Recaps

Survivor: Millennials Vs. Gen X recap

No matter what generation you belong to, certain rules of Survivor apply to all ages. For starters, many of the “greats” that have played the game have been called by their last names: Hatch, Cochran, Savage, etc. (this is good news for you “Figgy” fans, as this is a play on her last name, Jessica Figueroa).

Another classic lesson learned though, is never get comfortable. Just when you think you’re on the top, you’re usually sharing the screen with a lower-third graphic that reads #blindside. Such was the case tonight, on the latest episode of Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X – an episode that saw the bottom-feeders fighting for survival and those resting on their laurels get a rude awakening.

Here’s your “spoiler” warning, so if you have yet to see Episode 3 please do so and then check back here! Beyond this point we will be talking about all of the juicy details of what transpired during the episode. You’ve been warned!

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Below Deck recap

Last week on Below Deck, we waved goodbye to Trevor Walker with our middle fingers and saw Sierra Storm break down in tears over a high stress night in the kitchen with Ben Robinson. Now, Miss “I Need To Have Positivity Around Me” is thinking about leaving because of her super special hurt feelings.

But before anyone can muster any forced sympathy for Sierra, they’ll have to adjust to a new deckhand on board. And he’s here to add more complexity to the already messy love triangle (growing quickly into a trapezoid!) on Valor. It’s gonna be stormy seas, folks!

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County, there was a whiff of secrets in the air and Shannon Beador made the decision to ‘fake it til she doesn’t have to make it anymore’ in her non-friendship with Vicki Gunvalson.

It’s not like Shannon had an epiphany No, she was just tired of everyone pointing out the obvious: she has unresolved issues with Vicki. Of course Vicki resorted to thinly veiled threats basically forcing Shannon to act like her friend, or else, because the best way to start over is by holding a person hostage by potential secrets. ‘Or else’ what…we’re not sure since Vicki has the ‘or else’ in ‘the vault’ stored alongside the date she realized Brooks was faking cancer.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey recap

Last night was the dramatic conclusion of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey trip to Vermont. What started as a half-hearted placebo of a cast trip which no one was really thrilled to be attending, turned into attack of the abominable Sno-Housewife roaring her icy accusations into everyone’s chicken wing salad. I don’t know that I was entertained, per se, but there were lots of twists and turns on the bobsled ride to hell and back!

Being around Jacqueline Laruita must be so exhausting. Like trying to chart tornado paths. Honestly – I’d rather just go hide in the bomb cellar, cause with Jacqueline you never know if you’re going to get Glinda the Good Witch or her sister, and no sparkly shoes are worth all that drama.

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90 Day Fiance recap

Last night we finally met TLC’s fifth couple on this season’s 90 Day Fiance and – lest we get too overly excited that this might be the one normal couple on this trainwreck of a show – we find out they are also a total and complete mess!

Narkyia and Olulowo (called “Lowo”) met when Lowo catfished Narkyia, lying to her about his whereabouts, having a dead baby-mama, and being a Nigerian prince. You know, the usual for internet scum. But she decided to marry his lying arse anyway. Oh, and Nicole and Azan have their first big fight! Shocker.

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Little Women: Atlanta recap

On Little Women: Atlanta, we are slowly but surely switching from baby fever to bridal fever. With Monie Cashette’s wedding planning in full swing, the girls have no choice but to come along for the ride and see how the friendships play out with the Bridezilla that can’t budget.

Monie has been keeping herself busy with anger management classes and delusions of wedding grandeur. Poor Morlin is stuck not only trying to keep Monie’s temper in check, but her spending too. Good luck with that, buddy. One way he has suggested they cut costs is by supplying their own alcohol at the reception and Monie tentatively agrees, provided she can still get “the fancy stuff.” I was busy wondering when Monie got so high maintenance until she makes a bee line for the Moscato, stating that she only deserves the best. The best being a $16 bottle of wine.

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Don't Be Tardy recap

With six kids, a chef, and more dogs than I can keep track of, it’s safe to say that Kim Zolciak Biermann and Kroy Biermann like to live in excess. Last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy highlights, underlines, and throws a bunch of exclamation points on that excess as we watch Kim continue to push for one more kid, but maybe settle for a puppy instead.

The idea originally pops up thanks to resident daughter/assistant/unofficial Fit Tea sales rep, Brielle. While Kash and KJ adorably wreck the kitchen in an attempt to cook something, Brielle, who previously stated that their house was like a daycare, mentions that it’s time for another dog. Brielle’s highly interested in cross-breeding two dogs until Tracey points out how many dogs are stuck in shelters and need good homes. Brielle doesn’t seem thrilled but will take what she can get and production Tracey pulls a few strings to arrange for the family to volunteer over the weekend.

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Little Women: LA recap

Since the season began, Christy McGinity has spiraled down into a pit largely of her own making. Now that she has no farther to fall, it’s time for the rest of these Little Women: LA ladies to start turning on each other! Which is just what happens this week when Jasmine Sorge decides she needs to confront Terra Jole about whether she’s a true friend or not. Because she’s not a pet owner. If you’re still scratching your head over that one, well, so am I.

Before we descend into total madness, we travel to the plastic surgeon’s with Elena Gant, who’s brought Terra along for support. Elena wants to get her a$$ stretch marks lasered off, which is rich considering she inserted implants into her butt before getting pregnant. I guess it’s reality check time. Elena tells Terra that she was unhappy with Preston’s surprise party, especially because she didn’t want to be around that level of drama on her birthday.

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