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On last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis and Peggy quit each other and Peggy quit the show! We learned more about Heather and well, she’s very confident (and wealthy), isn’t she? Vicki and Tamra haul their boyfriends to Catalina where they proceed to embarrass themselves on national TV with a PDA orgy. Aaaahhh… The C in OC, certainly doesn’t stand for class, does it?

Things begin at Vicki‘s Cajun-themed dinner party where Peggy and Alexis face off over who is the boobiest, dumbest, and has the worst broken bone story! They tepidly make nice as they try to size each other up while peering over their enormous fake racks.

Apparently Peggy wanted to tell Alexis about her very vintage Jim experience, but Jim made her swear not to. When it was unearthed, Jim accused Peggy of stalking him and breaking into his house. Alexis being Alexis, decided it was exclusively Peggy’s fault that her husband didn’t deign to tell her about their fifteen year old relationship. Why wouldn’t Jim tell her from the get go and then they could laugh about it amongst friends? I sincerely doubt either Jim or Peggy wants to rekindle things.

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Last night was the 90 minute finale of Teen Mom 2. Doesn’t MTV realize that some of us have to go to bed at a decent hour? It’s not a feature length movie (yet), it’s a weekly television program. Sheesh.

The show begins as Jenelle heads out west and she moves to Beverly, Hills that is enters a rehab program. She’s met at the airport by a counselor (?) and shares her fears and anxieties with him as she texts on the way to her Malibu center. The staff searches her bags, and she is quick to admit there may be a “blunt wrapper” or two among her belongings. A quick urine test reveals that she has marijuana in her system. No biggie. She meets with her therapist who lectures her on any drug talk. Jenelle tells her that she wants to repair the relationship with her mother, and her only problem with weed is that she’s not allowed to smoke it. Fair enough. Dr. Drew? Are you watching?

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Last night’s third segment of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion began with Taylor, threw in some PamDana, and ended with Kyle and Kim rebuilding their relationship. It was nice to see some real positivity on the show after a season of nonsense and unpredictability. I, for one, hope Kim is able to move forward with peace and positivity.

Things began with Taylor opening up about her gut feeling that foul play may have been involved in Russell‘s death. Perhaps it was. Who knows what to believe at this point. I do know that Camille‘s face when Taylor was talking about this was priceless and amazing and I need a meme of that immediately.

Taylor regales the audience with tales of Russell surveying her in their home, claiming she found a tape recorder under the desk of her office when she was checking the printer. Is she sure the FBI didn’t install those to catch some griftin’ in action? Taylor also describes how Russell made her take a polygraph test to prove she was faithful to him. When she passed, he accused her of knowing how to cheat a polygraph. That, I believe is a very good possibility! Finally, a story of her’s I wholeheartedly believe!

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Last night on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, it was a totally Kim-free episode as the other ladies toured the bush of South Africa. They laughed, they danced, they sang, they did charity work – I know, shockingly that all actually happened! They also made snide comments and embarrassed themselves, but hey it’s better than a screaming match!

Things began at the tale end of the epic showdown between two ladies desperate to prove each one is the lesser gold digging, wannabe living off a sugar daddy’s dime. It is much to everyone’s surprise, including Kandi‘s that NeNe intervenes and basically pries these two crazy ladies apart. As NeNe herds Marlo up the stairs, still clutching her omnipresent mimosa, she scolds Sheree on remaining calm and letting it go.

Afterwards everyone shakes it off and proceeds on to their respective dinner engagements. Well, almost everyone NeNe and Cynthia looked like they both wanted to catch the first bus out of there! Sheree arrives at her friend Kevin’s dinner party where he is excited to see the ladies and has planned a lot of exceptional entertainment for the evening. I can see why it would be impractical for Sheree to invite three more people last minute but she should have approached it a different way. Seriously, couldn’t a Bravo producer make copies of Marlo‘s etiquette book and pass it around to the entire traveling group? At Kevin’s the ladies are treated to some amazing fire dancing, flirting with danger indeed. That is pretty much the theme of this entire trip!

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After that pesky little football game sidelined the Mob Wives last week, the ladies were back last night with extra drama to make up for their absence.

The episode opens with Renee Graziano speaking with ex-husband Junior Pagan about how she feels an impending sense of doom.  However, she believes it is because of her loony friends having such heated arguments with each other.  She wasn’t too keen on hearing that Ramona has been talking smack about her all over town.  Renee is also stressed about Junior’s upcoming indictment.  The lady has a lot on her plate.

Drita D’avanzo discusses the state of her relationship with Lee with her daughter.  She brings up the “D” word, and while I am glad she’s talking about this to her daughter, it is irking me that she’s doing it on camera.  Her daughter tells her that Lee has promised to take all of the family on a vacation and she’d like to go to Hawaii.  Drita gets choked up by this revelation.

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Last night’s time with the gang from Jersey Shore was just how I like it:  Light-hearted, drunken tomfoolery without excessive urine, blurring of Britneys, or vomit, and a stage-five clinger thrown in for good measure. Speaking of measurement, Mike logged in some quality phone time with the Unit.

Mike is disappointed when he calls the Decibel and finds out he’s in Miami. This means he’s not able to come to the Shore to tell Jionni about Snooki’s situation with the Situation. Mike is thrilled to learn, however, that his brother is hooking up with Deena’s sister. There were so many bleeps in that portion of the conversation I felt like Mike was a smoke detector. Mike is being an evil genius right now… minus the genius part.

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WOO HOO! A new season of Real Housewives of Orange County and these biatches better bring it to redeem the great dramaful state of California following the Beverly Buzz Kills debacle. Tamra you do call the shots – to the bartender! Line ‘em up!

Things begin with Gretchen in her totes normal house with a totes normal bathroom, despite the rose petals on the floor. And that’s one thing I’ve always loved about Gretch. Her cutie little beach house that never turns into a McMansion she can’t afford. Gretch is curling her Kim Zolciak Weave Collection wig while wearing over-the-knee boots with a white denim jacket when Slave walks in. He wants to know what she’s late for? Just lunch. Gretchen is elusive and Slave isn’t allowed to come with. He must stay home and pick up dog poop or something.

After using the word “Babe” about 300 times in five minutes, Gretchen confesses she is actually having lunch with her arch nemesis, Tamra! Cue the suspenseful music! The two evil queens of Orange County will meet with each other in a blonde vs. blonde face-off, to once and for all, bury the hatchet!

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Last night’s Teen Mom 2 was thirty minutes longer than it needed to be. Why MTV, do you need to draw out this drama past its allotted hour? If the show had just been in its normal time slot, I wouldn’t have seen Leah file for divorce or Kailyn cheat on Jordan with Jo. Of course, I also wouldn’t have seen Chelsea work towards her GED (you go, girl!), or Jenelle check herself into rehab for her addiction issues. Oh MTV, you’re both a b*tch and a lover…

Jenelle is on probation, but she’ll be scott-free if she can stay clean for one year. She’s not allowed to fraternize with anyone who has pending drug charges, and that includes Kieffer. She’s back in Barbara’s house, and it’s back to status quo with the pair cussing and screaming at each other in front of poor Jace. This child deserves so much more than these MTV cameras are providing. Jenelle feels like her world is coming to an end because she can’t smoke and she can only communicate with Kieffer via phone. She talks to him about breaking up since they won’t be able to see each other in person for at least twelve months. He’s on board. That should tell the out-of-touch-with-reality Jenelle a lot.

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