Recaps

Little Women: LA recap

It’s time for more baby showers that no one wants to attend and friendships that no one wants to mend on this week’s Little Women: LA!

Last night we learned that Jasmine Sorge is a glutton for punishment as she throws Briana Renee another awkwardly attended shower, despite Briana’s horrid treatment of her. Did Jasmine learn nothing from that el depresso bridal shower last season? This will not be a gathering of happy campers. (Literally, the RSVP boxes on these shower invites should read: “Yes,” “Regretfully, no” and “What the f*ck dude!?”)

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Shahs of Sunset Reunion Part 1 Recap

It’s that time again, where the Shahs of Sunset gather around a large spread of food and rip each other to shreds. If I were to sum up part one of this reunion, in a few words, it would be: evil eyes, extramarital affairs, and hair extensions. So. Many. Extensions. Asa Soltan Rahmati isn’t wearing them but she made up for her lack of fake hair in about sixty pounds of tacky jewelry.

Some of the covered topics on tonight’s reunion include: Reza Farahan’s ambush wedding to Adam Neely, the breakup of Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido, and the hot new romance between Mercedes “MJ” Javid and everyone’s favorite neighborhood lug, Tommy Feight. We are also subjected to treated to an appearance by Vida, who just could not miss an opportunity to criticize these easy targets.

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Famously Single Season Finale recap

Well, we have made it to the season finale of Famously Single and this might have been the longest/shortest season of a reality show in recent memory. What I mean is that we have only sat through eight episodes, but this seems like more than enough. I guess these “celebrities” can’t stay in a loft banging each other forever though; they all have to get back to errr… uhhhh… what do they all do again?

One person that I do know is gainfully employed again (at least for an episode or two) is resident snooze-fest Josh Murray, who appeared in a promo for an upcoming episode of Bachelor in Paradise. Will Josh bring anything to the table there? Doubtful but hey, a guy’s gotta get paid, right? As for the rest of the cast, I guess they will just fade back into the complete obscurity from which they came. Oh, and Dr. Darcy Sterling has to go back to Vanderpump Rules to fulfill her obligations as Katie Maloney’s stunt double.

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Yeah, I don’t care how much Kelly Dodd annoys the bejesus out of me (and probably Tamra Judge‘s sculpted patootie), Shannon Beador set her up at her 70’s partaaay. Which was not necessarily OK. And it was, well, ugly. Honestly, I think most of us, the Real Housewives Of Orange County ladies included, are gonna pretend Shannon is innocent on the principal of their dislike for Kelly, but the double-teaming of Jaci and Nina, three boobs, and a bull dozer, are all too coincidental.

And you know what they say: If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck – it’s probably a Real Housewife training for a fitness competition and practicing in her lucite stripper heels! 

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Melissa Gorga opens Envy

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of New Jersey featured the opening of Melissa Gorga‘s long-awaited Posche revenge, Envy. A boutique dedicated to the many-splendored stylings of Melissa’s own taste. Teresa Giudice also proved that her and Juicy’s love is as real as the prison cell that holds them!

Poison Gorga seems to be confused both about which century he’s living in and that his life is not a 1980’s movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. You guys, men with sprayed on muscles DO NOT take care of their own children – they are not babysitters! 

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Shahs of Sunset Season Finale recap

This season of Shahs of Sunset has run the gamut of ridiculous story lines, some of which we have seen play out at an excruciating slow pace. The dissolution of Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido’s marriage would be the first one that comes to mind. The breakdown of the friendship (again) between Reza Farahan and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi would be another. 

Meandering and predictable story lines aside (ahem, another business venture from the High Priestess of ADD, Asa Soltan Rahmati), we did see one relationship on the fast track: Mercedes “MJ” Javid and lovable lug Tommy Feight.

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Flipping Out recap

With the good baby news behind them, the crew of Flipping Out needs to get back to work. That chrome and marble nursery ain’t gonna build itself! But Jeff Lewis faces a crossroads this week when he runs into trouble with a long time contractor. And Jenni Pulos is facing a crossroads of her own, but on a more personal matter. Oh, and Chaz Dean pokes his greasy head out of his hole again to get a little more camera time micromanage Jeff and Gage Edward.

Jeff and company are still living and working from Valley Vista, the never ending construction zone. Head contractor Frank explains some details of the demo, which Jeff appreciates. Frank has been Jeff’s MVP for the past 16 years. Gage thinks Frank is slow, but Jeff appreciates his ingenuity and creativity. A smart contractor who comes through is nothing to sneeze at. But lately, Frank’s wife Angelica has been running his business. This situation is no bueno for Jeff. He’d rather deal with Frank, and Frank alone. 

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Real Housewives of New York recap

Last night the ladies of Real Housewives Of New York headed to Miami. No one was very happy about it except for Luann de Lesseps who is eager for the opportunity to show off her amazing, transformational, earth shattering, soul mating love – again. Yes, I think the operative word is “mating”. With other Housewives that is! Which begs the question: are three Housewives better than one?

Since Bethenny Frankel‘s fibroids are acting up again, she couldn’t go to Hawaii, which means the entire trip must be canceled. That is some amazing Twatmatizing!

I understand why Bethenny doesn’t want to go, since sharks smell blood, but why can’t the other ladies go as planned? Bethenny can remain in NYC, get her surgery, and then launch Skinnygirl Tampons or something. We all know she doesn’t want to go, and none of the other women actually want her to go – except for maybe Carole Radziwill, who seems to have more fun sans Beth. Beth On/Beth Off – and Mr. Miyagi says you control your own destiny, Carole

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