Recaps

Real Housewives of Dallas recap

Who is Heidi F–king Dillon and why am I supposed to be excited to see her? Because, so far, the only thing exciting about her is how absolutely ridiculously seriously she takes herself by dressing like T. Payne one minute and a Stevie Nicks impersonator the next. I was excited about Fritos though. Because as the ladies of Real Housewives Of Dallas reminded us, who doesn’t love Fritos?!

The episode was not all Heidi F–king Dillon and LeeAnne Locken looking incredibly pleased as punch that Heidi decided to enact a raging vendetta against Cary Deuber for no apparent reason. (Is she jealous of Cary’s yogi-ness?!) Brandi Redmond is dealing with a family tragedy – her brother returned from active duty in Afghanistan and is battling with some serious PTSD. Despite his family’s best efforts to get him help, he ended up trying to take his own life by overdosing. Brandi confides in Stephanie Hollman, who is shocked, but obviously supportive. With Brandi and Bryan having major issues, Brandi values her friendship with Stephanie more than ever.  

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Southern-Charm-shep-1

Hashtag New Craig Conover unleashed the beast on last night’s Southern Charm. After he announces Whitney Sudler-Smith must hate Kathryn Dennis because she started hooking up with Thomas Ravenel just one week after her brief stay at Casa de Altschul, the group is in an uproar.

Cameran Eubanks hasn’t heard this theory before, and she warns Craig that he may want to retract his statement. Whitney is gobsmacked (who doesn’t love that word?), reminding Craig that he slept with Kathryn long before T-Rav. Shepard “Shep” Rose giggles “sloppy seconds” before Craig prattles off that Kathryn stayed with Whitney for five days, not to mention, Whitney escorted her to the party where she left with Thomas. Whitney can’t get his chin off the floor. “Are you kidding me? You’re believing Kathryn over me?” Cameran is mortified that her new bestie is being raked over the coals by a hapless Hashtag. Craig is so concerned with channeling his inner Harriet the Spy, he doesn’t notice how awkward things have become for the rest of the crew. Cameran recalls the time Craig called out Kathryn to her face about sleeping with three guys in their circle. Sure, Craig did that, but the past is the past…he is friends with Kathryn now.

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sister wives meri janelle

The network has finally heard my prayers. Thank you, TLC, for only subjecting us to an hour of Sister Wives last night. It’s much more fun to watch when I don’t have to see the same story dragging on for two hours on a Sunday. Plus, Kody Brown’s hair is so special and magical, it doesn’t need to risk overexposure to the fans. Same goes for Meri’s catfishing wet bar! 

The Browns are expecting seventy people for Thanksgiving–you know that means! It’s a reason for a party! Janelle and Meri will be decorating for the holiday after a successful first counseling session, and Christine and Robyn plan to sit back and stay out of the way. Christine is actually less annoying and completely reasonable this season. Who knew that would happen?

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Shahs of Sunset recap

The moment we have all been waiting for is finally here: on tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset, we finally get to see the nuptials of former runaway groom Reza Farahan and his long-time boyfriend, Adam Neely. It’s a moment that has been highly anticipated by both viewers and the Shahs since last season’s shocker of Reza calling off their wedding in Thailand. There is only one person who hasn’t been anxiously awaiting this wedding – the other groom, Adam. Because he has NO IDEA this is happening. That’s right folks, you’re invited to an ambush wedding!

To lovingly set the stage of “marriages that shouldn’t happen,” we open with the not-that-sad Shoe Sultan, Mike Shouhed. It’s not even six months into his marriage to Jessica Parido and she has hit the trails in search of greener, less cheating grass. Reza stops by with bags of groceries and wants to know why Jessica left. Mike explains that he has been rude and neglectful of her and she decided that’s not the type of life she wants. Mike says he doesn’t blame her for teaching him a lesson. Clearly, Mike is feeling sorry for himself, and while Mike’s busy talking about how wonderful Jessica is, doesn’t mind throwing her under the bus by acting like she walked out over some trivial matter.

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Little Women: NY recap

After fireworks during a night out of belly dancing, the Little Women: NY think it’s about time to get away and plan a camping trip to bond and maybe even try and have fun. Let’s see if a little fresh air can mend the rift between Jazmin Lang and sister-in-law/ultimate ball-buster, Dawn Lang.

Jazmin meets up with roomie Jason Perez to discuss her issues with Dawn. Jason believes in tough love but thinks Dawn expects Jazmin to be just like her and that’s not fair. He questions if maybe Dawn resents Jazmin for taking her only brother away and would like to give her the benefit of the doubt but thinks her judgmental nagging is becoming too much to bear. Jason thinks if he can invite Dawn and Jazmin over to his parent’s house to see a loving family dynamic, it might help.

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Real Housewives of New York recap

Is it me or are things on Real Housewives Of New York just straight up mean this season?! If it isn’t raining men in NYC, it’s raining bitches – and everyone is getting drenched! 

At least things start out positively. Moving into the fifth floor of Manor Morgan is Luann de Lesseps. The heater may not work but at least there’s a hot plate.

While Luann lounges on a bed still bearing the trappings of 1992 bourgeois stylings, she wonders if her hostess with the mostess loose ends, Sonja Morgan, has told Bethenny Frankel about the Tipsy Girl unveiling. Sonja shrugs off the potential snafu. She ain’t scairt of Bethenny. The well of booze has a deep trough, and Tipsy Girl is but a little drop, all of it likely going down Sonja’s gullet. After all, there was once a Skinny Bitch, then along came a Skinnygirl, and that little low-fat piggy went on reality TV and squealed all the way to the bank.

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Briana and Matt recap

To you who are about to read this recap: I salute you! For those of you who actually tuned in last night for Part 2 of Little Women: LA Matt and Briana, Ride or Die…can we go in on a group therapy rate together? Because I may need some deep work on my residual anger issues after witnessing this unnatural disaster. It only took me an entire week’s worth of hot showers to clean the stank off after witnessing last week’s sh*t show, but I fear it will take Briana Renee a lifetime to live with herself after broadcasting this hot mess to the world. Sigh.   

We pick up after Briana told Matt Ericson he couldn’t come home yet, just after taping the LWLA Season 4 Reunion. Upon hearing that news, Matt threw himself a wittle hissy fit then slept in his car, but he’s suddenly back! And just in time to take Briana’s poor, sweet, innocent daughter, Leiana, to a “Daddy Daughter Dance.” Erm. No. WHY IS BRIANA ALLOWING THIS!? And where is Leiana’s actual father, Leif Manson!? 

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dance moms group

Well played, Lifetime, well played. I’ll give the network a slow clap for sure after last night’s wrap up to the Dance Moms reunion. It had me bawling like a baby, but I appreciated that it focused on the only two redeeming qualities of the show: the girls’ genuine friendships and the amazing dancing. Plus, kudos for plugging the girls’ music videos and YouTube channels! Each of these young ladies has a bright future ahead of her, and Jai Rodriquez is yet again a breath of fresh air compared to ol’ Phil Collins.

The reunion begins with the girls joining The Boys of Temecula in a fabulous hip-hop number. After the dance, Maddie, MacKenzie, Nia, JoJo, Kalani, Kendall, and Brynn join to Jai to dish about the drama and the fun we’ve seen this season. Maddie recalls that she, her sister, and Nia were the only original ALDC team members remaining, and they have all grown up together. Jai shows a clip of the girls learning of Maddie and MacKenzie’s departure which starts the waterworks. You can tell how much these girls love each other. Don’t you remember being that age when when those kind of friendships were the only care in the world?

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