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Last night on Project Runway, I don't know what the heck happened. There were bake sales and sign waving, begging on street corners, and tye-dying t-shirts, and hawking things, and ring-around the teams. And lots of bickering. That happened too. Ugh… please, too much going on – just sew already! 

It was all around cuckoo. Everyone was divided into three teams of three. Can we please get this Elena on some anti-anxiety drugs. Or at least some Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio or something. 

Team One was Team Maximum Manic Pixie Drama, aka Christopher, Sonjia, and Gunnar. Team Two was Team Maximum Former Soviet Bloc Face-Off, aka Elena, Alicia, and my poor besieged Dmitry. Team Three was Team Delusions of Grandeur, aka Ven. And Melissa Ven. And Fabio Ven. 

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Last week on Big Brother, Britney Haynes fell victim to Dan Gheesling's impressive control over this game. In a shocking twist, Dan and Frank Eudy made a final two deal, Frank convinced Jenn Arroyo to veto Dan's nomination, and then Frank (and house) took out Britney.

Ian Terry, Britney's closest ally, won Head of Household. The Quack Pack (Dan, Danielle, Murphree, Ian, and Shane Meaney) promptly reunited and targeted Frank. Ian nominated Frank Eudy and Jenn Arroyo.  Dan won Power of Veto and removed Jenn from the block. (Ugh! I'm totally going to be singing "Jenny from the Block" for the rest of the day. And so are you now. You're welcome.)  Ian nominated Joe Arvin

Who will be evicted – Frank or Joe? Also, it's a double elimination night! 

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On last night's episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo the family celebrated Fourth of July southern redneck style. It included parties on the lake, gourmet meals, cabanas on the lawn, luxury shopping, chauffeured cars, and sunbathing and swimming. So relaxing. But before all that they had to get to pamperin'. Shhhh… It's A Wig! 

Honey needs a new pageant "wiglet" or a semi-full piece to add accent to her hair so they go to some place called Shhh… It's A Wig. Which may just be the best thing any of these Boo Boos have ever heard. Well, except Chubs. She lays down on the floor for a nap. Snore… It's A Wig!

Although the wig they put on Honey looks a lot like a Dolly Parton gone electrocuted, the family decides to have fun with it and do a wig fashion show. The store clerk deems them very interesting while she hopes they leave before breaking anything and that her establishment gets plenty of business courtesy of TLC. 

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Last night's was the season premiere of Flipping Out, and here's hoping it's as neurotic as ever!  We've even got some new characters to add in the mix, along with old favorites.

Jenni Pulos is back full-time with Jeff Lewis, and I love the banter between the two of them.  Jeff tells ZoilaChavez that she needs to plunge the upstairs toilet.  He blames the new design associate Vanina and her tampons for the clog.  Vanina looks mortified.  Zoila doesn't buy it…she knows it's Jeff's number twos that are the problem.  That Zoila has quite the mouth on her, and I love it.

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Searching for stability, searching for sobriety… a whole lot of searching… and that, my friends, is how Dr. Drew Pinsky sums up the final season of Teen MomThen he welcomes Farrah Abraham, Maci Bookout, and Catelynn Lowell to the reunion special. Amber Portwood is at summer camp and unable to attend the taping. 

When Dr. Drew glosses over Amber's absence, I know that this was taped a while back. I mean, "legal and personal issues" and "voluntary five-year prison term" aren't even in the same ballpark. If the "reunion show" isn't going to be taped in real time, I think it's kind of pointless. 

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of the reunion, ha, who am I kidding? It's Dr. Drew. Let me start again.

Teen Mom Series Finale Recap

Before we get into the limp lettuce and soggy potatoes of the reunion, Dr. Drew reminds us what happened this season on Teen Mom, as if it isn't already permanently burned into our brains. (I'll show you my scar tissue, if you show me yours.) Alas, the highlights…

Amber and Gary Shirley fight. Amber enters rehab after she threatens suicide. Rehab takes away Amber's fake eyelashes and spray tan but not her drugs. Amber goes home. Amber and Gary fight. Gary gets sole custody of Leah.

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Last night's Dance Moms saw the entire troupe getting to compete in solo numbers, as Abby has decided that this one dance will determine who gets the spotlight at Nationals.  No need to factor in all of their other performance, right?

After last week's competition in California, the troupe will be staying on the West Coast to compete again.  Abby Lee Miller applauds her dancers for being such polite young ladies to Nikaya and little Kaya, who are notably absent from the pyramid.  However, she tells the mothers they weren't nearly as kind or mature as their daughters, and they managed to run off yet another potential dancer.  Isn't that always the case?  Kendall is at the bottom of the pyramid, but she's glad to at least be back on the team.  Paige joins her, and while Abby thought she did great, she wasn't dancing full out because of her injury.  Brooke and Maddie round out the bottom…Brooke for being off-beat and Maddie for blending in with her teammates during the group routine.  Nia is on the second tier.  Abby thinks that Nia did a great job on her solo, but she needs to work on her technique.  Chloe joins Nia, with MacKenzie in the top spot.  She's beaming.

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These people are never going to go away are they?  Last night was the second half of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion.  It was basically two sets of screaming love triangles with smug and sometimes unintelligible men at the center.  Needless to say, Mona Scott-Young loved it!

We resume with the infamous love triangle among this crazy cast of characters.  Mona asks Stevie J. point blank if he and Joseline are still together.  After some beating around the bush, he tells her that they are no longer seeing each other.  Joseline laughs, saying that she was only using Stevie for sex and money anyway–she doesn't need the headache that comes with seeing Stevie.  Mona revisits the three-way therapy session.  Mimi Faust is very defensive when she tells Mona that she was just trying to keep her family together when she agreed to counseling.  When Stevie implies that Mimi was only with him for his money, she goes ballistic, and he smugly puts on his sunglasses and leans back on the couch.  He has got to have some kind of major personality disorder, right?  At least we have some Joseline one-liners to break up the swearing. 

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Last night on Real Housewives of New York gale force winds and torrential rains swept through the tiny island of St. Barths. Yes, Hurricane Aviva had arrived and she was there with a vengeance and a fury. Whipping through the villa, shaking the trees with the huffs and blows of her screams and drenching the luxury with her tears and anger. 

Oh, Aviva Drescher. She wanted a red carpet, a cookie, for her husband to be exalted as a saint all because she got on an airplane and showed up. Too bad everyone else was like, 'whatever bitch – have a drink.' So yeah – needless to say paths were crossed, enemy lines were drawn, and her arrival sank like a torpedoed submarine. 

Before we get to all of that, the girls are still – shockingly – getting along, despite Pinot Singer's insistence at stalking the lovely and handsome pirate one night stand of LuAnn de Lesseps. 'Tomas! Whacha do last night? ' Pinot leered, wine sloshing over the top of her glass, wine bloat bursting out of her hideous flesh-colored dress, eyes popping and crackling with desire. Not desire for Tomas you understand, but desire for incriminating information. 

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