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Don’t Be Tardy For the Hot Mess…ohhh oh ohhh!  It’s that time…Kim Zolciak and her wigs man Kroy Biermann are making it official with the premiere of Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding.

The first episode starts with Kim discussing her future with baby K.J., showing him her bling and expressing her worries about making things happen in time for the perfect wedding date:  11.11.11.  Kim is the first to admit that Kroy is a saint for putting up with her.  Super true!  Her rationale for the wedding date falls short of a tarot reader beating her over the head with a giant cornucopia.  Kroy is unsure how he’s going to swing Kim’s dream wedding during football season.  Kim won’t hear it–her first wedding happened on the beach in Destin, lasted ninety days, and (gasp!) there was no reception.

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There are a mere six left on American Idol, with Wednesday night being Queen night.  What’s not to love about that?

The show opens with a Queen cover band performing everyone’s favorite “Somebody to Love.”  After a fabulous rendition, AI sends the remaining crew to TMZ for some “media training.”  Good luck with that!  The first two up are Elise Testone and Jessica Sanchez.  Jessica doesn’t get the best critique from Jimmy (the judges liked her) for her “Bohemian Rhapsody,” but she blew everyone away with her “Dance With My Father” by Luther VanDross.  Randy Jackson couldn’t find a thing wrong with her performance.  Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez loved Elise’s Queen cover, but Randy and Steven think she made a poor song choice with her Jimi Hendrix pick.  She finds herself the first contestant banished to the bottom three.

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On last night’s Survivor the women continued to reign supreme, while Troyzan tried his best to win allies with his mind games.

Tarzan finally realizes that two boys are left compared to six girls so he needs to get on the women’s good side.  Kim hates being portrayed as the women’s leader, but she’s happy that Christina and Alicia didn’t fall for Troyzan’s master plan that could have easily taken down the women.

Tree-mail arrives, and it’s more cryptic than ever.  Of course, Kat figures she’s safe if she can just solidify her lady vote.  At the reward challenge, Jeff Probst poses a series of questions which can be answered with the name of a remaining teammate, and the major obstacle is figuring out how each of their tribe mates will vote.  If a player is wrong in guessing what the other tribe mates thought, a rope attached to a voodoo doll with their likeness will be chopped.  One too many chops and it’s bye-bye voodoo doll!  The winner wins a fantasy picnic on an isle far, far away.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County it was all about Gretchen Christine. She’s got a zillion careers. One of them, is unfortunately singing, which she can’t actually do, and another one is dating Slade Smiley, which is really just an unnecessary side-job she should quit.

Well, Gretchen Christine is quite the fair-weather friend isn’t she? So, she arrives at Alexis Bellino‘s latest rent-a-mcmansion and plops her Gretchen Christine handbag on the counter and starts doing the QVC descriptor hands over the intricately designed leatherette flower, while Lex oooohhhs and aaaahhhs. This is taking the Bravo Home Shopping Network a touch too far. Quick question: Anybody out there sporting one of those jalopies? Yeah, didn’t think so!

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On last night’s 16 and Pregnant we meet Jordan Howard, a teen from Millersville, Pennsylvania who is in a biracial relationship with Tyler.  She discusses her situation with her mother Kelly who isn’t keen on her daughter’s boyfriend.  She won’t even let him in her home.  Kelly is alright with Jordan staying at Tyler’s house now, but that will change after the baby.  The baby WILL stay at Jordan’s house and Tyler will NOT be included.  Thankfully, his parents are more supportive.  Jordan wants to stay with his parents after the couple’s son is born, but they all know they will face strong opposition from her mother.

Tyler has spent a lot of his savings on baby supplies and furniture.  Jordan wants to contribute, so the pair go shopping for baby clothes.  It’s worth noting that Tyler is wearing a shirt that says “I’m the guy your parents warned you about.”  Tyler and Jordan reveal that her mother is so wary of Tyler because he’s white.  She admits she even had some strange reactions from her friends when they first got together.  Jordan discusses with her friends her fear about telling her mom about her plans to move in with Tyler’s family.

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We have made it to the finish line of yet another Bad Girls Club! Well, except for next week’s reunion, which looks like an edition of Bad Girls Club: Drag Race.

This week, new girl Camilla appears to be having some sort of psychological break with reality. She continues to storm up and down the house, vandalize the giant slot machine with the girl’s pictures on it, and act like the other ladies in the house care. Spoiler alert: they don’t. In the few days Camilla was in the house, she managed to have a girlfriend over, and about seven members of her family, and the rest of the bad girls didn’t even react.

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On last night’s Bethenny Ever After, Mexico says bienvenido to Bethenny Frankel and Co.!  Watch out Cabo San Lucas, Hurricane Bethenny is rolling into town to celebrate her birthday.  The group is greeted with coconut popsicles, and I have never seen someone so obsessed with how her child holds a flipping frozen treat…seriously, just let the kid eat the popsicle!  She and Jason Hoppy are led to their villa, and it’s a true paradise.  Jason is hoping that the couple can leave their bickering and pettiness back in the States.

At dinner, Bethenny congratulates Jason on making it through a day without ripping each others’ heads off.  She accuses him of not trusting her and not liking her, regardless of how much he loves her.  They are both saying the same thing, but yet when Jason says it, Bethenny seems very guarded.  Bless him.  Let it drop, lady!  Or don’t let it drop…that may be a better conversation than what Bethenny broaches next.  She wants to ask Veronica to be Bryn’s guardian in the event she and Jason die.  Bethenny explains to Jason that his parents are getting up there in in age, so clearly Veronica is the perfect choice.  Her near-death experience in Nantucket only solidifies this fact.

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We resume with Basketball Wives where we seem to every week…with a fight involving Evelyn Lozada.  Shoeless (we all know what that means, don’t we Kenya Bell?), she steps across the table to get to Jenn Williams who has just been smacked by her friend Nia.  Evelyn takes a flying leap off the table into the arms of a waiting production team bouncer.  I would ask when will these ladies ever learn, but I’m pretty sure the answer is “Never.”  But I will ask, when will these venues stop letting these kooks film their show at their places?

Evelyn wants Jennifer dead for thinking she’s better than Nia.  How dare Jenn call Nia a “bum b*tch?” Evelyn wreaks havoc on a plant while Jenn watches.  Nia calls out Jenn for having celebrity friends.  Tami Roman can’t even regain control of the situation.  She’s confused.  Jenn decides it’s time to leave, and Evelyn beaks down in tears because you don’t judge a b*tch.  You nevah evah judge a b*tch, ya hear?  Gracious.  Kesha Nichols leaves with Jenn, and she asks if the attack was expected.  Kesha should know by now that outbursts are par for the course with these “ladies.”

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