Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of Dallas. Shockingly we weren’t subjected to a charity event where LeeAnne Locken berated everyone for not knowing their place in the Dallas Charity Scene. Instead Stephanie Hollman and her husband Travis threw an adult kegger-rager to celebrate the Byron Nelson PGA golf tournament being literally in their backyard – which is coincidentally also the Four Seasons.
Only rich people would pay a zillion dollars to regularly have random men strolling through their backyard hitting balls and swinging clubs near their bedroom window, right?!
The party planing consists of Travis micromanaging Stephanie and constantly reminding her that it’s her responsibility to pick up dog poop. Forcing Stephanie to constantly deal with poop is a pretty good euphemism for their marriage because Travis constantly treats Stephanie like poop! Honestly next time he hands her a list and a pooper-scooper, she should just rip it up and snap, “Don’t bring that shit into my house” (ala her cutting comment to LeeAnne in Austin).
Admit it. You’ve been waiting on Thomas Ravenel’s epic dinner party since it was first teased on this season’s Southern Charm premiere. Was it everything you hoped it would be? That and more, of course! Regardless of what is going on now between T-Rav and Kathryn Dennis, last night the aging playboy had his baby mama’s back…or does he just love to hijack his own event–remember that Glass Menagerie speech?
As the cast greets the new day on last night’s episode, Whitney Sudler-Smith gifts mother Patricia Altshul with a grand-dog. She’s thrilled with the new pooch and doesn’t seem to realize that in these situations, puppies are the universal substitute for someone who isn’t quite ready for the real thing. Maybe someone should have bought Kathryn and Thomas a kennel? Craig Conover pops in to visit Kathryn and meet St. Julien Rembert who is merely a week old. She asks him which parent Julien favors more, but Craig thinks all babies look identical. Plus, he’s not sure who the father is to even be able to make that assessment. Man, with friends like Craig, who needs enemies? So much for being Kathryn’s biggest cheerleader! Kathryn reveals that two babies are easier than she’d anticipated, and the relationship she’s always dreamed of with T-Rav is finally within reach.
After watching the Shahs of Sunset since the beginning, tonight’s episode has been a long time coming. The lightning fast dissolution of the marriage between Mike Shouhedand Jessica Parido didn’t exactly surprise anyone, but the fact that Jessica stuck around without revealing what happened did. That all stopped tonight when Jessica made it clear what Mike can do with his golden dool.
It’s a Sister Wives miracle! Last night’s episode was only an hour long! Yeah, yeah, there was an hour long special afterwards, but the producers weren’t trying to drag out thirty minutes worth of the Browns’ story lines into two hours of show. Ariella May is now four-weeks-old, and the family has enjoyed passing her around. Christine is addicted to holding the baby, and Robyn believes her broken collarbone is healing nicely. The wives coo over how precious the baby is and Kody delights in doing impressions of his newborn daughter. However, he questions Robyn if she feels comfortable taking a new baby to Hawaii. If Robyn stays home with Aria, Kody reminds his wife that Solomon will have to stay behind as well.
It’s back to the therapist’s office for Meri and Janelle, and Nancy wants to know if the pair was successful with their dual decorating project at Thanksgiving. Janelle hedges around the fact that Meri spear-headed the project with little input from her, and she tries to get her point across delicately and without blame. Of course, Meri is glaring down Janelle like she’s responsible for the catfishing. Meri interjects to add she’d hoped that Janelle would have participated more and had more of a voice. The women nervously laugh at their inability to communicate. Janelle suggests that the two try again on their upcoming trip to Hawaii. Meri isn’t feeling it. Christine and Robyn are hopeful that their sister wives will build a friendship.
Yeah, I’m just gonna admit it – I didn’t want to write this Real Housewives Of New York recap. I had to rally and force myself, because last night was just so icky, fake, mean, desperate, and scheming. I wish for Carole Radziwill and Bethenny Frankel to take a good, hard, long inventory of their lives before they judge one more person. That display last night was, again, all kinds of hypocrisy and person-shaming, and lady bashing. I don’t care how much they boast about how it was one of the greatest episodes of all time – it wasn’t, in my opinion. So it’s round two of Get Crass With The Countess.
I don’t think Luann is any sort of innocent – she is annoyingly self-righteous, her jumpsuit was sinfully ugly, and I was pissed that she turned supplicant by apologizing to Bethenny after Bethenny’s barrage of insults. Also, I do think Luann likes to shift around the truth of things – like her relationship with Tom – but I don’t think anyone deserves the sort of treatment Bethenny dished out and I think Luann more than held her own in a calm manner, which impressed me.
We last saw the Little Women: NY in the midst of some serious baby shower drama. If you weren’t keeping up, an uninvited Lila Call decided her drama desire to be there was more important than an actual invite to frenemy Katie Snyder’s special day. Jessica Capri, who planned the whole thing, was left to try and kick Lila out on her own while Katie was unexpectedly called in by the doctor and thus, missed her own baby shower.
We resume with Jess storming out of her own house and the party she planned, with the shower guests looking on, totally bewildered. Jason Perez does his best to explain to Lila that this is just like the time when he brought Terra Jole to their apartment and Lila threw a hissy fit because she wasn’t invited. Nice try, Jason, but that wilted purple feather covering half of Lila’s head is not going to allow any logic to sink into her brain right now. Dawn Lang tries to jump in but Jason shuts her down immediately as the guests look on. Someone pop some damn popcorn already!
Dinner is botched! A boat nearby sinks into the Mediterranean Sea! The skies darken, and the Greek Gods rain lightning down upon the Ionian Princess! Is it Danny Zureikat’s fault? Eh, probably. Actually, we get a break from nonstop Danny drama this week to explore the ineptitude of the rest of the cast. Namely Hannah Ferrier, whose communication skills with Ben Robinson (and with everyone else aboard) need some serious work. Welcome to this week’s Below Deck Mediterranean: People Who Suck At Their Jobs Edition!
We pick back up at the bar where Bryan Kattenburg is ripping Danny a new one. He wants Danny to remember he’s a bottom guy. Does that make Bryan a top? Bobby Giancola is trying his best to wear Julia D’Albert-Pusey down, despite her boyfriend back home. Outside, Ben apologizes for not having Hannah Ferrier’s back when it comes to Danny and his many antics. Instead of accepting his apology, Hannah accuses Ben of being “abusive,” which is laughable. Ben’s like, ah, whatever. Friends, then? Great! Buh-bye! He sped the apology session up to escape the emotionally unstable Hannah. Smart move.
Jenelle, David, the boys, and Maryssa are in the car headed to go fishing. Kaiser is screaming as usual and Jace joins in. David yells at Jace that he’s six years old and shouldn’t be screaming like a girl. I bet he also tells Jace not to do things that seem “gay.” By the time they get to the lake, Jenelle and David are both irritated with Kaiser’s squealing. Jenelle points her finger at him and yells at him to stop screaming, which obviously doesn’t work. David says he takes after his daddy, Nathan Griffith, who’s a “little screaming bitch.” Sounds like a more apt description of Jenelle. Jenelle swears they’re never taking Kaiser with them on the boat again because they can never do anything with him around. Did she expect that a toddler was going to be able to sit on a boat for a few hours and care at all about fishing?