Oh y'all. Last night's Sister Wives was the vacation from hell! Can you imagine trekking halfway across the United States with Kody Brown at the helm of your RV? Would you rather ride shotgun if Meri or Robyn were driving? Even Janelle and Christine seemed to be a bit weary about the two RVs and a twelve passenger van. All of this chaos to meet some Christian polygamists. The teenagers are upset about missing spring break with their friends, and Kody is going from house to house trying to pack his stuff. Before heading out of town, Kody's hair leads a business meeting for My Sister Wives' Closet. Robyn is irritated that the investors have yet to fund their business. It's been eight weeks since they were promised the money. What's the hold up? How are they going to pay to rent the RVs? Everyone seems to be dreading this vacation. Even Kody admits to feeling anxious.
Somehow, Kody has convinced his niece Cindy to join the crew–and drive! Is she being punished for something? Meri will also be behind the wheel. Kody is believes his teenagers are going to make or break the trip. The responsible college aged kids are off the hook and won't be traveling with the family. Kody is worried. Without Mariah, Aspyn, Mykelti, and Logan, who will actually watch the younger kids? Christine joins him in his concern. Is she going to have to watch her younger kids now? The family is only an hour behind schedule as Kody barks orders at children who aren't listening to a word he says. I'm getting stressed out by this trip already and they haven't even left the cul-de-sac compound yet!
Sam DeBianchi is struggling to unload Gil Dezer's penthouse because every single agent in all of Miami (and in some cases the world) is shouting like a Greek Chorus that it's overpriced. Sam finally seeks advice from Chris Leavitt about what to do. Chris takes Sam to "kangoo", ala running around in moon shoes. It reminded me of something I'd see on Spaceballs. Unfortunately Sam's bouncing boobs were even distracting the gay guy. (Seriously who doesn't wear a sports bra to work out?!)!
Chris advises Sam to confront Gil and her co-lister Rachel about the need for a price reduction and if it doesn't work out, withdraw from the listing. Sam explains that Gil is basically delusional – comparing his out-dated penthouse to what's being built now in terms of value. This is so weird to me – this Gil is supposed to be a famous real estate developer but he's so clueless about pricing his own property and how the market works?
This episode kicks off with the girls hanging out by the pool and having some drinks. I love how they each have their own unique styles. They look really cute! Elena busts out with a question about her bust. She asks Briana if she should get implants before or after she has children. Briana got hers after she had her daughter and states she has no feeling in them. Elena gives them a quick test run. Terra is bored with the boob talk, and changes the subject to what else, but herself. She has plans to be a breakout music artist and has invested a lot of money into an upcoming music video she’s going to make. She wants all the girls to be in it. Of course Christy isn’t interested because of their previous beef and Elena is on the fence, as she’s worried the video might be tacky. To be fair, the song is all about booty dancing.. there’s a slight chance for tackiness!
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of New York continued to glamp in the muck of Montana. The country air doesn't seem to be doing much to restore their constitutions, but it does seem to be causing them a great, aggrieved case of boredom. I have no idea how long they were stranded out there – alone, in luxury cabins, without butlers and forced to clear their own breakfast dishes – but one thing is for sure: Kristen Taekman is a horrible hostess!
It seems that Kristen can't do anything right. She can't make the air conditioner cool enough to quell Ramona Singer's hot flashes. She can't find someone to fillSonja Morgan's bed – and Sonja has resorted to wearing underwear. She can't get Heather Thomson to take her seriously or care what she thinks. And worst of the worst of the worst of all – she can't get anyone to Geocache!
Oh Vicki Gunvalson – after eight or so seasons of Vicki annoying the piss out of us (see what I did there – cause Vicki peed her pants), she's getting counseling and emerged a wiser, more self-confident, and self-aware woman. And she's spreading her messages to the masses.
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we entered an alternate universe of housewifery where Vicki was preaching about learning from mistakes, taking ownership, and in general being a happier person less concerned with what others think. Either Brooks' falsie-affirmations are working (the power of believing, yo!) or counseling is, but whatever – we'll take it. And I'll also take a Vicki G spinoff called The Love Tank Whisperer.
Vicki took her love tank restructuring seminar to Puerto Vallarta and invited Shannon Beador and her imploding marriage along. It takes a brave woman to take a disaster on vacation and still focus on the fun! Shannon and David are in a tailspin of dysfunction with Shannon digging in and clinging tightly to an evaporating David who is floating farther and farther out in the metaphorical sea.
Last night on Ladies of London the women took a trip to Mapperton. We had shooting, Sandwiches, questionable table manners, and several awkward moments. But, in the end they hugged it out.
We begin with an intense yoga session with Marissa Hermer and Julie. It looks painful and there’s talk about looseness, which I’m trying to forget. Julie isn’t just a yoga instructor, she also our seventh Lady. And she’s an actual Lady…of Hinchingbrooke. She tells us that her life is like a fairy tale. She came to the UK from the Midwest and met her knight, the soon-to-be Earl of Sandwich. Every little girl’s dream. She actually seems pretty down to earth for someone with a title.
Marissa and Julie discuss the upcoming trip to Julie’s in-law’s estate, Mapperton. Annabelle Neilson will of course be attending since she’s a longtime friend of the family. She’s always out there shooting. AndJuliet Angus better watch out because she’s a good shot. Speaking of little Daisy Duke, Julie is worried about her attending. We get a flashback to the “keep being ruder” moment. So nasty and so ruder. Marissa and Julie agree that Juliet and Annabelle should be kept far apart. As if that will happen.
I am really in total shock after last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta! Benzino was shot? On the way to his mother's funeral? I was certainly not expecting that to happen. Oh wait. Of course, I knew that the horrible incident occurred, but I was admittedly surprised that it was covered on the show–as if Mona knew it was going to happen all along. I wonder how much all the re-shoots and additional scenes cost the network in production. Anyone care to make a wager? I did notice that Benzino's injured arm must be recovering well because in the slow motion scene where he's running to his car because he's carrying his luggage with it. That part had to have been filmed after the fact, right?
Karlie Redd and Erica Dixon are catching up over manicures, and Erica reveals that she kicked O'Shea to the curb…literally. He just had to stand on the curb and whine since his car was out of gas. She was tired of being his piggy bank. The women gossip about all of Althea's conquests. Erica dishes that Ho-thea had a night with Stevie J., and Karlie is laughing because she was also with Mimi Faust's Nikko. There seems to be a lot of cross pollinating going on with this crew. Karlie can't wait to share the news withJoseline Hernandez. That's what friends are for! I think all of these ladies need to broaden their romantic horizons. Certainly Stevie, 'Zino, and Nikko aren't the only players in Atlanta!
Last night's Sister Wives focused on the teens. Kody Brown has a lot to say about his kids being in relationships, but I think all of the Brown children have good heads on their shoulders. Added bonus? We didn't have to see as much of Robynwhining or Meri complaining about her wet bar. Score!
Janelle is meeting with trainer Sean, and she's struggling with her plateau. She's ready to start losing again even though Kody has never said a word about her weight. Sean is disappointed that Janelle hasn't continued with her thirty day healthy eating challenge, and she acknowledges that she's an emotional eater and a procrastinator.
Where has the time gone? Logan is a sophomore at UNLV, and he's living with a couple who is dating. Off campus housing and a girl roommate? Props to you, Logan! Kody and his wives are very proud of Logan and they note that he doesn't come home very often. Logan is a good kid, and he admits that he's dating and socializing and hugging and kissing girls outside of marriage. Janelle trusts Logan's judgment, but Kody wishes he could impose a "no touching" rule until marriage on all of his kids.