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Big Brother 14 began with twelve new houseguests and four coaches. Love them or hate them.. the four returning players were Dan GheeslingBritney HaynesMike Boogie Malin, and Janelle Pierzina.

The season started with a bang, got a little boring in the middle, and then Dan revived it with some brilliant moves. After 75 days in the Big Brother house, only Dan, Ian Terry, and Danielle Murphree remain. 

Who will win Big Brother 14Master of the Mist, Awkward Super Fan, or Crazy Teacher Nurse?

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First of all, I'd like to give a huge "WAY TO GO!" to Mary for a job well done with the Silver Fox yesterday.  While she's recuperating from rubbing elbows with celebrities and trading Housewives gossip with THE Anderson Cooper, I will be taking over the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo recap.  It almost feels like Christmas!  To be totally honest, this family had me "neck rust."  Of course, I don't have to tell you that last night's episode did not disappoint.  I forced my friend to watch it a few weeks ago because he's from the next county over and is familiar with the Kuntry Stoe (it's apparently somewhat famous among tee-niny Georgia towns).  He could only stomach about five minutes of it, but he is also pretty sure he knows people who went to high school with June.  His girlfriend shared with me last night, and I quote, "He's told me about a thirty times how he lives close to Honey Boo Boo."  It appears everyone has been touched by this little pageant angel. 

The show ran the gamut, from Alana's seventh birthday party to June and her money-making schemes (extreme Bingo-ing, y'all!) to make-up lessons to meeting Miss Georgia…who, by the way, doesn't fart.  I know you're totally shocked by that information.  I just can't get enough of these people.  Sit back on your velour pee-stained sectional (hold it in, Chickadee!), stroke your deer yard art, and enjoy.

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Last night's Flipping Out was all about AndrewJeff Lewis thinks that Andrew is really fitting into the office, both for his design taste and ridiculous personality.  As with everything else, they can manage to sexualize a towel rod.  While Gage Edward recognizes that working with such a cast of characters certainly makes the day more entertaining, he isn't quite sure it's how a business should be run.  After some tension and arguing in Chicago regarding Jenni Pulos' wedding plans, Jenni gives Jeff a heartfelt card in hopes of putting the negativity behind them.  Jeff appreciates the note, but he teases Jenni that he deserves more than a $50 gift card since he's walking her through life.  I want to remind Jeff that he already thinks Jenni is spending too much money on this wedding, so he should count his lucky stars!

Jeff's client Lisa can't get over how he treats Jenni.  Jenni, of course, just rolls with the punches.  Lisa is the senior executive producer of Extra, and she hired Jeff to do a few smaller projects around her new home.  In true Jeff fashion, he was able to convince her to do a total overhaul, and now she's concerned about the giant budget.  Like all of Jeff's clients, she does have fun with all the insanity. 

Gage is diligently working on Gramercy.  He really isn't onboard with moving into Spring Hill.  Jeff, meanwhile, is hoping to get Spring Hill finished and permits acquired so they can move in quickly.  Jeff likes that he doesn't have to micro-manage Andrew on all of these projects, although Andrew's comments around contractors and clients are worrying Jenni in her newly minted HR position.

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Last night was the first ever Dance Moms reunion, with the show's executive producer Jeff Collins mediating the crazy.  I really couldn't be more excited that Lifetime jumped on this bandwagon.  Let the insanity fly!  It's a two parter as well, which is always nice!

Abby Lee Miller faces off with the Kelly, Christi, Holly, and MelissaJeff is admittedly nervous, and I can't say I blame him after he shows an "everyone's replaceable" montage followed by some highlights of lighthearted moments interspersed with Abby threatening the moms.  Why do I love this show so much?  It is truly amazing, and we're only two minutes into the episode.

Jeff questions the ladies about Abby's teaching style.  Christi believes that Abby is harsh with some students while being overly kind to others.  Holly, an educator for over twenty years, believes that Abby's direct message is usually on target, but her delivery is off base.  Melissa, of course, sings Abby's praises.  Abby thinks that the mothers have too much time on their hands.  Dance moms of years past weren't as privileged and didn't have the luxury of leaving their jobs to hang out in the studio.  Plus, Abby believes that kids these days get a trophy for just being born…and I couldn't agree more.

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Last night on Real Housewives of New York one special housewife had a resurgence of adolescence when all she talked about was me, me, me, mememememememmememememe! Yep – one whole long hour of Aviva Drescher, her phobias, the horrible St. Barths psycation, and her problems with Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Cum. Luckily Heather Thomson was there to speak for the masses, be the voice of reason, and finally suggest that she maybe just LET. IT. GO.

Things begin with a dinner party in a lovely UES apartment. Attending the party are siamese twins Pinot Singer and Sonja Morgan and  their frienemy LuAnn de Lesseps. Apparently all three ladies share a mutual friend who is probably looking for camera time because she's selling her apartment, her recipes, her interior design business, her dignity, her husband, whatever… 

LuAnn lets us know things have been strained with Jacques since she told him about the incidents in St. Barths, mainly pertaining to a late-night episode in piratry, so she's been giving him extra reassurance that she cares. 

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Last night's Basketball Wives L.A. resumed with Jackie Christie crashing Gloria Govan's tasting party at Malaysia Pargo's request.  As none of the other women had seen Jackie since the reunion (presumably), they were waiting with baited breath for an apology or an explanation…heck, even just a sentence at this point!  Draya Michele is shocked when Jackie just fixes a plate, grabs a cocktail, and sits down silently at the table.  The queen has arrived!

Malaysia makes a toast to explain Jackie's attendance, and both Gloria and Laura Govan have some catty things to get off of their chests.  Jackie is trying to maintain her cool as her buttons are being pushed left and right.  Draya says that Jackie is going to work very hard to regain any kind of trust.  Poor newbie Brooke Bailey just introduces herself.  Jackie begins her apology about being defensive, but Draya and Laura think she is totally lacking sincerity.  I'd have to agree.

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Sometimes Real Housewives of New Jersey is the gift that keeps on giving. And sometimes it's the white elephant present that gets passed round and round at the party cause nobody wants to take it home. After last night's episode I have come to deduce two things: 1) That Kim D and the producers are crazy, maniacal, and will do anything for drama – hence setting up both Teresa Giudice AND Melissa Gorga OR 2) Teresa is the world's best actress, has truly missed her calling, and needs to get on Broadway ASAP. 

I'll do my best to remain neutral in this recap because I have my own opinion on what's going on – regardless of what the other members of the RHONJ are attempting to spin. So it's just check my sanity at the door here and suspend my rational thoughts – you know like any good Jersey Housewife!

And I'll also do my best to remain positive, because when it's all said and done this wasn't a bad episode. For the most part everyone was nice to each other, respectful, and got along. Well, except for Richie Wakile who is doing his damnedest to stay relevant and carve himself a niche in the show. More on him in a minute. 

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Last night on the season premiere of Real Housewives of Miami, Bravo tried to make lemons out of lemonade by teasing us with a fancypants literary reference and dangling feuds and jealousy in our faces. Aaaah, a Tale Of Two Miamis it is not – at least not yet. No, it was more like a tale of bored Housewives doing what they do best: show off, bicker, drink, and surgically alter themselves. Keep on being you, senoritas! 

Alas, things begin with a kicky opening montage of the new girls describing how Old Miami is a thing of the past (you think?) and new Miami is all them. Thus far, Old Miami looks a lot like New Miami and New Miami seems like they want to be Old Miami – if that makes sense. We jump into things by meeting the new girls and checking in with the old ones. And up first is Marysol Patton and and oldest of th Miami bunch, Mama Elsa

Marysol had a tumultuous year. Unfortunately she separated from her husband Philippe (whom we saw her getting married to on a mountain in Aspen) and he has since moved out. So… storyline wedding? Or storyline divorce? Anyway, Mama Elsa thinks it's for the best. In other Marysol updates, she has been seeing a new psychic behind Mama's back and that psychic saw her RHOM contract and informed her she would be meeting a whole bunch of new girls that would cause drama. Gee.. I think I would ask for a REFUND.

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