It's court day for Jenelle and Gary Head (or, as we like to call it, Tuesday), but she has high hopes for the day. Gary admitted to getting physical with Jenelle, so her lawyer, Dustin Sullivan, will charge Gary with assault and request for Jenelle's charges to be dropped. Kieffer Delp nonchalantly asks Jenelle if there's any chance she'll go to jail. It's all good, Jenelle says, because she totally stopped getting high two weeks ago. Kieffer is nervous. Not because he cares about Jenelle, mind you, but because he needs a place to make his pot pipes.
One hour later, Dustin congratulates Jenelle on another good day in court, revealing that all charges against her have been dropped. Seriously?! Jenelle has more lives than the entire cast of CATS. One thing is for sure, if I ever get in trouble with the law, I'm calling Dustin the Judge Whisperer.
I'm just going to put this out there – and y'all can slam me in the comments, freak out and call me biased, blow up my inbox with complaints, whatever – but taking a cue from the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County, I'm about to be a megabitch and I don't care. So here it is: I cannot stand Gretchen Rossi. Not for one. more. minute. It feels so good to get that off my chest!
I've often felt that all the Real Housewives, no matter how obnoxious and annoying have some redeeming benefits. For instance, I find Tamra Barney largely repulsive, but she's often funny and when she sets aside her jealousies, she can be a lot of fun.
Vicki Gunvalson is self-absorbed, neurotic, and annoying but she has a good heart underneath it all – we all know this – and she's never afraid to put her crazy out there to be judged and dissected, which I can respect. Alexis Bellino is dumb as a box of Dyeables shoes and equally as tacky, but she's also a nice woman who genuinely seems to care about her friends and family, plus she's always doing something goofball enough to laugh at.
VH1's most drama-filled series of wacky ridiculousness is back, and this season we've got some new players. Lord help us all! Last night was the much anticipated premiere of the second season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and it did not disappoint. Stevie J is just as creepy as usual, Benzino's head is still far too big for his body, and the ladies are all still making pretty horrible life choices. Well, all the ladies except for Joseline Hernandez…she's too busy keeping it real—real crazy!
The episode starts with a full on shower scene starring Mimi Faust. As she primps for the day, she admits to cleaning house, and I assume she means both literally and figuratively. Of course, Mimi walks out of the bathroom and Stevie J and their daughter in bed together. Mimi explains that it's not what viewers think. She crashed at Stevie's the night before and Joseline (who lives there) stormed in and disrespected little Eva. As the former couple cuddles in bed, they discuss the previous night's events, Mimi tells Stevie that she doesn't want Joseline around her daughter. It's settled. Mimi will start staying at Stevie's house to serve as Joseline repellent. She's not ready to commit to him just yet…she'll just live with him in the meantime. Way to be strong, Mimi!
Erica Dixon and Lil' Scrappy are living together and planning their wedding, but Erica wants him to cut down on his swag. According to him, his swag is at the tenth level, while Erica believes his labels need to be on a budget. Scrappy spends $2000 a month on clothing, but he's willing to compromise on a wardrobe budget of $1200…sometimes. Am I wrong, or was he behind on child support last season? Is a Gucci label more important than providing for his child?
Well, this is the end of Big Rich Atlanta, though we don't yet know if it's forever or just for now.
While I will continue to keep up my favorites, Meyer Eadon, Harvin Eadon, Meagan McBrayer, and Kahdijiha Rowe, on Twitter, I am not sad to see the show gone from my Sunday night calendar. You see, when Big Rich Texas ended for the season, I felt a void in my life. (Hush up! I'm well aware of how pathetic that sounds.) However, now that Big Rich Atlanta has come to an end, I'm just happy I no longer have to a-void you know who.
If the Style Network grants Big Rich Atlanta a second season, I can only hope that they tweak the cast a bit.
Last week, Harvin and Meyer met fashion designer Ashley Paige, who invited the sisters to display their jewelry at her upcoming fashion show. That's the good news. The bad news: Ashley needs 33 different looks from She Blames Me, and that's way more than Harvin and Meyer currently have. Harvin takes the news in stride; Meyer panics. Can they pull it off?
The next morning, Mariah wakes up Aydin and ushers him outside for a picnic. First, Mariah apologizes for her behavior the night before, and a confused Aydin asks his wife why she did what she did. Mariah is like, of course that's not the person I strive to be, but Toya ran her mouth!
Mariah informs Aydin that co-host Kari Wells sent her a PayPal invoice, requesting money for damages, and Aydin cannot believe what he's hearing. A shocked Aydin asks "what damages" and Mariah complains about how they paid for "the whole damn party" only to be kicked out. Finally, Mariah apologizes for embarrassing Aydin, adding, "But I'm also sorry that I didn't really beat Toya's ass like I wanted to."
To Kari and Toya, Mariah warns, "The same way I brought you in, I will block you out."
Last night was the conclusion of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. And it was a whirlin', twirlin', spinning time. There were more lies, half-truths, and defense mechanisms swirling around that stage than in the eye of a tornado. And I'm dizzy.
A certain someone in a yellow dress needs to sit down and get her twirl out of Andy Cohen's face. Lord knows that may have been the closest he's ever been to a lady's anatomy.
Things begin with recapping Kim Zolciak's exit from the stage (and the show!). She texted NeNe Leakes a bevy of glowing compliments. In exchange NeNe wishes her well and calls her out on the wig pieces she was trying to pass off as her "real hair". Wig shade never ceases to amuse me. I call Kim's clip-in beehive "Marge".
Last night's reunion host was none other than Dr. Drew, who admits to being a huge fan of the show. Sure he is, just like he DVRs Teen Mom 2… I wonder if the ladies scared off Joy Behar or if she just had a prior commitment. I'm actually shocked they didn't get John Salley to be a part of this VH1 debacle! Drew smugly talks about the drama from the season and explains that there is some Love (Majewski, that is) lost–because she won't be appearing on the reunion after getting booted from the show. We're treated to a highlight reel of Love's looniest confessions and outbursts. The woman sure loves to stab people!
This week onThe Rachel Zoe Project, Rachel traveled to New York for the opening of DreamDry, William popped over from England like a fashion fairy godmother delivering couture that rendered Rachel temporarily speechless, she gave husband, Rodger Berman, a makeover (but not his hair) and Skyler attempted to hit his mother with a shovel for trying to catch a bit of sleep.
Things begin with Rachel and makeup master Joey bickering about when Rachel will pop out a sibling for Skyler. Rachel trolls off a bunch of excuses and Joey chalks her many excuses up to bullshit. Rachel whines that even showering has taken a back seat in her life since becoming a mom. Sounds like someone’s traded boho chic for hobo chic.. Showering Shmowering, Joey is sick of Rachel’s never ending excuses. Rachel says that she arrived a little late to the party with the whole having accessories kids thing which has kind of gotten in the way. Joey makes the biggest mistake and says forty is the new twenty anyway, and with that Mommy Hobo becomes Valley girl in 2.8 seconds demanding to know who the heck in the room is 40?!? Cos she certainly isn’t the ‘f’ word yet.. ‘like Duh!’… and of course it wouldn’t be a proper Valley girl rant without Rachel sounding off by calling Joey a bitch for speaking such utter nonsense. Poor Joey, at least he now knows the word forty is like Harry Potter’s ‘Voldermort’ in the Kingdom of Zoe.. #Hewhoshouldnotbenamed