jenelle rage and simply says all the girls follow each other on Instagram and Twitter. Leah attempts to cut the tension by sharing how nice it is to have the other girls to talk to. Chelsea adds that if she needed something, she could talk to these girls. I just imagine the producers giving them a pep talk before going onstage: “Ok, girls, let’s all pretend we’re best friends and the greatest support for teen moms in their twenties is other teen moms in their twenties.”
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of Dallas. Shockingly we weren’t subjected to a charity event where LeeAnne Locken berated everyone for not knowing their place in the Dallas Charity Scene. Instead Stephanie Hollman and her husband Travis threw an adult kegger-rager to celebrate the Byron Nelson PGA golf tournament being literally in their backyard – which is coincidentally also the Four Seasons.
Only rich people would pay a zillion dollars to regularly have random men strolling through their backyard hitting balls and swinging clubs near their bedroom window, right?!
The party planing consists of Travis micromanaging Stephanie and constantly reminding her that it’s her responsibility to pick up dog poop. Forcing Stephanie to constantly deal with poop is a pretty good euphemism for their marriage because Travis constantly treats Stephanie like poop! Honestly next time he hands her a list and a pooper-scooper, she should just rip it up and snap, “Don’t bring that shit into my house” (ala her cutting comment to LeeAnne in Austin).