Last week on Manzo’d With Children, we left with Albie Manzo and Lauren Manzo fighting on the deck about her disapproval of Albie’s new girlfriend, Brittany. Albie stormed off and went crying to Caroline about how people need to just stay out of his business. Lauren (having no friends) calls her fiancé, Vito Scalia crying about how mean Ablie was to her. Caroline Manzo doesn’t want Albie and Lauren to fight and certainly doesn’t want either of them to not speak to each other ever again. So mama Manzo tells Albie to get over himself and tells Lauren she should have not called Albie a d%*k and a douche and to make peace otherwise they are all kicked out of the house (yeah right, Caroline).
This big blowout causes Albie to make a 911 call to Amber, his life coach, for a home visit STAT! Amber uses her jump to conclusion mat to discover that perhaps Caroline and Lauren are too involved in Albie’s life and their motivations are more about themselves than Albie’s well-being. Bingo. Well, hopefully Albie will be able to resolve this issue with Lauren in a civilized way.
I don’t mean to be negative but compared to previous seasons this one was kind of weak sauce, no? I mean, Fabellini has more sparkle than last night’s finale did. And dare I say it, it’s far less tacky!
Really – what could possibly be more tacky than having your boobs, butt, and midriff hangout at a charity fashion show for children with cancer?! Oh wait – trying to start a fight at one… while your boobs threaten to pop out of your Posche clearance special gown! When you get a reputation for running out of stores without paying for the clothes, I suppose you get stuck with the Posche end of the season leftover sale! Pass the Dunkin’ Donuts – the twins and their DDs are out to play.
Season Two of My Five Wives is upon us and in full disclosure, this is my first season of watching this show. The only reference point I have about polygamy is HBO’s fictional Big Love and of course, the national news. So, here we go! A quick recap of Season 1 shows us Brady Williams and his struggles with his five wives (in order from first wife to 5th): Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie and Rhonda.
It’s summer time at the compound (are we aloud to call their homestead that!?). Nonie wants another baby & is emotional over it “taking so long” to conceive. I guess 24 kids are just not cutting it. Brady claims he is fertile, so no worries in that department. Rosemary is glad to have more relaxed time with the kids, while Robyn has dreams of writing a book. Rhonda is nervous about the results of her next mammogram (she had a breast cancer scare last year). Paulie says things are great & is planning her 23rd wedding anniversary with Brady. As the first “empty nester” of the group, she reflects on how much time she has on her hands now. Don’t worry, Paulie! More kids are on the way via a uterus near you.
It has been no secret that Josh Altman and Heather have called off their wedding. For now. But on last night’s episode of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles, seeing him try on his custom inscribed tuxedo, ‘to a beautiful beginning’ on the lapel and ‘I’m sold’ under the collar, gave me the sads. Fortunately, his brother Matt, in his Yolanda Foster approved Hermes belt, will be there to help him get through the tough times. And carry him professionally as well.
The Altman Brothers have a Big Fish to catch. Up for grabs is the majestic Dorothy Chandler estate in the Hancock Park section of Los Angeles. A major deal in Josh Altman’s career. At the same time, he is supposed to be planning his client-focused wedding extravaganza with Heather, who is none too pleased to be meeting with the florist on her own. Josh senses that things are going south with his fiancé when she hangs the phone up on him. And Heather never hangs up on him.
To be honest, the most pressing question that I hoped would be answered on last night’s Dance Moms reunion was if Lifetime just couldn’t afford to film a new intro sans Kelly Hyland and daughters Brooke and Paige…not that I mind seeing them each week, but it’s a bit strange. Right off the bat, Jeff Collins needs some matte powder to go with his newly darkened hair. Is he sweating from the stage lights or the guilt he feels for constantly promoting Abby Lee Miller? Speaking of, Jeff has Abby solo on the couch, and he applauds the Nationals win and questions how Abby feels about Chloe’s fifth place finish being the best solo number in the ALDC. Abby cites fierce competition as the reason…well, that and the fact she didn’t put Maddie in to compete. Wait, I thought Maddie refused when asked (you go, girl!). Abby then talks about Kendall’s disappointing routine in light of how strong she was last year as Jill gestures violently backstage via picture in picture. Abby’s all “I told you so” as the paid audience laughs.
I will never understand the thought processes of the women on Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. What do they see in these men? Do they hear the words coming out of their mouths? Last night’s episode begins as Mally Mall is trying to make-up with Nikki with grand romantic gestures. Over a rose petal strewn lunch, he gifts her with an empty box. It’s a metaphor as to how he felt when the two were apart. Mall then gives Nikki keys to his house because he wants to move in together. Should I add that it’s the house that Masika picked out for him? Mally promises over and over that he never did anything with Masika, but this one time he did let her bleep his bleep. Oh, and he told her he loves her, but “only as a person.” I can’t believe Nikki is even entertaining this! She agrees to move in if she can watch Mall confront Masika and tell her she is delusional for ever thinking the two were an item. This should be good!
Going behind Hazel’s back, Teairra Mari plans to work on her music with Yung Berg. The two have a bit of a tainted past because Berg revealed to the world that Teairra and Ray-J were an item during a radio interview. He’s hoping the two can move past that situation and make some money together. When Berg asks about Teairra’s relationship with Hazel, Teairra admits that they are no longer friends, and business is business. Berg knows that Hazel will be furious, but she’s certainly not the boss of him. The two decide to make music–and money–by working together on some new songs.
Who exactly was Teresa gossiping about it to, again? Dina Manzo? I mean, if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame Rino – he’s the one who told the story to begin with! I guess everyone is afraid to blame Victoria!
Jacqueline Laurita is back and she’s hasn’t changed a bit – still bringing both the maturity and the class! She’s slurping wine through a straw and getting as my husband calls it “loadie” (drunkboots). So loadie she forgets how many kids she has… And we all know what happens when Cacklin’-Jacqueline gets tipsy: drunk lips, sink ships! Or in this case drunk lips, might mean mob hits.
Nothing like the scent of fresh-washed laundry! What’s better than to have your mom do your laundry for you – at the age of 28, no less? This week’s episode of Manzo’d with Children starts with Caroline Manzotending to her cubs’ (aka Albie and Chris) clothes-folding duties and chatting it up with her hubby Al Manzo. Al thinks the boys will be staying with them for 6 months – MAX! The fact that Caroline is even folding their laundry is code for her never wanting them to leave, IMO. Suddenly, a black tank top, ahem, a black female tank top, is found amongst the basketball mesh shorts and boxers. Caroline wants to barf at the sight of it, but is going to wait for the owner to claim it before she raises hell trying to figure out where it came from. Hint: Albie has a girlfriend. But man, wouldn’t it be kinda fun to meet Chris’ girlfriends once in awhile?