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We resume with our favorite Mob Wives: Chicago ladies with Christina Scoleri‘s party going to heck in a hand basket.  After all, NoraNora Schweihs did just accuse Renee Fecarotta Russo‘s dad of raping her.  Pia Rizza is just thrilled that finally the other ladies are seeing the Nora that she sees.

Nora is crying to the point that her make-up is running so she makes a quick exit.  Renee is quoting Forest GumpChristina can’t believe that none of the women are even slightly siding with Nora.  Has she watched any of the episodes?

Pia decides to hash out the party antics with her fifteen-year-old daughter.  Pia wants her daughter to hear their crazy family history before she hears it on the mean streets..or at school.  Bella is very mature, but she sure didn’t need to hear that her mom punched someone in the face.  Just let this poor girl navigate high school sans the drama!  Pia is doing an ugly cry, but her daughter is a stellar and mature fixture.  Should she get her own show?

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Last night was the premiere of Project Runway, Season 10 and since nobody cares about anything but the clothes, Reality Tea is providing you a snap-judgement photocap. C’mon you know that’s how you watch the show, too!

The Challenge: Take a garment that defines you as a designer and make a companion piece for an over-the-top Times Square Project Runway Promotion fashion show and have it judged by wacktastic former Sex And The City stylist, Patricia Fields and guest judge Lauren Graham (aka mute drone with no fashion pedigree).

Also supplying commentary, but no actual critique is Michael Kors (once innovative American sportswear designer – now PR sound-bite drone), Nina Garcia (once important and relevant fashion magazine editor), and Heidi Klum of the crotch short minis and crisp German accent.

So, that was a bust wasn’t it? Ok, let’s trash discuss some looks!

[Photo Credits: LifetimeTV.com]

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE FASHION!

Welcome to the first live show of Big Brother 14. It’s day 13 for the hamsters, and, oh my gosh, has it been crazy in the Big Brother house!

But first… 12 brand new houseguests came into the house to begin the best summer of their lives and a surprise (not really) brought four legends – surely Big Brother meant to say, “3 legends, plus Britney” – into the house to coach the newbies on how to play the game. How in the world did anyone get through the game of Big Brother without Big Brother manipulating the game? Oh, yes, that’s right – just fine! Grrr.

The “3 legends, plus Britney” are Mike Boogie MalinJanelle PierzinaDan Gheesling, and Britney Haynes. Team Britney won the first challenge, and Britney handed the first head of household over to Willie Hantz.

Willie nominated Kara (Team Dan) and Frank (Team Boogie) for eviction. Shane won the power of veto but did not use it.

Immediately following the PoV ceremony, the majority of the hamsters turn stupid.

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The final three contestants of Around the World in 80 Plates arrive in Uruguay and are ready to kick butt for the final challenges.  Chefs Nookie Postal, Avery Pursell and Liz Garrett are competing for the $150,000 grand prize plus a brand new Infinity.

The final 3 arrive via ferry and Nookie assures us that if it comes down to him and Liz Garrett, he’s confident that Avery will choose him.  Avery meanwhile lets us know that since she’s the sole provider for her kids, she’ll do whatever it takes to win this thing.

The team gets off the boat and is met with their first challenge – they have two hours to purchase ingredients (from the three shops listed) and prepare a traditional Uruguayan dish.  The contestant to impress the chef with their dish will earn the exceptional ingredient.   Liz thinks the two hour timeline is insanity.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE REST – INCLUDING THE WINNER!!

Last night’s Teen Mom wasn’t quite as depressing as I thought it would be, so that’s a plus right?  There were other pluses too…a dog got painted, Maci finally realized Bentley needed to socialize with kids his own age, Amber decided to stick it out in rehab, and Butch reveals that he isn’t a big drinker.  Just wait.

Farrah Abraham is a Less Than Happy Hostess

Farrah’s sister Ashley is visiting her in Florida.  Her mom will be arriving in the next few days for a visit.  Farrah reveals that she and Sophia have a more better place to live in Florida than she ever had at her mom’s house.  Yes, yes, Farrah.  It’s way more better.  How’s school?

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It was the birthday party from H-E-double hockey sticks on last night’s Dance MomsAbby Lee Miller doesn’t only have some of her dancers in tears, but some of the moms as well!

The bottom of the pyramid is Paige because of Kelly changing her choreography.  While Abby is proud that she beat her Candy Apple counterpart, perhaps she would have beaten her even better with Abby’s moves.  MacKenzie joins Paige on the bottom, followed by Brooke who is finally off of probation.  The middle rung Nia and MaddieChloe takes the spot for landing her solo in the top ten and winning the overall best costume award.

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As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.

Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.

Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST! 

Sometimes you see things on TV that are straight up embarrassing. Case in point: The ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County on last night’s reunion. I may just go ahead on record and call this the most vitriolic reunion ever. Am I crazy?

Some things should be kept private – or at least off camera – but never underestimate the power of a desperate and delusional blonde!

Tmara Barney and Gretchen Rossi continued their reign as the over-the-hill trainwreck Barbies – and both their weaves had to come from the Barbie Comes To Life Wig Collection, sold exclusively in the Sunday morning coupon section of your local newspaper.

I assumed Heather Dubrow was brought on to inject a dose of class into this mess? Mission failed.

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