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After that pesky little football game sidelined the Mob Wives last week, the ladies were back last night with extra drama to make up for their absence.

The episode opens with Renee Graziano speaking with ex-husband Junior Pagan about how she feels an impending sense of doom.  However, she believes it is because of her loony friends having such heated arguments with each other.  She wasn’t too keen on hearing that Ramona has been talking smack about her all over town.  Renee is also stressed about Junior’s upcoming indictment.  The lady has a lot on her plate.

Drita D’avanzo discusses the state of her relationship with Lee with her daughter.  She brings up the “D” word, and while I am glad she’s talking about this to her daughter, it is irking me that she’s doing it on camera.  Her daughter tells her that Lee has promised to take all of the family on a vacation and she’d like to go to Hawaii.  Drita gets choked up by this revelation.

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Last night’s time with the gang from Jersey Shore was just how I like it:  Light-hearted, drunken tomfoolery without excessive urine, blurring of Britneys, or vomit, and a stage-five clinger thrown in for good measure. Speaking of measurement, Mike logged in some quality phone time with the Unit.

Mike is disappointed when he calls the Decibel and finds out he’s in Miami. This means he’s not able to come to the Shore to tell Jionni about Snooki’s situation with the Situation. Mike is thrilled to learn, however, that his brother is hooking up with Deena’s sister. There were so many bleeps in that portion of the conversation I felt like Mike was a smoke detector. Mike is being an evil genius right now… minus the genius part.

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WOO HOO! A new season of Real Housewives of Orange County and these biatches better bring it to redeem the great dramaful state of California following the Beverly Buzz Kills debacle. Tamra you do call the shots – to the bartender! Line ‘em up!

Things begin with Gretchen in her totes normal house with a totes normal bathroom, despite the rose petals on the floor. And that’s one thing I’ve always loved about Gretch. Her cutie little beach house that never turns into a McMansion she can’t afford. Gretch is curling her Kim Zolciak Weave Collection wig while wearing over-the-knee boots with a white denim jacket when Slave walks in. He wants to know what she’s late for? Just lunch. Gretchen is elusive and Slave isn’t allowed to come with. He must stay home and pick up dog poop or something.

After using the word “Babe” about 300 times in five minutes, Gretchen confesses she is actually having lunch with her arch nemesis, Tamra! Cue the suspenseful music! The two evil queens of Orange County will meet with each other in a blonde vs. blonde face-off, to once and for all, bury the hatchet!

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Last night’s Teen Mom 2 was thirty minutes longer than it needed to be. Why MTV, do you need to draw out this drama past its allotted hour? If the show had just been in its normal time slot, I wouldn’t have seen Leah file for divorce or Kailyn cheat on Jordan with Jo. Of course, I also wouldn’t have seen Chelsea work towards her GED (you go, girl!), or Jenelle check herself into rehab for her addiction issues. Oh MTV, you’re both a b*tch and a lover…

Jenelle is on probation, but she’ll be scott-free if she can stay clean for one year. She’s not allowed to fraternize with anyone who has pending drug charges, and that includes Kieffer. She’s back in Barbara’s house, and it’s back to status quo with the pair cussing and screaming at each other in front of poor Jace. This child deserves so much more than these MTV cameras are providing. Jenelle feels like her world is coming to an end because she can’t smoke and she can only communicate with Kieffer via phone. She talks to him about breaking up since they won’t be able to see each other in person for at least twelve months. He’s on board. That should tell the out-of-touch-with-reality Jenelle a lot.

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I. Love. Brandi Glanville. If Brandi doesn’t return next season, can Bravo please hire her to conduct these reunions, because girl is not afraid to bring it. Last night’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion was explosive, dishy, and far superior to any reunion I’ve ever seen. I’m giving credit where credit is due, so thank you, Brandi, and thank you also, Camille!

Things start out with Andy recapping Brandi‘s intro into the exclusive social club known as high school students masquerading as adult women. Forty going on fourteen! Brandi dispels rumors that she’s a slut, but wishes she was because sex is fun. Camille confirms Brandi is just joking about her sexual proclivities. The KyTayAdrienne sofa is practically hyperventilating over talk of Brandi’s swimsuits and outlandish jokes. They are, like, the most square sofa in reunion history!

Kyle admits that her behavior towards Brandi was ridiculous and insecure, stating she was afraid of Brandi’s entry into the group because Brandi is hot. Andy demonstrates just how ridiculous and immature Kyle was by bringing up the infamous Game Night. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never looked at Taboo! the same way since!

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On last night’s Love & Hip Hop, it was the Producer’s Tell All! I have to say I didn’t hate the format as much as I thought I would. With the ladies not yelling over one another, it was easier to get more questions answered… and they seemed to ask the questions viewers would want to know, aka no John Salley softballs!

The show’s executive producer Mona Scott-Young reveals that because one several cast members now refuse to be in the same room together, coughs Chrissy, the show has to forgo the traditional reunion format. Instead, viewers are treated to a behind the scenes look at the inner-workings of the show as well as one-on-one interviews with the cast.

First up, Jim Jones! The man, the myth, the dude at the center of a lot of the ladies’ drama. This season’s new cast mate, Yandy Smith was the rapper’s manager for the past eight years, and she was supposedly brought on at the request of his girlfriend Chrissy Lampkin. However, quickly, the ladies began feuding, with Jim caught in the middle. It resulted in a total breakdown of Jim and Yandy’s professional relationship which we watched play out over the course of the season.

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It’s back to the beach with the peeps of Jersey Shore. Last night, Vinny settles back into shore life, Snooki loses bladder control, and Mike is eerily nice.

Vinny has come back to the Mothership, which is awesome because it means no new roommates for the gang. Everyone heads out, but Rawn for one is leery that Mike is being nice. Like really nice. Scary nice. It is very strange. JWoww is upset that Roger has been MIA, while the Situation reveals that he wants to get a tattoo that says “Loyalty and Betrayal” since he knows so much about those two things. Ronnie thinks “Betrayal and Betrayal” would be more appropriate given Mike’s pension for stirring up dramz among the roommates while being anything but “loyal.”

No matter, let’s just go to Karma! Pauly D is thrilled to have his wing man Vinny back at the Shore. Snooki is thrilled to have all of her guido family back together. So thrilled, in fact, that she totally soils herself on the dance floor. I know when I have to pee…do you, dear readers? Luckily Snooki takes a Shore shower, which means she maybe washed her hands when she went to the bathroom. Who are these people?

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Previously: Chris gets eliminated for the crime of not making his tofu-emulsion chicken salad sandwiches to order.

We return to the Top Chef house with Grayson missing Chris, and the reveal that Ed sleeps in a button down shirt and boxers. Business up top, party underneath! There’s no time to ponder this because it’s time to head back to the kitchen, where Padma awaits them with my dream: a table of 80,000 pancakes. The chefs wonder who the guest judge will be, with Grayson guessing Miley Cyrus, which is incorrect because if it were Miley, the pancakes would be replaced with a giant bong.

Instead, the guest judge is Pee Wee Herman, who non-zygotes may remember from his TV show, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. They have 20 minutes to make pancakes for Pee Wee. Paul has inherited the liquid nitrogen throne from Chris and is making some kind of champagne concoction with it.

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