Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta fabulous was redefined by one koo-koo-kachoo ex-pageant queen with a penchant for repurposing curtains into ball gowns, I s'pose! Kenya Moore was up to her old antics again and apparently "old" is the operative word because if you want that woman to lose what few marbles she has just point out that she is over 40. Dang, just tell people it's your 5th annual 39th birthday!
The other thing that happened was the epiphany of NeNe Leakes. It seemed our fair Ms. Leakes had turned over a new leaf this episode. She played many roles: peace maker, investigator of truth and intent, ring bearer and secret keeper, friend and foe, and most importantly WWF referee. Most interestingly was NeNe's opposition to drama as she stayed calm and collected throughout. I think I like this new NeNe, who has emerged the mother superior of RHOA.
Before somebody went Gone With The Wind Fabulous on us, she went after Phaedra Parks' husband Apollo. We're back at the pool where a desperate Kenya was wondering if she could borrow Apollo free of charge for a few baby-making endeavors. Kenya's wig, weave – whatever – is looking as nutty as she is; all ratty and gnarled! Is this the case of the girl wearing the hair or the hair wearing the girl?
Last night we were treated to a double dose of Sister Wives, but it wasn't really more of Kody Brown's lion mane. TLC just gave us two thirty minute episodes instead of one hour-long program. There's drama and Kody tears…it's not funny. So why am I laughing as I type? Perhaps because when I typed it, I didn't realize that Kody was crying over the loss of a dog…I am a horrible person. I am so saddened that the Browns have to deal with putting down their twelve-year-old family member.
On the first episode, the family meets to go over the different options for the homes. Granite countertops? Christine Brown is quick to pick her back splashes and cabinets, but Meri Brown and Robyn Sullivan Brown are slow to make a decision. Meri is willing to get another job so she can have what she wants in the house. Seriously, Meri? You're too good for sliding glass doors? She really isn't willing to budge on what she wants in her home even though she's over budget. I love that Christine won't offer up any of her extra cash even though she comes in under budget. I totally get that Meri shouldn't be punished budget wise just because she wasn't able to have more kids, but on the flip side, she should be thanking her lucky stars she's getting a ginormous home for herself while her sister wives will have kids doubling up in bedrooms. I normally really like Meri, but she needs to get over herself.
Thanks Meri, for making me tear up by showing me an aging, sick dog. It breaks my heart. I'm such a dog person, and I've lost two dogs when I was growing up to old age, and one who was hit by a car as an adult. I just let my four-legged child get up on the sofa with me to watch this show because all of this dog story line is so sad. Meri and Kody call in all the children to say good-bye to Drake, and the kids are bawling crying and taking pictures with the sweet pooch.
Over at Janelle Brown's house, it's time to hit the gym. She is up at quarter till five in the morning, and she's heading to meet with her trainer. I think it's very brave of Janelle to share her weight loss struggles. Christine is very proud of her sister wife's dedication. Janelle's trainer is is not only working on her body, but he's also trying to help her change her eating behavior. She is very determined.
It would appear that Bimini isn't a place of relaxation or fun if you happen to be a member of the Real Housewives of Miami. Nope, instead it happens to be a place of arguments, backstabbing, and bitchery. Really, though a Housewife is capable of turning even a spa that has Valium-laced water into a place of chaos and crazy.
Things began last night with Karent Sierra and her smile of denial continuing to see the RED RUM writing on the wall as a reminder to make mixed drinks. In short, Karent refuses to deal with reality. The next morning after learning that Rodolfo may or may not be dating a 24-year-old hottie she decides to just pretend all that yucky mess doesn't exist. I hope she's better at tackling dental problems than she is at dealing with real life.
While Joanna Krupa and Lisa Hochstein would prefer to focus on their breakfast and making sure their hair and make-up look appropriately tussled and natural, yet perfect; Lea Black can take no more. She comes right out and asks Karent why she didn't defend her relationship to the other ladies after they accused her of faking it for the cameras. Karent just keeps that daft smile on her face.
I realize they are probably too old to be the party animals they are at this age (although that throws a wrench in my social plans), but they are still human, vulnerable, and fun-loving. You can't help but relate to that…or maybe you can't, but I can.
On last night's episode, the boys have recently made peace with Jionni. Jenni calls Roger who reveals that Jenni has been pot stirring about Jionni's mismatched relationships with the guy roommates. Jenni isn't happy that Jionni says she's been talking crap about her. Rawn is quick to defend Jenni although he knows what was said at the guys' night out. Jenni decides to go straight to the source and calls Jionni. She questions why Jionni thinks that she's been talking smack. As far as Jenni is concerned, Jionni wasn't present for the first half of the summer. He bends, she forgives, and the pair loves each other for the sake of Snooki.
Newcomer Tyler Wiard and returning chef C.J. Jacobsen were sent home for being the worst of the worst. While Tyler went out as humble as ever, C.J.'s whiny ways didn't do him any favors.
Padma Lakshmi and Marilyn Hagerty, food writer for the Grand Forks Herald, introduce this week's Quickfire Challenge. Marilyn has been writing about middle-American restaurants for 30 years. About her career, Marilyn says, "It's been a hoot." Too cute! One day, I hope to look back on my career and say it's been a hoot.
The challenge: each chef must create a sweet and savory holiday dish reflecting his or her cultural heritage. The cheftestants have only 30 minutes and must share one knife. The twisty mustache gets first dibs on the knife, so the other chefs get creative with graters, meat slicers, spatulas, pizza cutters, and busted scissors.
Last night's Teen Mom 2 was thankfully less dramatic than normal. It was a refreshing break from the normal yelling and sobbing. Of course there were tears (after all Chelsea Houska is still on the show!), but it wasn't the normal Jenelle Evans drama. Kailyn Lowry ended a relationship while Leah Messer started a new one. Over all, it was a relatively low-key episode.
Jordan is still distrusting of Kailyn when it comes to her spending time with Jo. While I can see his point with her, I don't think he needs to worry about Jo…he seems to be well over Kailyn. The following day at school, Kailyn chats with a friend about their love triangle…and there's that flipping feather in her hair! Her friend wants her to try being single for a while. Kailyn hasn't been single since she was fifteen. She basically admits that she's with Jordan for support.
Jenelle is trying to put her anger towards her mom aside so she can spend time with Jace. His second birthday is coming up, but she can't plan a party because she's too busy lunching with friends and worrying about her parole violation. I'm guessing she's probably smoking a bunch of weed as well. Jenelle has decided that she's going to quit smoking and send her probation officer an apology letter in hopes of avoiding jail time. Her friend Tori promises to quit smoking as well so Jenelle won't have to be drug-free all alone. Sweet!
So what was going on last night, Bravo? A word of advice: If you can't air the storyline, then, you know don't air the story. But I suppose that would mean forgoing some major drama and they can't have that, can they?
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has made a case for going where no show goes before into the gory, depraved, salacious, and libelous department. And last night was no exception.
Before we get to the good stuff let's discuss Splits Richards trying to show off that she's the new rich biatch in town. She's giving her 16-year-old, the one who couldn't parallel part last week, a brand new Mercedes coupe. That's the perfect first car to total, amirite! It's apparently because Mauricio is now raking in the dough big time with his new real estate agency.
Personally, I'm really over the daughter driving story. I mean who is she – a Kardashian? Furthermore, those shorts are too short for a 16-year-old. I guess she's also taking fashion advice from Aunt Paris.
Can you believe that we've finally come to the finale of this season's Basketball Wives LA? I feel like we've been watching the Jackie Christie Show for eons! Am I right? Needless to say, last night's show resolved nada, so we have to wait on pins and needles for the reunion!
We're back on Borboun Street, y'all, and Draya Michele is hella hungover, so she misses out on the cooking lesson with Laura Govan, Brooke Bailey, Jackie, Bambi, Malaysia Pargo, and Gloria Govan. I'm sure that Draya planned it. Jackie is visibly upset because she has just received a text message from her daughter regarding Laura's conversation with said offspring. I can't tell if Jackie is wearing a make-shift beret or some kind of homemade sock hat. Malaysia and Bambi are quick to wade in Jackie's drama pool. Bambi is appalled at Laura's behavior. Can someone please buy her a box set of last season's DVDs?
Over lunch, Jackie questions Laura about her intentions with her daughter. The other ladies take their cues and leave the table so Jackie and Laura can hash out their differences. Laura maintains a poker face while Jackie pleads her case about Chantal. Laura admits that she originally spoke to Chantal to discredit Jackie, but after chatting with Jackie's daughter, she realized her anger towards Jackie was misplaced. It was during her conversation with Chantal that Laura realized that she needed change her intentions. Her master plan was to bring down Jackie, but after speaking with Chantal, she knew that revenge wasn't the answer. Jackie is unsure of how to take Laura's confession.