Last night Heather Dubrow was in full manners crusader role as she hosted a hoedown ground breaking party for her new mansion in the sky. In case you didn't know, Heather is above everyone else – literally.
Before all that, the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County continued to bicker and give their varying accounts of "chairgate". When will Bravo stop trying to make "…gate" happen? They should re-title the franchise Real Housewives Gate. Anyway, back to chairgate. UGH.
Heather complains to Terry that Shannon Beadorturned into the Incredible Hulk (it must be all the supplements!), wrenched the chair out from under her and bellowed SHANNON SMASH SOCIALITE! It was frankly alarming to Miss Dubrow – positively frightening. She's really considering therapy for the horrifying injustice she endured. True confession: I tuned out. I think Terry did too. Heather's complaints went on for a while.
Last night's episode started and stopped with lots of lady brawling, beginning right where last week's ended, with Karlie Redd going loco on Yung Joc's realtor/chauffeur/stylist/side piece Khadiyah. As the women are parted, Joc enters the room, and he's so confused as to why the two women he's bedding are fighting after he forced them to spend the afternoon together. After he admits to sleeping with Khadiyah, Karlie tells him he needs to check his hos, and she screams at Khadiyah that she hopes her lady parts taste good. Keepin' in classy! Karlie is so over Joc, and she declares she never wants to see him again…once he gives her a ride home. Joc can't seem to persuade her to get the heck out of his car, and when he exits the vehicle for a hot second, she jumps into the drivers' seat and peels off down the road. Joc laughs to himself…what did he expect?
Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies confronted Ramona P. Singer (the P stands for Pinot) about her behavior in the Berkshires. Most specifically a pseudo meltdown that was the perfect segue for her to ditch them and hit up a Molly Simms party in the Hamptons. Oh that Ramona – she's so devious! However, by the sheer power of their conviction and the fortitude of LuAnn de Lesseps' self-described "linebacker shoulders," the ladies were able to make a slight dent in Ramona's AquaNet facade and she actually apologized to Kristen Taekman. How that went is another story, but let's start back in the Berks (can I tell you how tired I am of typing that word… ).
Back in the Berkshires the ladies are are seriously hungover after a night of binge drinking and pinot-trashing. I can assume many a bottle of Ramona Pinot was smashed as well. Heather Thomson wakes everyone up because soon they'll be forced into an AM yoga class. Sonja Morgan awakes in a negligee with the remains of her bumpit! trembling on one side of her head – she's also missing a cubic zirconium diamond earring. Sonja is super sad that Ramona manipulated her and wonders how much of their friendship has been a farce. The other ladies look just as worse for the wear.
On last night's episode of 16 And Pregnant seventeen-year-old former Mormon Karley Shipley welcomed TWIN girls.
Karley and baby-daddy-turned-husband Tony are polar opposites; they met when straight-A student Karley tutored tatted-up bad boy jerk (aka Adam Lind 2.0) Tony, who ended up dropping out of high school – but at least he got learning in the ways of love.
After finding out she was pregnant, Karley and Tony decided to get married and they moved in with her parents. She switched to homeschooling and abandoned her plans to pursue a scholarship to University of Utah while Tony works full-time at an autobody shop. Sounds sweet, right? Nope! Tony just can't get his priorities straight. It turns out the couple was fighting when Karley found out she was pregnant and Tony thought she was lying to trap him. And this sounds like the perfect time to get married, right? Stability 101! Tony is glad, however, because he thinks the situation has made him grow up. If last night was a grown up Tony, then that's astonishing.
Oh, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, how you make Mondays worthwhile. While last night's episode was a bit boring in comparison to what we've been watching so far this season, at least their acting skills are improving…or maybe I had one too many glasses of wine. Yeah, that was probably it.
It's date night for Joseline Hernandez and Stevie J. He's trying to wine and dine her so she won't blow up at him when he tells her that their big wedding will have to wait until he's got more money in the bank. Beforehand, they discuss their big plans for a lavish wedding ceremony, and she doesn't seem to upset to postpone the party until they have more cash flow. She is, however, not happy that Stevie can't remember their actual anniversary. Funny, didn't she stumble over the date at her birthday party. Because Mona Scott Young won't grant me subtitles, I can't elaborate on what Joseline is whining about, but it has something to do with getting rid of her booking agent Dawn for not getting her any gigs. Stevie is worried she won't be able to separate out business and friendship when it comes to dealing with Dawn.
Unfortunately Peter's portions of The Husbands Revealed paled in comparison to Apollo "Loose Lips" Nida's marital revelations! The sit-down with the hubbies echoed that unfortunate scene in Mexico where they all sit around smoking cigars and taking shots – except this timeKenya Moore didn't crash. However, she was a hot topic of conversation!
Apollo arrives at the Bar One gathering in sunglasses. "I wear my sunglasses at night…" and the reason – his wife Phaedra Parks SLAPPED HIM. Then she embalmed his face and stuck in a stake in the front yard American Horror Story style! Oh wait, whoops – this is only Bravo. So boring!
Last night the fallout in the Berkshires continued! One might think if you, you know accidentally had a "knee jerk" reaction and threw a glass object at someone's face thus cutting them in the process, one might feel compelled to apologize. You know, sincerely.
One might assume since you just injured someone over the fact that they got your hair wet – hair that didn't look good to begin with and looked no worse after the horrific splashing that caused you to lash out and so aggressively you flung not only a glass object, but a boat oar at their face – you would feel some modicum of remorse. But alas, I presume none of us are Ramona Singer. So, yeah – logic does not apply. So that's what happened on last night's Real Housewives of New York.
After Ramona caused all this damage she faked a panic attack, lied, and got the hell out of dodge. You know what the most hysterical part in all of this is – Ramona is still trying to convince people she's classy. Oh girl… I think there's a whole chapter in Class With The Countess dedicated to you and explaining what it is you do that's not classy.
I don't know where MTV is finding the girls on this season's 16 And Pregnant, because each one has a more messed up situation than the next! I can only hope this is proof that the show is definitely lowering the teen pregnancy rate and fewer girls are in fact getting pregnant.
Last night 17-year-old Summer Rewis and her boyfriend DJ gave birth to son Peyton as they dealt with Summer's moms drug addiction and Peyton's health problems. Summer and DJ are from Collins, GA and need subtitles. Often. Summer is super cute and despite her rough childhood seems level-headed and sweet. She and DJ have a pretty stable relationship and I like them.
While Summer's mom is a hot mess, DJ's parents are very supportive and let the couple live with them while Summer completes high school and DJ goes to school to become a welder. Summer also has 3 younger half-sisters whom she's close with. One happens to be called Pookie, which I'm just gonna hope is a nickname. Another says she has feet that smell like Fritos.