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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Buzz Kills it was more of the same: Taylor whining, Kim freaking out, Kyle seeking attention and everyone else trying to act like the reality world isn’t imploding. It was nice to see some fun and fluff with Pandora’s bachelorette party, but that was about the only bright spot in this morose wasteland of the rich, the wannabe rich, and the completely depressing.

Things start out with new Beverly besties Lisa and Taylor meeting for lunch. Lisa just wants to help Taylor. Taylor just wants to ensnare a kind-hearted Lisa in her web of lies and deceit now that Camille is wise to her game. Taylor downplays the disaster at Malibu beach as if she were just a girl who had too many drinks and acted a little cray-cray instead of being one step away from Beverly Mental Hospital. Was anyone else distracted by Taylor’s brows?

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was about new beginnings and leaving the past behind. Kim and Kroy welcomed their son into the world. NeNe went on her first post-separation date. Cynthia revisited NYC and Sheree made the difficult decision to take Bob to court over child support.

Kim is frantically on her way to the OB’s office with all her essentials in tow: make-up, designer luggage, oh and a wig! She discovers she has pre-eclampsia and her doctor decides to induce her at 37 weeks. Good thing she packed her wig!! Kim’s last delivery was like a Mack truck driving through her hooha and she is super nervous. Kroy isn’t stressed out; he’s relaxed and meditative just like before a football game. Sadly, a baby isn’t anything like football!

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I was anxious to see last night’s Survivor, because the Savaii are now completely eliminated from the Te Tuna, with Ozzy and Cochran residing on Redemption Island. It will be interesting to see how BHCP’s admission plays out with his alliance members.

Cochran joins Ozzy who doesn’t say “I told you so” but asks for Cochran’s support when/if he and Coach are the final two. Cochran is insulted that Ozzy already thinks he has to chance to win the duel.

Back at camp tensions are running high after Brandon’s ridiculous honesty rant at the most recent tribal council. What else is new? BHCP wants to bless the day, but Edna walks off in a huff since she’s “not really part of this tribe.” Edna feels duped by a bunch of people who are talking about on both sides of their mouths. She feels foolish, but BHCP is kind enough to pray for her. Edna is venting to Coach about Brandon while he arrives screaming he’s found some Sprint tree-mail.

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They’re baa–ack! Last night marked the return of MTV’s second season of the second cycle of Teen Mom. The stories begin where they left off last season, and not much has changed with the young mothers.

Right off the bat, Jenelle Evans and her mother Barbara are like oil and water. Jenelle is trying to keep the fact that she bailed her boyfriend Kieffer out of jail a secret. She tells her mom she really wants to turn her life around and she has no plans to bail her ex out of the clink. Per the usual, she is met with her mother’s doubt and negativity, but Jenelle is allowed to take her son Jace to the park alone… where she meets up with her convict boyfriend. I don’t know whether I’m more upset that Barbara has never had any faith in her daughter or Jenelle for never giving her a reason to have it in the first place.

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Last night, Millionaire Matchmaker went out with a bang. Dare I say, the first ever Millionaire Matchmaker reunion was actually entertaining especially compared to the lackluster season that many of you readers have agreed is not worth tuning into. But hey, last night’s second part of the reunion was definitely worth a watch especially when we got to see past clients let it rip on the beloved Patti Stanger.

Andy Cohen began asking Patti some boring viewer-submitted questions. The most interesting question was if Patti would date a redhead. With all the gay and Jewish bashing, I totally forgot about Patti’s distaste for the redhead community. Then, Andy reminds me that she also does not like curly hair either. What the heck, Patti! I take the curly hair one very personally. But Patti does what she does best explaining she did not mean it like that — yea, right. She says the millionaires do not like red, curly hair people. I think Bravo needs to set up an Equal Opportunity program for the crew at Millionaire Matchmaker.

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was just – sad, and it’s hard to know what to think. I was expecting a welcome break from the trauma (not to be confused with drama), but my hopes were dashed as the Taylor show came crashing into us harder than Malibu waves. Which reminds me, according to Bruce Jenner’s bespangled and fabulous ex-wife Linda Thompson, the ocean is going to be there long after all of us are gone, so I probably shouldn’t get too worked out about the problems of Housewives.

Anyway things started out on a truly lovely note with Wedding Planner to the Insane Kevin Lee organizing some tablescapes for Lisa and Pandora to choose from – well really Lisa, because after all it’s her wedding!

The ladies were excited, gracious and truly wowed, and after doing some finagling and maneuvering around they put their stamp of approval on the over-the-top fabudiculous arrangements (I made up a new word. Call me Teresa Giudice).

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Last night’s Love & Hip Hop was filled with everything it should have been: a family feud between Jim Jones’ loud lady and rapping mother, Fab’s exes getting slightly friendly and, of course, Kimbella’s hair getting up close and personal with a candle wick. Priceless!

The episode begins with Chrissy Lampkin and Jim Jones discussing her chat with Yandy Smith over the ladies’ recent blow-up. Chrissy tells Jim that she feels like she could be a better manager for Jim than Yandy is. Poor Jim. He can barely get through his interview without looking like a kid off of his ADD meds… the last thing he needs is for his lady and manager to be feuding. He offers to let Chrissy help him design some coats for his collection instead. Chrissy’s on board until they pair gets in a tiff over her cut of the check. Jim laughs, saying that Chrissy is “[messing] up his concentration.” What did I just say about ADD? Those who have it can certainly spot it!

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was all about changes, forgiveness and getting what you deserve. Sheree pulled a Tamra Barney and threw a drink on her ex-husband, Phaedra and Kandi begged forgiveness something desperate from Mama Joyce, who is both livid and embarrassed that reDICKulous appeared last week. Oh yeah, and we met Marlo Hampton. She has a husky voice I wasn’t expecting!

Things start out with everybody’s favorite southern bell doing a stop and drop apology by bringing Kandi an ‘I shouldn’ t have invited a disgusting porny stripper to your birthday party in front of your mama’ cake. Phaedra’s been giving out a lot of “I’m sorry” gifts lately, hasn’t she? According to Kandi her mama is still mad and won’t answer the phone!

The ladies are still confused that NeNe “former stripper” Leakes flew the coop without even saying good-bye. Apparently she couldn’t locate Kandi in the crowd since she took her eyeballs out. Phaedra is especially perplexed given that NeNe used to show her cervix for a quarter back in the day. Um, I’m pretty sure she was a stripper not a gynecological test subject, Phae!

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