Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County was about starting over, with new friends, new introspection, new babies, and new directions for the marriage that cut out the cancerous tumor and got brand spankin’ new cells! David officially decided that he really, really re-loves Shannon Beador for real this time and planned a surprise re-wedding. It was all very nice and lovely.
The marital travails of Shannon and Daviddo beg the question: Can one completely ignore the past and acquire a new beginning? Is it possible to start afresh with brand new red bottoms, unsullied from scuffing along sidewalks trailing behind your husband’s secret life? Like a facelift, can all the old sagging skin of our former misery be lifted up into a permanent smile; a renewed face to face a renewed future?
It’s another day and another opportunity to make design dreams come true on Flipping Out.
The team is ready to pitch Walter E. Smithe, a large furniture and design group in Chicago. Jeff Lewis is still (just a tad) angry because of his unceremonious firing from Living Spaces and he is feeling the pressure to land his next big gig. Gage Edward is just excited about the idea of heading out of town and seeing something besides the inside of their office.
To tell or not to tell? To reveal a deeply humiliating personal secret on Real Housewives Of New York or to be forced into having a deeply humiliating personal secret revealed about yourself? These are the quandaries a lady of Bravo faces as Luann de Lesseps was made to reconcile with both the ghosts of her past and the ghost of her future thanks to a so-called benevolent Bethenny Frankel.
Bethenny is beside herself that Luann has the audacity to be so outrageously happy over a man she’s known for two minutes. Which is sort of hilarious considering that Bethenny got knocked up approximately 5 days after meeting Jason Hoppy then shoved him down the aisle 5 months later!
Last night’s episode of Little Women: Atlanta was just chock-full of awkward conversations and accusations.
We pick right back up with Monie Cashette throwing a romantic breakfast in bed all over poor fiancé, Morlin. Why is Morlin wearing scrambled eggs and orange juice, you ask? Because Monie is mad that he took her ex-best friend, Minnie Ross, to pick out her engagement ring. In Monie’s mind, he’s forcing her relationship with Minnie and she says it’s about respect. Clearly, Monie thinks respect in a relationship is a one way street, otherwise she probably wouldn’t have thrown food on the poor boy. Morlin is surprisingly calm about the whole thing and actually apologized TO her so they can resolve their argument and move on.
Last night, Tonya Banks continued to feel the wrath of boyfriend Kerwin and Terra Jole, who have both apparently decided it’s time to torture Lil’ Boss! But guess who inserts herself into the drama, per usual? It’s everyone’s favorite TMZ source, Christy McGinity Gibel! Oh, Little Women: LA, we cannot fault you for a lack of messiness. We can only sit and observe. And snark.
We pick up right where we left off last week at Tonya’s house, where Kerwin is losing his F-in mind over Tonya not picking up all of her belongings from Jaa’s. Kerwin is obsessed with these crates of garbage merchandise that Tonya and Jaa share as business partners, suspecting that Tonya wants to be another kind of partner to Jaa again. Tonya tries to reason with him, but Kerwin is high on paint fumes or something, because he is nearly ready to break up over this.
Well hot damn was that an exciting episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County! Satan is confusing, and so too is Kelly Dodd. My head is still spinning from all the crazy, but I think it may be one of my favorite episodes ever. SO much happened that it was like watching Real Housewives as guest-directed by Quentin Tarantino.
One thing we have definitely learned in our many years observing Housewives in their native environments is that slightly unhinged women do not mix with tables and prostitution whores. Also “mother” and “not a prostitute” are mutually exclusive. No, Kelly didn’t flip a table, but she did flip an entire coven of Housewives and Housewives associates on their heads with expletive-laden, name calling the likes of which Heather Dubrow(who was ironically wearing leopard in a subtle homage to Real Housewives Of New Jersey, I imagine (intentional or ironic!?)) has never heard!
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey we officially bid “Arrivederci” to Bravo’s bankrupt and brokedown version of Lucy and Ethel, because Teresa Giudice finally told Jacqueline Laurita to take her prosciutto and shove it! She has her own Thankyouverymuch. Or maybe it was the other way around? Oh, and Juicy will be rolley-bagging his homemade wine all the way home!
Things started off on the right foot, at least, with nobody having envy over anybody else. Well, maybe Melissa Gorga envies Poison, ’cause now that she’s a business owner/mom she has to do double the work while STILL listening to him complain. At least the Gorgadices are stepping in the right direction, though! Melissa even invites Teresa and Milania to watch her three kids walk in New York Fashion Week.