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It is a rarity to watch an episode of Real Housewives of New York and have any idea what is going on. With the constant insertion of Pinot Singer‘s insanity, I often find myself staring at the TV, mouth agape, simply wondering what the eff?

I generally put Sonja Morgan in the category of ‘nice person under duress’… I’ve pondered whether or not she has Stockholm Syndrome. My pondering is over… the former Mrs. Morgan is now co-captain on the batshit crazy train and headed straight to the asylum. I only hope the drugs are as strong as the delusions.

So last night I’m pretty sure viewers were left with many questions, the most important of all being: How is Sonja friends with a supposed super high-end important NY society people and who the hell let Pinot invade a party with her bad behavior, gross wine, and twenty-years past cute cocktail attire? Only a crazy person would allow that to go on. Where is the Sonja that demanded Alex McCord, her hideous dress, and her equally hideous manners get out of her house? More on all of this later, but first let’s start with Carole Radziwill‘s Christmas dinner.

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Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta began where last week’s left off…with a butt whupping session from Joseline mid-therapy.  Once they get her under control, Mimi Faust admits that she lied about staying with Stevie J. just to see Joseline’s reaction.  Joseline going crazy with jealousy confirms Mimi’s suspicions that Stevie is still seeing Joseline…despite what he’s told her.  The therapist questions Mimi’s intentions, and she says she just wants Stevie to leave her alone.  After hearing all of Stevie’s lies, she’s now interested in Joseline’s side of the story.

Joseline is teary-eyed talking about her lonely childhood.  She admits that she didn’t know much about Mimi because Stevie only referred to her as his baby mama.  Had she known they were still together, Joseline never would have started things with Stevie.  Um, yes she would have–it was clearly in the script!

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Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies (and their omnipresent hardworking spouses) proved that when push comes to shove and contracts are on the line, they can get along like really, really well. In fact the only people not pasting on their happy faces were Caroline Manzo and husband Albert - who I was surprised to hear speak last night.

Things begin with a wake-up binge drink-a-thon amongst the men. The gang decides they are going surfing despite the freezing cold water and their inebriated state of mind. Everyone except Caroline and Al. They prefer whine to wine. Jacqueline Laurita is also sitting this one out because she feels too fat to wear a wetsuit. Didn’t she have this problem last vacation?

Never willing to spare anyone’s feelings both Teresa Giudice and separated at birth sister-in-law Melissa Gorga both strap on some of their more bodacious, sparkly, and revealing bathing suits. ‘LOOK! I’m not fat!’ they both practically shout. The guys are wiping out left and right when Teresa and Kathy Wakile decide to try out their surfboard skills. Melissa is staying ashore to “keep it sexy,” which apparently equals bedazzled. Very, very bedazzled. Like blindingly so.

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Last night’s Big Ang episode wasn’t as lighthearted as the show usually is.  There were no jacuzzi spills or drunken bus rides.  It was all about A.J.

Ang is beside herself that A.J. is at Riker’s Island for “allegedly” selling drugs.  Until he makes bail, she’s watching his allergy ridden dog Kilo.  His dog is named Kilo?  Again, “allegedly” selling drugs.  Perhaps A.J. is just a fan of measurement.  Poor Kilo is shedding, and itching, and blind.  Ang can’t wait for A.J. to come home and claim his dog.

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Last night’s Mob Wives Chicago was a whole mess of drama, but thankfully no one got slapped.  That’s a plus, right?

The ladies are doing a breast cancer walk in honor of Leah Disimone‘s mom.  Renee Fecarotta Russo and Pia Rizza are first to meet Leah.  Nora Schweihs and Christina Scoleri are on their way, and Leah hopes that there won’t be any drama.  Nora is willing to put her differences aside to support Leah’s mom.  Renee isn’t sure she’ll be able to do the same, but she and Pia say that they’ll walk with the group.  Nora thinks it’s weird that Renee and Pia are walking arm in arm, and the two ladies separate from the group to get away from Nora’s voice.  It’s really sad that they can’t see that the walk should be about Leah’s mom and not their petty fights.

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So last night on Project Runway meltdowns happened, two designers said sayonara, and based on some of the so-called work appropriate attire walking down the runway, some of these people have never led life in the real world.

Both Andrea Katz and Kooan said their good-byes by vacating the competition. Raul returned with a vengeance and continued to suck. The designers went to the Michael Kors store to learn what befalls quitters who aren’t bitchy enough – they pussy out and quit PR! They were also there to have it rubbed in their faces about what a big, flipping deal MC is.

So the designers had to create an outfit for the everyday woman on the go. She’s the girl who does everything – she works and cocktails and goes to match.com mixers, she does club hopping and sample sales and mommyhood and then she travels from Paris Fashion Week to Disney World to Kenya but she’s only allowed to have one outfit to wear to everything. So it can’t wrinkle, it can’t be uncomfortable, and it has to be versatile. So that’s like no biggie right?

Yeah – some of these people have never had a job in an office and apparently think all people everywhere work in the office from The Devil Wears Prada.

The guest judges were designer Rachel Roy – who always provides good critique and thoughtful comments – and Hayden Panettiere who was there as the celebrity cuteface.

The best part about this episode was the abundance of Tim Gunn providing actual mentorship and we need more of that. So thanks for a subtle small reminder of what this show used to be.

Since nobody cares about anything but the clothes, Reality Tea is providing you a snap-judgement photocap. C’mon you know that’s how you watch the show, too!

OK, let’s trash discuss some looks!

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Eliminating smelly Frank from the Big Brother house is proving to be impossible!

Week 1: Frank stays and Kara goes. Because Kara was too much of a threat – of taking off her clothes? Honestly, I don’t get the reasoning. Week 2: Frank is Head of Household. Frank’s biggest threat, Willie Hantz, is expelled and JoJo is evicted. Two evictions for the price of one HoH. Week 3: Shane makes a bold move and nominates Frank at Veto. Generally, this guarantees the target is a goner.

Shocker: Big Brother declares a reset. Not only is Frank not going home, neither is the suitable consolation prize, dirty and loud-mouth Joe. And, we’re not done yet, folks! Boogie, Frank’s ally, is now eligible to compete – whether the sour puss likes it or not.

Danielle wins HoH. Froogie spend days whining and complaining about how unfair Big Brother is. Danielle nominates Frank and WilMike Boogie MalinJanelle PierzinaDan Gheesling, and Britney Haynes are in the HoH room together. Boogie says “I don’t trust you” to JanelleDan is convinced Janelle is a bigger threat than Froogie, and the Silent Six is born. At the Power of Veto ceremony, Danielle blindsides Janelle, nominating her for eviction. Poor Jani didn’t even put on makeup for the event. Horrors!

Who wins this round – Boogie or Janelle? Who is the new HoH?

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The Hollywood Exes‘ getaway to Palm Springs wasn’t the nice relaxing time they all hoped for. The Exes dealt with some controversial subjects, including animal rights, religion, and abortion. Seriously, could the topics get any more intense? Whether shopping or participating in drunken acrobats, there were certainly some good times shared as well. However, the bad times dominated the trip and many feelings were hurt. This week, apologies are made with mixed results.

Andrea Kelly meets her new boyfriend Percy for lunch. Percy’s peeking at Andrea’s cheeks, and they’re all smiles. Andrea is happy with Percy. She says he gets her and they have fun. Percy asks about Palm Springs. Andrea’s like, “Oh, you should be asking what didn’t happen in Palm Springs!” Percy is surprised to hear about Jessica Canseco and Sheree Fletcher‘s fight. He’s says, “They don’t even seem like they have anything in common to argue about.”

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