Recaps

love hip hop amina tara peter

I don’t know about y’all, but I think this season of Love & Hip Hop is one of the most authentic and real examples of VH1’s reality show offerings. The Peter Gunz/Amina Buddafly/Tara Wallace love triangle? Totally believable! The relationship between Cisco and Diamond Strawberry? It’s the epitome of true romance! And Chrissy? Talk about the ultimate business woman! Mona, you have truly outdone yourself this time! Last night’s episode reconvenes with Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris fixin’ to get hitched in Vegas…except that Yandy just can’t do it. She tearfully explains her desire for a big wedding with family to the officiant, and Mendeecees seconds her assertions as the poor officiant cheerfully nods in the background. I never saw that coming! I truly thought they would be man and wife after last night. Meanwhile, Amina is working on a new album with her sister who is in town from Germany. I feel like the only thing genuine about this show is the talent. You know I’m right! Amina admits that she doesn’t really trust Peter and that he’s not around often. 

Erica Mean and Cyn are starting a business together, but Cyn is more involved with her girlfriend’s Instagram drama with Chrissy. Cyn isn’t buying Erica’s elusive attitude when it comes to why Chrissy is coming for her on social media. Speaking of being elusive, Diamond has finally arrived in New York, but Cisco isn’t quite ready to open his home to his new girlfriend. Instead, he’s found a friend who will let her crash at her place. No worries, though. He’ll be by to visit. That seems reasonable.

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Scott Disick

Kourtney Kardashian begins this episode of Kourtney And Khloe Take the Hamptons with a little badgering session with Scott Disick urging him to visit his parents house and get it sorted out, cleaned, and possibly sold. Scott is still in a weird place and doesn’t feel ready to process the fact that his parents are actually dead. I get Kourt’s point but she needs to lay off.  Grief comes in many forms with people and you can’t push them to go through it. They just deal with it when they are ready to deal with it.
 
However, the next day Kourt and Scott hop in the car and cruise around his old neighborhood where he grew up.  They do a drive-by of some chick’s house that was Scott’s first kiss when he was 12 (and in tasteful Scott manner, calls her a whore) and he discovers that he’s not in the mood to deal with this now.  Later that evening, he confesses to Kourt that although he hates to leave her solo out in the Hamptons – he needs to get back to LA for work opportunities (still confused what he does exactly, but I digress).  Surprisingly, Kourt is very un-Kourt like and is mellow with her reaction to the news. She’s totally cool with him heading back to LA but not before they make a trip to a childhood favorite of Scott’s family, Fire Island.  He reluctantly agrees so we’ll see where this takes us. 

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phaedra parks cries over explaining apollo going to prison to her sons

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was a modern day fairytale! Maidens dueled over the elusive Roger Bobb, prince of production-ville, NeNe Leakes was cursed by an evil gay and and was doomed to an episode of bad wigs, and Phaedra Parks turned to stone. Ahhh… love! 

Before any of this happens we’re confronted with Mama Joyce. First thing, right out of the gate, like bad news before coffee in the morning that’s too early. Kandi Burruss‘ family is having a BBQ, she arrives with Todd, and she’s not speaking to Joyce because her boyfriend destroyed the house Kandi gave her, which Kandi, for some reason, didn’t know until after she bought MJ a new house. Things that make you go hmm…

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my five wives

On last night’s season 2 finale of My Five WivesBrady Williams revisits the idea of moving his family to Washington State, finds out the gender of his 25th child, and – of course! – has a panic attack (not necessarily in that order).

We begin with Brady checking in with Rosemary about her conflict with Paulie that’s been festering like an open wound since last season, but has not been discussed in any kind of helpful detail on the show thus far… so we really have no idea what this beef is all about. What actually came between them? (Well, besides a man, that is.) Rosemary feels like the situation is still touch and go. Brady says the rift weighs heavily on him, but Rosemary seems reluctant to tell Brady her true feelings on camera. She admits she needs to forgive Paulie and plans to invite her to lunch to make amends.

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mob wives drita karen natalie fight

Oh, the progression that is Mob Wives! The students have become the teachers. Just a few short seasons ago, some of these women were one bitch slap from an assault charge, and now those same ladies are the voices of reason. That’s growth, y’all! 

As we return to the scene of the rat race, er, girl fight, Karen Gravano is shoulder checking Natalie Guercio into a brick wall. Kudos to Karen for an often under-utilized move! Next year, poor Big Ang will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the time that the bar’s seven year anniversary was one upped by a spandexed Natalie trying to assert her toughness. Bystanders quickly intervene, and Drita D’avanzo likens it to better than cable. Storm wonders why his girlfriend had to go after Natalie after London already admitted (and hugged it out regarding) all of her faults. At home, Drita is excited that things are going so well with Lee. While he still won’t appear on the show, they burn through their cell phone minutes. His girls adore having him home, and he’s happy to play tutor to his two daughters. Lee admits that it’s hard being on the outside, and the pair is working so much that it’s hard to make time together. He urges her to make plans for an upcoming date night.

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bethenny frankel red dress elton john aids foundation

Bethenny Frankel returned to Real Housewives Of New York to save her career after a disastrous divorce and the network hoped she could also bolster ratings for the sagging show, but it seems she has a case of the sour grapes over her decision. As a result Bethenny isn’t meshing well with her co-stars, and they’re also bitter that she’s getting paid way more than they are to do nothing but be difficult and demanding! 

Sources say Bethenny is refusing to film certain scenes or interact in ways she considers “fake,” which is a real departure to her past approach on reality TV. Bethenny’s co-stars feel she’s acting like a spoiled, entitled “brat” especially since they took pay cuts from Bravo in order for the network to finance Bethenny’s return.

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 kim richards' daughter Brooke gets married

Last night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, stars rose, hearts sunk, and Kim Richards‘ daughter got married in a gorgeous wedding, which was sweet and lovely and made me wanna be nice to Kim. I imagine that will be short-lived. 

In what is surely the very definition of hell, Yolanda Foster is trapped on a rent-a-yacht in the middle of the ocean with Kyle Richards after receiving the news that her daughter Bella (soon to be known as The Disowned One) got a DUI. Yolanda sniffles through telling us that poor Bella had only ONE glass of wine and got pulled over. The injustice! Yolanda isn’t sure how to handle her children growing up and making decisions without her input. It hits her on an additional level because her father died in a car accident and she can’t believe Bella would be so careless. 

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kristen doute cannot let go of tom sandoval

Last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules reminded me of two classic movies that perfectly apply: Fatal Attraction and Dazed and Confused. 

Let’s start by examining the ulterior motives of Stassi “Free Ride” Schroeder. Stassi, quit SUR, moved away, started dressing the Jr. League vice president, and thinks that makes her a grownup. Sadly, she’s still loitering outside the gates of SUR, leaning against the bar with a pinot grigio, sighing, “This is what I love about these SUR bitches, I get more mature, but they just stay the same.” You know who I’m referencing!

Stassi needs a job – because she is bored of free riding her friends TV show, spending daddy’s money, and wearing that real live adult facade. Maturity is hard – especially when you really, really, really yearn to be back at SUR, causing drama, and bitchwhipping these pathetic losers into shape like Red Heather (since we’re going with old movie references! There’s pate, and croquet! And Kristen Doute is totally going to bomb the bleachers Ariana’s bar).

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